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I'll take route C with a mix of both. Very few things work or stand as the better course of action 100% of the time. This is why we have pens and pencils, spoons and forks, trucks and cars, etc. In war, diplomacy, and dealing with the financial aid department in any large school in the United States, many factors fall into play. The situation at hand, the psychology of the person or people you are dealing with. Your own condition is also quite important.
Since dating is largely another dance between two parties, the same rules or rather lack of rules apply. I do a mixture of both, tending to see if a girl is somewhat compatible with me before asking her out. That said, I don't dig myself into a trench either. This is what I found to be the wisest course of action in that I'm getting more chances with women and not suspecting that there is something wrong with me in that I drive women away.
Rarely would I suggest people use their feelings to determine a course of action, but this time I will. Different people work different ways. They are led to different courses of action by God and His design of the individual's nature. One isn't necessarily better than the other when you consider it is He who writes the plan.
The way I see it, God directs more through life events than the tugging of the heart or audible voice. Rarely have my life decisions been based on a burning bush scenario. Law of averages says if that is the case, then exposure to a good number of desirable candidates will lead to an optimal outcome.
Since dating is largely another dance between two parties, the same rules or rather lack of rules apply. I do a mixture of both, tending to see if a girl is somewhat compatible with me before asking her out. That said, I don't dig myself into a trench either. This is what I found to be the wisest course of action in that I'm getting more chances with women and not suspecting that there is something wrong with me in that I drive women away.
Rarely would I suggest people use their feelings to determine a course of action, but this time I will. Different people work different ways. They are led to different courses of action by God and His design of the individual's nature. One isn't necessarily better than the other when you consider it is He who writes the plan.
The way I see it, God directs more through life events than the tugging of the heart or audible voice. Rarely have my life decisions been based on a burning bush scenario. Law of averages says if that is the case, then exposure to a good number of desirable candidates will lead to an optimal outcome.
Proverbs says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. The word finds means stumbles upon. What you need to be able to do is hear the voice of the Holy Spirit...or if you cannot, then the man for you needs to hear. First and formost, lay it all at His feet and ask for what you desire...trusting your Father to do what is right for you.
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Aqua_Girl09
Guest
My church teaches, be ready for a man when God leads him to you. My mom says. if you let a man find you then you'll have to make due with what come by. >_< IDK about you but I'm DETERMINED to have a good man. ALL of the girls in my close family have guys that are SERIOUSLY lacking EXCEPT one. and she went and found him. ^-^
yeah some times a guy will come to you. and that all well and dandy but what happens when you have an eye ona guy and he gets snatched up by another girl cause you were "waiting" for him to notice you. you don't HAVE to marry the dude, but taking an active stance on letting someone know you're interested is important i think.
yeah some times a guy will come to you. and that all well and dandy but what happens when you have an eye ona guy and he gets snatched up by another girl cause you were "waiting" for him to notice you. you don't HAVE to marry the dude, but taking an active stance on letting someone know you're interested is important i think.
I'm not trying to attack you, but I can't agree with this attitude.
You don't HAVE to have a guy. I honestly believe wholeheartedly that the only relationship worth having is one that was brought together by God. If you're out so DETERMINED to have a good man, then it sounds like your focus is off. IMHO, seek God and don't worry about whether you find a man, whether you are found by a man, whether you have to go seeking him, or whether he will find you. In my experience, when God is ready to move, He will. Out of respect and obedience to Him, seek first His kingdom and true righteousness. There is nothing better.
On a more personal note, I do believe that God's will could certainly be for me to have a 'lacking' wife. I would follow Him to the gates of hell if that's where He would lead me, surely I can survive, even thrive, in any relationship if it is His will. I am DETERMINED to seek His will and accept it, whether it makes me feel good or otherwise.
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Jullianna
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msi4mahesh
Guest
i think waiting isn't gonna do much to you. its true that sometimes when you wait your love will find you. but you should rather seek for your partner than waiting. love has to be so pure and unconditional. we will do many things for the sake of love without expecting anything in return. so my guess is that someone you always dream of is somewhere out there. you better go get him/her. here's an article which describes more about unconditional love.
http://www.worldtransformation.com/what-is-unconditional-love/
http://www.worldtransformation.com/what-is-unconditional-love/
I plan to simply live my life and keep my ears/heart open
Eyes too I hope! If he's super sneaky, you might not hear him coming.
I'm going to use something that happened on cc as an example. I was outside, and I suddenly got this overwhelming "I NEED to get in the cc chat room" feeling. It was so strong, I literally took off running. I met a girl that had just joined. She was dealing with stuff that I had been through, and (thank God), He used me to help her. We're friends to this day, and I'm blessed to know her.
I know that God could do the same kind of thing for a potential mate. Will He? I have no idea. I'm not sure if I care, at this point. I'm just trying to do what He wants me to do, and be where He wants me to be.
I know that God could do the same kind of thing for a potential mate. Will He? I have no idea. I'm not sure if I care, at this point. I'm just trying to do what He wants me to do, and be where He wants me to be.
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Jullianna
Guest
Eyes too I hope! If he's super sneaky, you might not hear him coming.
Our eyes can lie to us
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Gaming_Drummer
Guest
I think it's kind of a combination. The only girls I know have liked me in the past liked me without me having to do anything. I was just myself with them. I think that's the way in which we should "wait". However, the way in which we should "find love" is by meeting and becoming friends with the opposite sex. Also, at some point a move needs to be made (like the guy should ask the girl out formally).
Also, a VAST majority of my friends who I've talked to about their relationships said that when they first met their current girlfriend or boyfriend, they weren't trying to make the relationship happen. It just happened naturally. However, them actively hanging out and getting to know each other is what sparked the potential for a deeper relationship, so based on what I've seen, it's a combination of waiting and trying to find. You don't want to be lazy and hope that person will just magically appear, but you don't want to try too hard because that can put off people (including people you might have had a chance with otherwise).
Based on what I've experienced personally with girls, it seems that this balance is the best way to go. For some, slightly different strategies might need to be employed, but I've never had success with girls by trying too hard. On the other hand, I need to get to know girls more because, hopefully, somewhere along the line there will be a mutual attraction.
Also, a VAST majority of my friends who I've talked to about their relationships said that when they first met their current girlfriend or boyfriend, they weren't trying to make the relationship happen. It just happened naturally. However, them actively hanging out and getting to know each other is what sparked the potential for a deeper relationship, so based on what I've seen, it's a combination of waiting and trying to find. You don't want to be lazy and hope that person will just magically appear, but you don't want to try too hard because that can put off people (including people you might have had a chance with otherwise).
Based on what I've experienced personally with girls, it seems that this balance is the best way to go. For some, slightly different strategies might need to be employed, but I've never had success with girls by trying too hard. On the other hand, I need to get to know girls more because, hopefully, somewhere along the line there will be a mutual attraction.
I mean waiting sure does sound easy. You know just traipse through life never caring on way or another and then BAM God just drops the girls of your dreams in your lap...or that isnt at all how it works. I mea sure the idea that one day mr or ms right is just going to stroll across your path with no effort on your part is laughable. Im much more content meeting people and trying to find someone who is my type.
I plan to simply live my life and keep my ears/heart open
She simplifies what I make complex.
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Aqua_Girl09
Guest
sorry i didnt mean it like you have to have some one. Its
Perfectly ok to be alone but i dont see anything wrong with taking an active step. If no one comes along then so be it but if some one catches your eye then why not let them know?
Perfectly ok to be alone but i dont see anything wrong with taking an active step. If no one comes along then so be it but if some one catches your eye then why not let them know?
But is it your eye, or is it Gods? With all potential relationships in my life I have spent days, weeks, in some cases months praying about it. I refuse to let 'my eyes' or 'my desires' drive me into a relationship. Now if this man is also seeking God's will in His own life, why would God give you a message and not him? If God is leading you to lead, then certainly do. But if you're just going along on your own and trying to 'make something happen' I really think you're missing the target. :S
And it was your determination to find a guy that led me to believe that you felt you needed one. :/ Guess I misunderstood the emphasis.
Oh, and I guess I didn't answer your other question. Why not let him know? Well, it can cause lots of problems when you tell the wrong guy something like that. Or in my cases, the wrong girl...
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agirlandherguitar
Guest
I'd like to think that things should come naturally when it comes to relationships... but heck, what do I know?
I'm old fashioned and like to be pursued by a man (without leading the lads on!) but most of the time when a man has pursued me he only half-heartdly did it or he wasn't a Christian. I dated one guy that liked it when girls chased him and played games with me. Well honey, I don't chase and I don't play games. Goodbye! However, I have been in a situation where I did do the pursuing (meaning I asked him out) with one guy I thought was pretty cool but he was aloof and I backed off. I guess I was spared from a mediocre relationship at least twice!
A man has to show that he's interested, otherwise how are we supposed to know to give him the OK? I'm pretty tired of the apathetic nice guys in the church. They just don't do anything for me.
I'm old fashioned and like to be pursued by a man (without leading the lads on!) but most of the time when a man has pursued me he only half-heartdly did it or he wasn't a Christian. I dated one guy that liked it when girls chased him and played games with me. Well honey, I don't chase and I don't play games. Goodbye! However, I have been in a situation where I did do the pursuing (meaning I asked him out) with one guy I thought was pretty cool but he was aloof and I backed off. I guess I was spared from a mediocre relationship at least twice!
A man has to show that he's interested, otherwise how are we supposed to know to give him the OK? I'm pretty tired of the apathetic nice guys in the church. They just don't do anything for me.
It is just a detail, but old fashioned doesn't necessarily mean righteous... Just keep that in mind
And I don't know about apathetic guys. Denying yourself for Christ is FAR from apathetic in my books. But I don't know them, so maybe that's not what you're experiencing. :S
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Molen
Guest
I know its a little harsh, but there is a small part of me that would lol a little if all the ill just wait people never find anyone and then when we are all in heaven God was like "what about all those people I sent into your life? Did you really need a signed note from me to take a hint?"
You should make sure you are right with God, puttting Him first, and if its in His will it will happen, but dont expect anything to happen IF you are still in bondage to sin and worldliness, living a lukewarm Christian life, dead to the word of God!
Get on fire for God and truth, and you wont be popular, but on the right track!
let the one who is thirsty come!
Rev 22:17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come! And let the one hearing say, Come! And let the one who is thirsty come. And he willing let him take of the Water of Life freely.
There must be a hunger and thirst for the word or you will dry up! The waters of life are freely given, that brings on new life and hope to a lost soul, who will take that step to drink it in with much passion and desire.
But there must be a willingness and strong desire to drink it in, and know the words of life come from the giver of life, who gave it all to redeem mankind from the corrupting influence of sin and the evil ways of the world.
Many today are dead to the word of God, thanks to all the liberal false teachings that leave the professed in bondage to their flesh, seeking answers that are not there unless they hunger and thirst to do what is right, and come to the living waters that can save their soul!
The problem is that they see no need to thirst for the living waters; they see no purpose in digging deep in the word as commanded to test the waters and make sure they are pure and bring life.
They settle for the polluted water that can only bring a slow death, as they draw away from truth, trusting in lying words, and empty promise’s the Lord never made.
They take the living water, filter it through man’s opinion, then come to the conclusion they are depraved sinners, bound to live a lukewarm life in total ignorance to the real living waters that can drown out their flesh, and lead them into eternal life.
So, until the church wakes up and preaches the truth, where free will and ability is preached over original sin and depravity, then repentance where the vile sins and rebellion toward God stops, followed by a living, dynamic faith in love, now based on a conditional salvation, where the convert must stay on the narrow road, guard the heart from all defilement, and remain thirsty for the implanted word, that can save the soul.
Rev 21:6 And He said to me, it is done. I am the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who thirsts I will give of the fountain of the Water of Life freely.
It’s difficult to thirst for something when you believe it’s been done for you in advanced, you do nothing but trust it has been done, thus leaving you filled and content, but still double minded, and carnal in mind!
Seek the living waters of truth before it’s too late, you will be glad you did, and God will reward you with much living water as you seek Him with all your heart and soul, testing all spirits, and exposing the evil and false ways of the apostate system!
Tommy 12-25-12