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J
If the guy was abandoned by his wife and she cheated on him or is with someone else now, I would not have a problem with marrying him. That makes him a victim in my mind, not an offender. For any other reason, I would not be comfortable with it, especially if he was the one who left.
This is my personal opinion only, based upon my interpretation of the words of Christ, Himself. Divorce happens to people and it destroys everything it touches. It is NOT unpardonable through the blood of Christ though. I'm no one's judge, but I am accountable for my own decisions.
This is my personal opinion only, based upon my interpretation of the words of Christ, Himself. Divorce happens to people and it destroys everything it touches. It is NOT unpardonable through the blood of Christ though. I'm no one's judge, but I am accountable for my own decisions.
R
Being a single mum with 6 children is not easy especially when I am used to being with my husband for 21 years. He made his choice to leave his family to pursue his own interest and passion. However, over time with God's love and mercy He was able to restore my life as well as the lives of my children. I have no doubt that with God everything is possible, He is all that I need. Growing in his love can only draw me closer to Him. Things of this earth starts to grow dim as I grew to love and adore him everyday.
I have admired the sacrifice that faithful single parents made in order to provide a stable home for their children. It faithful single parents have the heart to start a relationship it will be between them and their God.
I have admired the sacrifice that faithful single parents made in order to provide a stable home for their children. It faithful single parents have the heart to start a relationship it will be between them and their God.
B
I know this is not common wisdom, but what if your premise is wrong? Perhaps you are taking our Lord's words out of context.
Do not forget Matthew. You commit adultery by divorce and remarriage except in the case of "just cause" ie immorality.
There is a lot of debate about our Lord's choice of wording in Matthew and a clear understanding of exception. I agree that divorce is a sin because it goes against God's original plan for morality, but we are also supposed to have morality in our marriages.
God allowed divorce because of the hardness of their hearts. If we look at the times and context, the arguments of the Pharisees of the day, the goal appears to condemn divorce as a means of sexual promiscuity. Deuteronomy 24 also seems to have the same theme. So if someone is divorced due to no fault of their own how can you claim/condemn a future remarriage to be adultery?
That does not seem consistent with God's nature of forgiveness.
Do not forget Matthew. You commit adultery by divorce and remarriage except in the case of "just cause" ie immorality.
There is a lot of debate about our Lord's choice of wording in Matthew and a clear understanding of exception. I agree that divorce is a sin because it goes against God's original plan for morality, but we are also supposed to have morality in our marriages.
God allowed divorce because of the hardness of their hearts. If we look at the times and context, the arguments of the Pharisees of the day, the goal appears to condemn divorce as a means of sexual promiscuity. Deuteronomy 24 also seems to have the same theme. So if someone is divorced due to no fault of their own how can you claim/condemn a future remarriage to be adultery?
That does not seem consistent with God's nature of forgiveness.
The bible says that the only reason a husband and wife should divorce is of fornication. But my pastor has a different take on it and I agree with him. If the spouse is abusive and doesn't change and keeps hittin you again and again and you feel your life is therathend, then it's ok to divorce them.
K
Wow...so happy to see at least a couple people touched on the topic of forgiveness. There are sometimes situations that are out of our control, where we are with spouses who are abusive in one way or another. While I don't think a woman (or man) should just walk away from any situation without going through the biblical steps such as discussing the matter with a trusted member of the ministry or seeking christian counseling, what happens when Christian counseling (years and years of it) results in still having an abusive mate, do you stay in the relationship?
In my situation, my christian marriage counselor told me that I had done everything I could to save the marriage, that I showed patience, forgiveness, mercy and grace where others would have given up a long time ago. The ministry also knows of my situation and have counseled with my soon to be ex-husband to no avail.
If we truly live under grace instead of under the law, would I be punished and forced to live a single life? The truth is that I'm not sure I even want to be in another relationship and that singleness sounds really good right now. But, just like the person who talked about lust and how the Bible talks about lust of the eye, I think more people have sinned the sin of adultry than would admit. So...let he who has not sinned cast the first stone...but remember that what judgment you make of others you need to be prepared to be judged of yourself. I pray that you are judged well...or at least be willing to conceed that, just like the mercy seat covers the ark of the covenant, mercy itself covers the law. We no longer are old testament people chained to a law that sets us up for failure. We are new creatures under a new covenant that is full of mercy, grace and forgiveness.
Have a wonderfully blessed day!
In my situation, my christian marriage counselor told me that I had done everything I could to save the marriage, that I showed patience, forgiveness, mercy and grace where others would have given up a long time ago. The ministry also knows of my situation and have counseled with my soon to be ex-husband to no avail.
If we truly live under grace instead of under the law, would I be punished and forced to live a single life? The truth is that I'm not sure I even want to be in another relationship and that singleness sounds really good right now. But, just like the person who talked about lust and how the Bible talks about lust of the eye, I think more people have sinned the sin of adultry than would admit. So...let he who has not sinned cast the first stone...but remember that what judgment you make of others you need to be prepared to be judged of yourself. I pray that you are judged well...or at least be willing to conceed that, just like the mercy seat covers the ark of the covenant, mercy itself covers the law. We no longer are old testament people chained to a law that sets us up for failure. We are new creatures under a new covenant that is full of mercy, grace and forgiveness.
Have a wonderfully blessed day!
I agree with your pastor. But people like to look at the Bible with artistic license. They see the word "divorce" and mean it to say "ticket to marry someone else".
This is something that I honestly wrestle with on a philosophical level. If a man is filled with the Holy Spirit...if he's a born again Christian...shouldn't he have had the discernment to marry a girl who was genuinely filled with the Holy Spirit as well? Because if the woman he married was filled with the Holy Spirit, if she was a born again Christian, she wouldn't be abusive and wouldn't leave him for someone else. In my opinion, there are very clear differences between someone who is genuinely a Christ follower and someone who's a wannabe, and these will become apparent by the time you're on the dating level. But on the other hand, I've heard stories (never seen it myself; only heard stories) of this happening to genuine Christian men/women. Somehow they were deceived, just like we all are deceived at some point in some way.
Personally, if it were me, if I were deceived and divorced, I'd play it safe and stay divorced. The Bible speaks way too much on what would happen to a divorced person who remarries, and I'm not going to take that risk. If there is a chance that remarrying makes me an adulterer; if it makes me into someone who God sees as being in open rebellion against Him; that would disqualify me from heaven. Not worth it. Nothing in this world is worth that. There is nothing to be gained if you gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul.
This is something that I honestly wrestle with on a philosophical level. If a man is filled with the Holy Spirit...if he's a born again Christian...shouldn't he have had the discernment to marry a girl who was genuinely filled with the Holy Spirit as well? Because if the woman he married was filled with the Holy Spirit, if she was a born again Christian, she wouldn't be abusive and wouldn't leave him for someone else. In my opinion, there are very clear differences between someone who is genuinely a Christ follower and someone who's a wannabe, and these will become apparent by the time you're on the dating level. But on the other hand, I've heard stories (never seen it myself; only heard stories) of this happening to genuine Christian men/women. Somehow they were deceived, just like we all are deceived at some point in some way.
Personally, if it were me, if I were deceived and divorced, I'd play it safe and stay divorced. The Bible speaks way too much on what would happen to a divorced person who remarries, and I'm not going to take that risk. If there is a chance that remarrying makes me an adulterer; if it makes me into someone who God sees as being in open rebellion against Him; that would disqualify me from heaven. Not worth it. Nothing in this world is worth that. There is nothing to be gained if you gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul.
J
I think a lot of us have been mislead by people we initially thought were Christians. I know that I certainly have been, but thank God I didn't marry them. But sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and people marry against their better judgment...
Sometimes people marry before they become believers...
Sometimes the spouse never accepts Christ...
There are variables. Life happens.
I would certainly think long and hard before marrying again too. I'm a widow and I'm still thinking lot and hard about it.
Sometimes people marry before they become believers...
Sometimes the spouse never accepts Christ...
There are variables. Life happens.
I would certainly think long and hard before marrying again too. I'm a widow and I'm still thinking lot and hard about it.
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N
just a testimony happened in my neighborhood here in Indonesia around 15-20 years ago..
a husband took another woman into the house where his wife and kids also lived (how crazy's that?)
all the neighbors knew about this (including my parents) and everyone got so mad at the husband (other people in other area of the country could do more things than just got mad) and told the wife to leave that guy because other than being treated that way, she was beaten too.
guess what the woman said (she is a christian)..
she said "no, I'm not leaving my husband. I pray and fast that he will be a pastor someday"
I don't remember how long after that, (it was years), the husband left that other woman and repented.
today, he is a pastor.
a husband took another woman into the house where his wife and kids also lived (how crazy's that?)
all the neighbors knew about this (including my parents) and everyone got so mad at the husband (other people in other area of the country could do more things than just got mad) and told the wife to leave that guy because other than being treated that way, she was beaten too.
guess what the woman said (she is a christian)..
she said "no, I'm not leaving my husband. I pray and fast that he will be a pastor someday"
I don't remember how long after that, (it was years), the husband left that other woman and repented.
today, he is a pastor.
K
i have an uncle who in d past condemed divorce n re-marriage, but it turned out that jus a few yrs down the line he filed and eventually divorced his wife of 9yrs and remarried a yr after. The sad thing is he was a pastor.
so never say never cos ive realized that things we say we will never do come as a test to us later and most times we fall for the same things we saw as wrong in the life of others.
Truth is God hates divorce. but we also know divorce in some cases is inevitable. so my opinion is that married couples ensure that their motives for choosing this option is right.,cos i believe God judges our motives more than he does our actions.
Meanwhile i dont think anyone who has been through a divorce should be in a hurry to remarry. Rather they shud take time to seek God for healing n grace and as well work on improving themselves so as to b a blessing n not a burden to pple arund them.
however thoes of us that arent married must not be a hurry, but ensure we seek God's perfect will so we dont ever have to consider divorce after we are married.
God help us all.
so never say never cos ive realized that things we say we will never do come as a test to us later and most times we fall for the same things we saw as wrong in the life of others.
Truth is God hates divorce. but we also know divorce in some cases is inevitable. so my opinion is that married couples ensure that their motives for choosing this option is right.,cos i believe God judges our motives more than he does our actions.
Meanwhile i dont think anyone who has been through a divorce should be in a hurry to remarry. Rather they shud take time to seek God for healing n grace and as well work on improving themselves so as to b a blessing n not a burden to pple arund them.
however thoes of us that arent married must not be a hurry, but ensure we seek God's perfect will so we dont ever have to consider divorce after we are married.
God help us all.
G
I've read enough of Scipture to know that it is FALSE to think that you are cursed if you marry someone who has previously been married. We are to follow Him, the Lord leads, how is He leading you ?
Listen, His still, small, voice and direction of your life is going to be known.
Scripture is 100% God's breathed Word , make no mistake, but, to put ANYTHING of God's creation and doing in a box is dumb and stupid, God may have just the right previous married person for YOU.
All i really got to say is DON'T condemn anyone because all you do is condemn yourself, and, make your life (self) inroads for Satan's handling of things. And, yes, condeemning yourself IS possible Don't do it , live with a great joy in your heart and letting God HANDLE all things in our lives. He is Lord, He has risen from the dead, He is Lord. And, He is Lord Jesus. And, He should be lord over your life and this I do KNOW, 'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'
Listen, His still, small, voice and direction of your life is going to be known.
Scripture is 100% God's breathed Word , make no mistake, but, to put ANYTHING of God's creation and doing in a box is dumb and stupid, God may have just the right previous married person for YOU.
All i really got to say is DON'T condemn anyone because all you do is condemn yourself, and, make your life (self) inroads for Satan's handling of things. And, yes, condeemning yourself IS possible
Don't do it , live with a great joy in your heart and letting God HANDLE all things in our lives. He is Lord, He has risen from the dead, He is Lord. And, He is Lord Jesus. And, He should be lord over your life and this I do KNOW, 'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'
M
This whole discussion reminds me of the first sin.
God says, "Don't eat of the tree"
Satan says, "Did God really say don't eat of the tree?"
Trying to make them question it.
It is real simple. God said it. That settles it.
God says multiple times don't do it. So just don't.
Stand on the Word of God!
God says, "Don't eat of the tree"
Satan says, "Did God really say don't eat of the tree?"
Trying to make them question it.
It is real simple. God said it. That settles it.
God says multiple times don't do it. So just don't.
Stand on the Word of God!