Too nice?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

See_KING_Truth

Guest
#21
#21
It almost seems to me that when women have told me that I am too nice, that they think it is too good to be true or something. It is like they see it as some sort of act or charade that I am playing that will eventually wear off. It's kinda like they are saying to me "Okay, you can quit pretending now". I know it has nothing to do with being unassertive or indecisive because I am neither of those.

I will never understand how somebody can be too nice...
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#22
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
138
63
#22
PopClick said:
Some people might be surprised by this :)o), but sometimes I let things go too easily. I've had to come back to stuff later, after I realized that I couldn't let someone get away with what they said to me or think that what they did was okay. <--- THAT kind of being "too nice" is really the opposite of nice. It sometimes robs the other person of a legitimate growth opportunity.

And sometimes I do the opposite, not letting something slide when I should. I'm seriously working on knowing when to do what.
Click to expand...
Wait... I think that might be what Bridget was saying in her last post.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#23
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
48
34
#23
I don't think I've ever called anyone "too nice", but I could think of a few reasons why I might use the phrase. "Too nice" might mean that they are just super happy-go-lucky all the time. Yeah, it's great that you are so positive, really it is, but I also want to know that you can show other emotions. I'm an emotional person so if I was down and a "too nice" guy told me "Cheer up cupcake, the sun is shining and the day is bright and everything is rainbows and puppies! Just look for the good things!", I think I'd be a bit irritated. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep type of thing. Not that I want a guy to be depressed, or have a temper, but I just want him to be REAL. I have no idea if that made sense. :eek:

At the same time, I think a lot of people think that being confident means you must be loud and always speaking your mind and over-assertive. Not true. Just because I like to hang back or I'm quieter doesn't mean I'm not confident. :)
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#24
#24
I kind of get tired of 'nice guys' always being called indecisive. I, for one, am able to pick where i want to eat, for example, but i am trying to be considerate, or maybe i just genuinely don't have an opinion at that moment. I'm like that sometimes. Sometimes i have an opinion, sometimes i don't. If i have an opinion, i'll give it, if i don't i'm not going to feel obligated to make an opinion so i don't appear 'indecisive'. Don't always be quick to assume a guy giving you the opportunity to choose is weak or indecisive. I think it's pretty clear on this site that i'm neither indecisive, nor shy about speaking my mind.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#25
#25
I'd pick a "too nice" guy any day.
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#27
#27
Descyple said:
Look no further Nod!

I'm too nice, too smooth, too hot!!! Oh wait a minute, you live in a different country - too bad!!!
Click to expand...
It's not too late to move ;)
 
Descyple

Descyple

Senior Member
#28
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#28
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
It's not too late to move ;)
Click to expand...
You would move to Canada for me Nod??? Wow, that is an awesome show of commitment.

Just don't forget to wear your "I Love Ann of Green Gables" t-shirt, and your hat that says "Canada is America's Hotter Cousin", because you won't get past our border without them!!!
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#29
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#29
Hm, my red-green outfit seemed to work pretty well. But maybe a woman couldn't pull it off as well? :)
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#30
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
48
34
#30
Ugly said:
I kind of get tired of 'nice guys' always being called indecisive. I, for one, am able to pick where i want to eat, for example, but i am trying to be considerate, or maybe i just genuinely don't have an opinion at that moment. I'm like that sometimes. Sometimes i have an opinion, sometimes i don't. If i have an opinion, i'll give it, if i don't i'm not going to feel obligated to make an opinion so i don't appear 'indecisive'. Don't always be quick to assume a guy giving you the opportunity to choose is weak or indecisive. I think it's pretty clear on this site that i'm neither indecisive, nor shy about speaking my mind.
Click to expand...
I agree. Not having an opinion on something at the moment is different than being indecisive. Sometimes I really don't care whether we go eat at Applebees or at Steak n Shake. Sometimes letting someone else decide can be a gesture of kindness, too. I've been to restaurants I didn't really want to go to because I know that my friends really liked them. I guess in that sense I'm too nice?? :eek:

You (general you) don't even have to know where you want to go, as long as you speak up before hand about where you DON'T want to go. Conversations like this tend to annoy me:

"Where do you want to go?"
"I don't care."
"Okay, how about Chinese?"
"Ew, no, I don't want Chinese."
"Okay, how about Mexican?"
"No, I don't want Mexican either."
"So...what do you want to eat?"
"I don't care."

But I digress. :D
 
Descyple

Descyple

Senior Member
#31
Jun 7, 2010
3,023
48
48
#31
LightningClap0002 said:
Hm, my red-green outfit seemed to work pretty well. But maybe a woman couldn't pull it off as well? :)
Click to expand...
Red-green outfit??? Why does every American think that Canada is the North Pole and we all dress like elves??? - lol.
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#33
#33
Often times when a girl claims that a guy is "too nice" , they have known this guy for a long time. Perhaps she just can't see him in a different light because he has always been the friend.

Other times when I have heard this, it's just a nicer way to say that he isn't interesting enough. If the spark isn't there, then who can blame the girl for not wanting to be with him.

I would love to meet a guy that was "too nice" as long as he challenged me to be a better person. If you aren't being challenged, it's going to be hard to grow.
 
alienx7587

alienx7587

Senior Member
#34
Jul 10, 2011
182
4
18
#34
Bridget_Left_China said:
I sometimes think I am too nice. I, unfortunately, tend to let people walk over me. Not totally to the doormat level of existence, but in a way that avoids conflict. I should stand up for myself more than I actually do. I put up with a lot of stuff to avoid drama/conflict. It tends to lean towards the ultra submissive, when I should probably be a little more guarded of my self-worth...if that makes any sense at all. Sigh.
Click to expand...
Yup, that is what I meant by 'doormat'. Sometimes you kind of just have to take a "I don't care" attitude, even though you do care. I believe this is called 'tough love'!
 
AsifinPassing

AsifinPassing

Senior Member
#35
Jul 13, 2010
3,608
40
48
#35
Bridget_Left_China said:
I make this thread in honor of a quote retrieved from another thread. There might be a 100 threads like this, but I just don't care... :D I have to know!

A few gentlemen on another thread have said that girls have told them that they are fine, but too nice.
TOO NICE?? What does that even mean?

Is this how the conversation goes?
"Sorry fella, I would date you but you're just way too chivalrous for me." ???
"Hey, you're a great guy, but your politeness and concern for others just makes me want to gag." ????
"Well, I would date you, but you seem to care too much for my safety and well-being." ?????

Really? Do women really think like this?

I don't understand the whole not liking nice guys thing. I prefer nice guys. I shun the bad boys and actively SEEK OUT the nice guys. So do all the nice guys just want a bad girl? Is this why I keep coming up short?

Discuss. :D
Click to expand...

According to one of my Aunts..."Nice guys are boring."

Apparently, the problem with being 'too nice' is that you're not wild and crazy.

Me? I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but in a 'weekend-warrior' sort of fashion. Have I climbed the heights and explored the depths? Yes. Do I do rugged outdoors-men type things. When I can, yes. Do I throw axes, cook meat on a spit, and act like Viking from time to time? You betcha!

...but this is 'boring' apparently. (Some) Women seem to want men that are rich, handsome, and strutting around the world like they own it. (I guess...)

Me? Occasionally thrill-seeking, yes. Domineering, no.

Sometimes it just feels like this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzDn24FQTVQ

Me as Harry...and girls' expectations as Ron's argument. lol
 
Last edited:
J

Jordache

Guest
#36
#36
I'd take a nice "boring" guy over a flashy jerk any day. Nice guys should not finish last. I can be "boring" too. We could be boring together :).
I have a friend who gets into not-so-safe relationships. She loves The Lord, but she loves bad boys... Partiers, not Christian, the kind of perves who jump out of their car and follow you down the street. I didn't realize until her brother actual pieced it together for me. Nice guys are boring to her. I really don't get it. I don't understand the mentality of someone who will date dangerously just because its fun. I love my friend dearly, but she worries me.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#37
#37
Funny thing about the bad boy... Some of the very things that may have attracted you to him initially will be highly obnoxious six months later. Most women eventually catch onto this.
 
W

Wood-Note

Guest
#38
#38
For some, it may simply be their personality or how they are in certain cases. I'm not indecisive, but I'm also not too assertive about matters such as a place to eat it. I can easy decide on matters but primarily out of courtesy I let the other person make some decisions. I honestly have to say though, if I am "too nice" then I would prefer to be. Boring? No, just relaxed.
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#39
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#39
Jullianna said:
Funny thing about the bad boy... Some of the very things that may have attracted you to him initially will be highly obnoxious six months later. Most women eventually catch onto this.
Click to expand...
This goes for girls too (but maybe is shown in different aspects), what may be portrayed as Italian passion and spontaneity, wears off pretty quickly and you're left with... well, nothing.
 
Searching4Truth

Searching4Truth

Senior Member
#40
Jul 25, 2012
1,904
24
0
#40
"If women wont find you handsome, they sure will find you handy."​
 
You must log in or register to reply here.