My wife died 7 months ago tomorrow. God had told both of us in prophecy a year earlier, so we were both ready for it. I had her stuff out of the house, conducted her memorial praise service, and signed the cremation papers in just over 24 hours. Here are a few things that I noticed that may be relevant to your question, as they all still took a few months.
1. When you see something around you, and want to tell your spouse about it when she comes back from her vacation, you are not ready.
My husband has been gone since Sept 2011 so this is not really fresh. Is there still sorrow, yes, but not like their was. I really don't think about him all that much at all.
2. When your spouse shows up in dreams and announces she is back to stay, you are not ready?
I don't remember the last time I ever had a dream about him.
3. When your spouse shows up in a dream, and says she is visiting for a few minutes, and wants you to know God loves you, you are ready.
See above.
4. When you can make a personals ad that says what God wants you to next, you are getting ready.
I'm a bit confused with this one. I certainly could describe who I am and what God has called me to more now than before I was married. I really knew very little about myself, and then lost that little part during my marriage. Today I can say I know myself more than I've ever known myself before. And for the most part, I think I'm a pretty cool chick... But then maybe you meant something else.
For you personally, and for others with a serious call on their life, this is the key. I meant precisely, that you need to know who you are in Christ. A cool chick is one thing. A serious leader of Christian arts and worship is quite another. God wants you to have a husband He has chosen, one who is comfortable with your calling and what it will entail.
5. When you minister to a woman and compare her to your spouse, you are not ready.
I wonder about this one a bit too. I don't compare with bitterness. I, more or less, am just aware of people's brokenness. For instance I might think this person seems to be headed down the same path my ex was. But I don't really think "Wow _______ is so much more ______ than my ex."
From some of what I have seen you post, almost anybody is?
6. When you minister to a woman and notice she has some gifts like your spouse, but is very different, you are ready.
I don't do a lot if ministering to the opposite sex since right now it seems that always leads to their pursuit of me. I do realize my ex made his own choices mmakes him very different than even those with similar characteristics.
The question, I suppose, is the first spouse part of you, or part of your history?[/QUOT
My ex is definately history. I love him as a person and a child of God. I pray for him and I try to encourage him, but he wants absolutely nothing to do with me. In his life, he'd rather I don't exist. I have attempted friendly communication to say happy birthday or merry Christmas, but he blows me off. I'm just trying to be cordial and not end up enemies since we are still in the same group. But I think that will end too. Regardless, there is nothing romantic there.
