J
Jordache
Guest
So, I'm a singer/songwriter. I've been writing music all my life, but I've never really shared it. I'm surrounded by amazing musicians. I can sing, but I would never really consider myself and instrumentalist though I do play enough to write music. I can chart music, and I'm learning arrangement. Recently I received a word from The Lord asking me to basically embrace my gifts and put my music out there. I've felt this desire for a long time, but I only recently got the confirmation from The Lord. I've felt called to lead worship and share my story and music for many years, and the desire has only grown stronger as I've grown older.
In March my church is doing a women's retreat and the theme is on the inner child. In November of 2011, after I left a party to avoid a public breakdown, I walked home very angry at myself and really wanting to self-harm. I had had a conversation with a friend earlier that day with a friend where she was talking to me about loving our inner child. Somehow I became very aware of my inner child at that moment and I began a bit of internal screaming. I was very frustrated because I didn't understand how in the world I could love MY inner child. It seemed impossible. Instead I heard myself more clearly than ever screaming "I hate that little girl! I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!" As a conscious adult I was very confused at how I could be saying this to myself, but it was as if I'd always been saying it and I was only finally hearing it for the first time. So when I got home I began writing this song, and it became the voice of my inner child... The one that could never speak loudly enough.
After a few days of pondering I finally got the nerve and asked the women's ministry leader if there may be a place for me to share the song. It seems there may be. Gulp! Now I'm nervous. If I had a nice little recording set up I would sacrifice my pride and link an Mp3 but the lyrics will have to suffice.
Little girl so lost, so alone, she ran for shelter into preying arms
Little girl with no hope at all, in all her wandering she always found harm
No chance in this world to walk through it unscarred
she ran so fast and so far
Ch:and she cried, "Come sit with me
I'll lay my head upon your chest.
Won't you let me feel your heartbeat?
Will you give me rest?
Little girl so confused, so undone; she can't make sense of their senseless ways
Little girl so lost in her pain; she has forgotten her very own name
Overwhelmed and afraid, she's got nothing to say
She is bowing to shame, she knows no other way
In March my church is doing a women's retreat and the theme is on the inner child. In November of 2011, after I left a party to avoid a public breakdown, I walked home very angry at myself and really wanting to self-harm. I had had a conversation with a friend earlier that day with a friend where she was talking to me about loving our inner child. Somehow I became very aware of my inner child at that moment and I began a bit of internal screaming. I was very frustrated because I didn't understand how in the world I could love MY inner child. It seemed impossible. Instead I heard myself more clearly than ever screaming "I hate that little girl! I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!" As a conscious adult I was very confused at how I could be saying this to myself, but it was as if I'd always been saying it and I was only finally hearing it for the first time. So when I got home I began writing this song, and it became the voice of my inner child... The one that could never speak loudly enough.
After a few days of pondering I finally got the nerve and asked the women's ministry leader if there may be a place for me to share the song. It seems there may be. Gulp! Now I'm nervous. If I had a nice little recording set up I would sacrifice my pride and link an Mp3 but the lyrics will have to suffice.
Little girl so lost, so alone, she ran for shelter into preying arms
Little girl with no hope at all, in all her wandering she always found harm
No chance in this world to walk through it unscarred
she ran so fast and so far
Ch:and she cried, "Come sit with me
I'll lay my head upon your chest.
Won't you let me feel your heartbeat?
Will you give me rest?
Little girl so confused, so undone; she can't make sense of their senseless ways
Little girl so lost in her pain; she has forgotten her very own name
Overwhelmed and afraid, she's got nothing to say
She is bowing to shame, she knows no other way
praying in Jesus's name that all doors will be opened and all needed will be provided, for the ministry you are called to.