children with disassociation

[Shilo]

I had read something a few days ago on children with disassociation problems. They can become easily abused for their entire lives or they become very abuse of to others even to the point of murder. The article was saying how Satan’s number one ploy is to get children when they are young through sexual or physical abuse.
The children learn to disassociate there mind from what is happening to their body. It is not the abuse its self that is the great harm to the child but the learned pattern to cope with it. Some children are able to put the abuse behind them and become a strong advocate for others. The majority of these children from the learned behavior of disassociation let demons into their lives. When we let our mind be empty as to avoid what is happening a demon comes and takes the space in our minds we left open. This can lead to multiple personality disorder because of the many demons let in by the form of coping and the person leaving their mind.
If the child never learns how to cope with life they will keep opening themselves up for demonic influence . When they reach adulthood they can be so medicated just to make it through each day or may end up in a Psychiatric hospital.
As our world gets darker and this is more common then not. How do you on a child level help them to renew their way of thinking, teach them ways to cope with stress appropriately. Help them understand in a non-scary way that to open their mind up like that is to open up to unseen danger. Then if this child is a Christian how do you explain on their level about their authority in Yeshua.

Then you may not see this child much maybe it is a friend’s child or whatever. How do you do the most good in the little time you have? How do you know for sure the signs you see in the child is disassociation and not just a shy child?

 

[Lucy68]

Wow, what you've said is an eye-opener. I'm afraid we're seeing more and more of these children and many of them are now reaching adulthood. This is why it's so important for children to experience love in childhood and bond with a primary care-giver.

I don't know how to reach those who have learned to disassociate themselves...which I guess they have done for self-protection. Except to pray very hard for the Spirit to break down these strongholds that they have built around themselves...with Satan's help...and show them the benefits of love. As the world spirals more and more into degeneracy, this will be a huge challenge for Christians (which it always has been but I think it's going to get harder and harder).

 

[Ariel82]

How do you on a child level help them to renew their way of thinking, teach them ways to cope with stress appropriately. Help them understand in a non-scary way that to open their mind up like that is to open up to unseen danger. Then if this child is a Christian how do you explain on their level about their authority in Yeshua.

Then you may not see this child much maybe it is a friend’s child or whatever. How do you do the most good in the little time you have? How do you know for sure the signs you see in the child is disassociation and not just a shy child?

you give them a Bible and tell them the joys of having the Holy Spirit as a friend. A person that will never leave or forsake them, someone who loves them and wants to hear their prayers and has the best for them. teach them to recognize how the demons lie and wreck their lives. how the false spirits are nothing but fallen angels if angels at all.

Pray for them, trust that God will save them and lead them to overcome the strongholds built within their minds and hearts.

show them the love of God is unconditional and that the sins done upon them does not make them soiled beyond cleansing.

 

[needmesomejesus]

you give them a Bible and tell them the joys of having the Holy Spirit as a friend. A person that will never leave or forsake them, someone who loves them and wants to hear their prayers and has the best for them. teach them to recognize how the demons lie and wreck their lives. how the false spirits are nothing but fallen angels if angels at all.

Pray for them, trust that God will save them and lead them to overcome the strongholds built within their minds and hearts.

show them the love of God is unconditional and that the sins done upon them does not make them soiled beyond cleansing.

It sure will be hard telling them Christ won't ever leave them when facing abuse. The question they'll ask is where was He when I was being abused. I'm not arguing with you; what you have said is true, but it will be hard for them to accept. I did a summer camp dealing with abused kids..... it was hard to reach them, but it's possible. The most important thing in consistency. Show them love day in day out no matter what.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

It sure will be hard telling them Christ won't ever leave them when facing abuse. The question they'll ask is where was He when I was being abused. I'm not arguing with you; what you have said is true, but it will be hard for them to accept. I did a summer camp dealing with abused kids..... it was hard to reach them, but it's possible. The most important thing in consistency. Show them love day in day out no matter what.

I do not know any children with this issue, but i was a child who used disassociation to cope.

What she says in the above post is true, its easy to be angry and question God, Where were you, why did you let this happen. I did my fair share of that as i got older.

I wish someone would have told me how much God loved me when i was going through everything.
So i would say that is the best course of action to take, make sure your loving them and telling them how much Jesus cares. Also let the child know its ok to express his or her anger towards whatever abuse that happened.

 

[Shilo]

NeedsomeJesus,
Say this is a child you see maybe oncea month. How do you do the most good in the little time you have with them. I agree it is hard to tell them about the Holy spirit because it may come out that God does not love them or where has he been. So do you just hug them or what.

 

[BarlyGurl]

When the discussion is centered on children... the solution is rather simple... as Ariel explained.
I have been very recently noticing an alarming trend for these children to have become adults having an obstinate mindset to "marry" psychological diagnosis' to Christian healing principals. "I have to take medication because I was traumatized", " I have emotional problems because I was traumatized", "I am not responsible for my problems because I was traumatized", "I am the innocent victim who was traumatized", "You are victimizing me again by not giving me special treatment because I have been traumatized", "I expect you to pander to my narccisism and overlook my abnormal mental health because I have been traumatized"... ad nauseum. These people are EVERYWHERE... they are not in psychiatric wards... they are walking around, have jobs... work at your grocery store, educate your children, make policy decisions in community and business and VOTE.
Knowing this... I am far more concerned about the social future of humanity... oh wait... God told us... it's going to get worse... yep we are rapidly approaching the last days of the last days. That said... how can those of us awake and aware... help turn the tide for these people who prefer their bondage... since it justifies the carnal and fleshly nature??

 

[Shilo]

It is by love and prayer that bondage can be broken. I see hurt children everywhere and just what to be able to give them the best blessing in the little time they may pass into my life.

 

[needmesomejesus]

NeedsomeJesus,
Say this is a child you see maybe oncea month. How do you do the most good in the little time you have with them. I agree it is hard to tell them about the Holy spirit because it may come out that God does not love them or where has he been. So do you just hug them or what.

I'd say the best way is not always coming straight out about Christ and all, but being "Christ" in your actions. Yes, telling them about Christ is great, but showing them Christ's love whether they accept you or not is the key to breaking down the wall. Also, you have to be careful with hugs depending on what kind of abuse the child has suffered.

 

[BarlyGurl]

It is by love and prayer that bondage can be broken. I see hurt children everywhere and just what to be able to give them the best blessing in the little time they may pass into my life.

Yes Shilo... definately prayer. Do you have any suggestions for the practical application of love... that would be considered constructive and instructive vs solicitous and enabling? Regarding dealing with these adults?

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

When the discussion is centered on children... the solution is rather simple... as Ariel explained.
I have been very recently noticing an alarming trend for these children to have become adults having an obstinate mindset to "marry" psychological diagnosis' to Christian healing principals. "I have to take medication because I was traumatized", " I have emotional problems because I was traumatized", "I am not responsible for my problems because I was traumatized", "I am the innocent victim who was traumatized", "You are victimizing me again by not giving me special treatment because I have been traumatized", "I expect you to pander to my narccisism and overlook my abnormal mental health because I have been traumatized"... ad nauseum. These people are EVERYWHERE... they are not in psychiatric wards... they are walking around, have jobs... work at your grocery store, educate your children, make policy decisions in community and business and VOTE.
Knowing this... I am far more concerned about the social future of humanity... oh wait... God told us... it's going to get worse... yep we are rapidly approaching the last days of the last days. That said... how can those of us awake and aware... help turn the tide for these people who prefer their bondage... since it justifies the carnal and fleshly nature??

Where is your compassion for these people who have been traumatized??

It says in the bible God is close to the brokenhearted... shouldn't we strive to be like him in that area instead of lacking any type of love?

P.S. Im one of those people who take medication, and not only am i not in a straightjacket, im posting on these forums

 

[Shilo]

Yes Shilo... definately prayer. Do you have any suggestions for the practical application of love... that would be considered constructive and instructive vs solicitous and enabling? Regarding dealing with these adults?

I have worked a little with adults but not at all with children.
With adults I have found that when you first enter in some type of relationship with them. They watch you to get an Idea of if they can use you or are you there to use them. I just be as helpful as I can in the boundaries that I have. Always listen because the more you listen you can get to the root of the problem. They then see how far they can push the boundaries. Next step they start asking for help in small ways. As they learn to trust you they start working a little on the root of the problem. And it is so warming to my heart when I hear the words “ I think God sent you to me, “ to help me. I have never seen someone get completely better but I have seen great progress.

 

[Jordache]

"I had read something a few days ago on children with disassociation problems. They can become easily abused for their entire lives or they become very abuse of to others even to the point of murder. The article was saying how Satan’s number one ploy is to get children when they are young through sexual or physical abuse.
The children learn to disassociate there mind from what is happening to their body. It is not the abuse its self that is the great harm to the child but the learned pattern to cope with it. Some children are able to put the abuse behind them and become a strong advocate for others. The majority of these children from the learned behavior of disassociation let demons into their lives. When we let our mind be empty as to avoid what is happening a demon comes and takes the space in our minds we left open. This can lead to multiple personality disorder because of the many demons let in by the form of coping and the person leaving their mind.
If the child never learns how to cope with life they will keep opening themselves up for demonic influence . When they reach adulthood they can be so medicated just to make it through each day or may end up in a Psychiatric hospital.
As our world gets darker and this is more common then not. How do you on a child level help them to renew their way of thinking, teach them ways to cope with stress appropriately. Help them understand in a non-scary way that to open their mind up like that is to open up to unseen danger. Then if this child is a Christian how do you explain on their level about their authority in Yeshua.

Then you may not see this child much maybe it is a friend’s child or whatever. How do you do the most good in the little time you have? How do you know for sure the signs you see in the child is disassociation and not just a shy child?"

To be clear, we all disassociate from time to time and for varying reasons. Disassociation is a coping mechanism that we all tend to fall into whether we intend to or not. People diassociate during childbirth, car wrecks, and other traumatic events. First things first, children learn to disassociate to abuse, and then when placed or found in similar situations they revert back to their coping mechanisms. Why do I know this? Because I was that child. Abuse started in my home when I was an infant, and I quickly learned to separate myself from the experience. That kind of terror cannot be contained in a child's mind. As I got older, because I had never learned boundaries of any sort, I found myself taken advantage of in many situations. And as abuse continued I found myself almost unaware that anything was happening at all because I couldn't handle feeling helpless. The abuse IS what harms the child. Learning to disassociate saves the child's sanity. However, as with all other coping mechanisms, one mature out of them. But disassociation is very difficult to overcome. I do not believe diassociation always brings demons. Yes, it can bring demonic influence, but it would be dangerously false to say that any disassociative person is demon possessed.
Healing from disassociation involves learning to integrate all of those disassociated parts of yourself into one hole healed person. I can look back in my life and identify several disassociative breaks, if you will. These breaks cause people to respond with the maturity they should have had at the time the trauma occured. For instance, if a child lost a parent at 5 years old, their mind is likely not capable of handling that. Disassociation occurs. The child associates certain feelings with that maturity level. Now later on as an adult that same person may have to support a friend whose mother dies the same way. An adult should be sad but capable of handling that situation and caring for his/her friend. However, the trigger of something similar happening causes that person to respond as if he/she were 5 again. Cognitive Behavior Therapy from a Godly Christian counselor is likely what is needed to reintegrate those "personalities."
What does this look like? Well, I will share a personal experience. In a counseling session I would go to my safe place. This is a place I have pondered and imagined and even drawn that would be a comfortable place to meet with either the Father, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. So I wander into my safe place and Jesus is present. The couselor asks if we can invite the Father in. Jesus is safe. He is a strong friend. Friends never hurt me. The Father however is terrifying to me in one sense. As the Father enters I start to feel extreme fear. Why? Because as a child I learned to associated fathers with abuse and rage. I can actually see myself at that age trembling in fear, trying to avoid the Father. The Father is gracious and He would never force me to meet with Him. He respects my boundaries even if they are truthfully unneccessary. He can be patient and compassionate. As I am picturing this there are several people present. There is me as an adult. There is me as a child (different ages depending on the triggers). There is the Father. And there is Jesus. The counselor asks how the child feels and as an adult I can put words to her fear. She then asks me to explain to my child that the Father is safe and trustworthy. As an adult I know these things. As a child I did not. Eventually, the more you are able to convince whatever broken part of you appears of the truths understood by your adult, integration occurs.
Disassociation usually looks like a child who suddenly reverts in certain circumstances. A 10-yr-old may start wetting the bed when mom's bf moves back in. A 5 year old may tremble in fear when a certain sound is heard. An adult may suddenly throw what looks like a tantrum because he/she doesn't want to do something.
The best approach is to talk them through it. Help them identify what they are feeling and perhaps why. Usually when the current trigger doesn't trully match to the severity of the response, then disassociation is present. A child may not be able to speak truth to a younger part of themself initially so the adult may need to speak to that disassocated part of the child. You may need to actually change your tone and language to address the triggered part of the child. If you're talking to a 7 yr old who's acting like a 3 yr old, you may need to talk to them like they are 3. Reassure them. Speak truth. For instance, one time I was triggered because my very close friend who knew I was going through a very difficult time didn't check up on me once for the whole week after Christmas. I began cutting and became suicidal. I couldn't sleep and I felt terror at every turn. I felt that way because I was remembering the feelings of my parents abandonment. Now, I was 26 at the time, but my friend took my hand and I remember him changing his tone and staring me straight in the eye and saying, "I did not forget you. I still love you. You're ok. " He gave me a hug and patted my head, and that was that. The triggered part of me was gone again.
I have lots of experience with disassociation. I have lots of stories and anecdotes. I do not believe healing requires medicine, though it may be neccessary for a time. I do believe that as an adult we need to take responsibility for our actions. I do take my responsibility. Am I triggered from time to time? Yes, but I've learned coping mechanisms and if I don't use them then it's my fault ultimately. Yes, some people may completely avoid responsibility, but simply recognizing a problem doesn't mean the person isn't willing to take responsibility... and taking responsibility also doesn't mean that there isn't an underlying problem that needs to be dealt with.

 

[Kefa52]

OK..You see this child once a month. For how long an hour. At a distant level because you are some adult they don't know. Thats 12 hrs a year. You, have this child labeled as dissociate. not even a great professional would do that.
Another thing that harms children is labels. Talk to the adult in the child's life, If you are not pleased with their reaction call a professional Child Protective Service if you suspect abuse.
Put the child and the adults at the top of you and your Church prayer list.

 

[Kefa52]

My last post might sound cold and uncaring.
#1 If we get emotional about this with the child they tend to think they did something wrong and they shut down.
#2 I know my limits.
#3 The child isn't mine. I don't have any legal right to get in between the child and parent other than calling a professional service.

 

[Powemm]

1 Corinthians 1:25
25*For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.

 

[Powemm]

the word disassociating caught my attention when reading through topics, so I ventured in because I recognized a lie...

I am a person who was taken from my biological family at tue age of three and placed into foster care until the age of five. now things happened in foster care to
Me that an adult wouldn't dream of happening on their worst day.. broken bones, broken heart, broken spirit ...
Disassociation? Let's talk about this from a "spirit perspective ". I believe the spirit will hide in the shelter of the almighty when we don't even know it ... God protects children ... and even states he will make is remeber no more evil tjat comes against us.. This is His grace given to us when we do not deserve it and when we do not ask for it ... I know for a fact God protected me from great evil tryin to penetrate my life as a young child, why? He knew if he could get me to buy all tue lies , I wouldn't be right here talking about Gods goodness, mercy, grace, compassion and love he has for is all... He knew I would t shut up .. So he tried to destroy what God created...

there are all sorts of labels placed on people ... When in fact they are spiritually deprived ...
I will use me to talk about this ... I went through depression in high school, angry , scared, distant from people ..
so many bad things were poured in I wanted no more of it ... I wanted something good .. But didn't know what that goodness was.. Or how to get rid of what was already in me ... my memories... I will stand and say tjat what is poured in isn't always poured out in these circumstances .. What is inside is like a bull in a china cabinet ... Wreaking mass destruction
in the mind and soul of individuals... outward behaviors ? are "cry outs " of a desperate soul screaming for help... but this is in Goda timing between the individual and god himself ... I was in church , went to counseling , but never cried out to god directly for help.... it wasnt until I was in high school , in a state of depression so deep , all I wanted to do was die... I felt like I was in a tar pit so deep with walls layered in ooze that no matter how hard I tried to dig my entire being out of it , I just kept slipping further down.... I see now my soul was so thirsty it was eating in on itself to stay alive...
No one cared enough to rattle my chains , slap me awake , get in the middle of my " stuff".... No one recognized what was happening .... Not even me ... I just knew I was dying ...

I got so desperate I went on a search, left Tje catholic church I grew up in and started going to every church I knew to go to... I was looking for answers ... I woke up in a Pentacostal church ... I heard the truth for the first time ... Why? I don't know, why there? Dont know that either, I just knew when I heard the truth I would know it ... why after so many years and my entire family being catholic was I the one who bailed? Don't know ... I was so upset when I learned tue priest wasn't God, that I confronted my family... Asked every one if them "why for my entire life was I never told the true way to God was through Jesus Christ and I didn't have to go to a priest to be forgiven of my sins?". I wanted answers to that question... But soon found out ... they didn't know the truth either .. Many unaware stares And mocking comments.. I was soon labeled as being disobedient ... I have never stepped back into a catholic church since .not angry about it any more but wasn't going to go where I hadn't been told the truth... With a priest who wanted me to cone to him instead of God.. Sitting in a box with a divider between us once a month asking for his Firgiveness....
well after many years , Good things if god were being poured in so with the mixture , weird things came out ...what was bad mixed with what was good .. Society likes to label this filtering process as "bipolar". Wich I was never diagnosed with but recognized what was happening to me spiritually...god doesn't put such labels on us "ever".
I knew no one else was ever going to put another label on me again ..and if anyone was going to do that , if anyone was going to put a label of any kind again on me it was going to be god himself ... if I wasn't suppose to exist I wanted to hear it from god Himself... So I went searching for Him .... I wanted answers and I wanted the truth ... arrogant wasn't I? I was as
Good as dead anyway , I was ready to be taken completely out ...

There is nothing that will bring a soul back on the verge of death like God will...

Today because of God and God alone I'm able to tell you anything about this...
Disassociating , is that what you call a dead spirit ? yes, it's exactly what you call it ... Separation from Gods truth ..no association with it ..... . It is written !! "I am the vine you are the branch, you can not be separated from me "
Let me tell you from a little girls perspective in a pretty mean world and coming into it... hedge that baby in and feed them everything god is ... and the church ? Careful there too... People like to keep God in a box and these kids need to be made aware ... He's outside of it ... To big to be contained in one ...
I am here to tell you that God has released me of anger and bitterness .. Hes poured so much in tjat I am able to forgive and show mercy and live in areas where I could not because he himself showed me all of what he has done for me...
people have a hard time listening to all the story of foster care years ... They begin to show pitty... I am here to say you'll drowned a child in pitty too if you show it ...only Teaching them to become a victim ... no! Is my answer to pitty I count every single bit of what I went through as gain! ...I got a front row seat into some of tue very life Christ went through to save my soul... First hand, two years worth , as a kid , I got box office tickets to the prime show of his very life .... lived some of it ... and key me tell you what Jesus Christ went through was absolute pain and suffering ... He did it on purpose though ! I didn't ... you talk about a God who loves us so much .. Ever willing to go through furs hand wha he experienced? Try it it will humble you to your knees... every day ... You will be thankful for all you do have , for the family who's faces look like yours... Bone structures you recognize ...be glad you have never been ripped apart from them... be thankful you have baby pictures and know what you look like as an infant ... Mine start at age five ... I was adopted into a beautiful family who cared enough that my scars didn't matter ..my anger didn't matter , my disassociating didnt matter.... They loved me no matter what ... Never put a single lable on me... they instead loved me while god worked all that out ...and who he is in .. .. I thank god
every day for them ... but I thank god I know I was made from his image ..and adopted into his kingdom ...
Best advice I can give anyone ... Make Christ known , make his truth known .. Every single day .. In a card in a letter, highlight and mark it in a bible and give to them as a present ... Remind them remind them remind them .... you won't harvest, god will in his perfact timing... Today I am happy to say, I am happier than i have ever been in my life ...peaceful, thankful for all I do have ... Content ... Have a successful job , and not on a single medication ... None ... Praise God! He removed all that .... Love, no matter what .... No matter who, no matter when ... It's live pouring in as God pours into us that beats out all the ugly stuff ... Love always

 

[Powemm]

Nothing of who I
Am or what I've become had anything to do with me... God has done every bit of what he has promised ... from ashes to beauty .. From death to life ... And people say Jesus isn't walking around on the earth... He most certainly is ... lending a hand, speaking his truth to us... catching someone who is falling ... Yes my god is certainly alive.... He even caught me ... Carried me when I couldn't walk , comforted me when I could not speak ...is present when no one else is around ... Speaks ecouragement to me.... comes through people like you and me to do it ... Yes hens mist certainly alive and well this very single
Moment
Peace in Christ Always and in Him so much freedom from all bondage
In love
Michelle

 

[BarlyGurl]

>>>>> I ventured in because I recognized a lie...<<<<

I wanna HUG you.... after I get done jumping up and down with JOY! I am SOOOOOOO glad you posted to this thread. In an assortment of ways I have been TRYING to communicate that ONLY JESUS is the answer.... Not regression therapy (which is just reliving the pain), Not drug therapy, Not the excuse of the label, NOT hiding behind the excuse of trauma....JUST JESUS... is all these people/children need.
Cyber Hug... smile.

 

[keep_on_smiling]

We live in a dark world and it is getting darker with each day that passes. We shouldn't be surprised, God told us it would get this way. We are to be that light that helps others come out of the darkness.

Shilo- Your response is great! I know you said it's from your experience with adults mostly, but from my experience with kids and young adults the same is true. Creating relationships with both children and adults is so important, this allows for opportunities to be a witness and show the love of the Lord.

Dissociation isn't necessarily a bad thing. It is how some children/people survive. It's when those that use this coping mechanism don't have anyone that it gets bad. They need God and may not be receptive to the idea of getting to know Him, but this is why we need to be there for others. Create relationships, get help for those that we think are in trouble. Be a listening ear, a prayer warrior, or someone who is available for a hug.

Children and adults that use this coping mechanism will of course have spiritual issues and demons, but they are most likely going to have these for simply going through what they have endured. We all do in some form or another; God can heal them.

Remember: Those who struggle with pro-longed disassociation are not a lost cause. With God anything is possible and even for those adults that struggle with it, by the power of God's love that they can heal.