Why Aren't You Married?

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Crimson_Lark

Crimson_Lark

Senior Member
Apr 17, 2012
207
15
18
Yet again I had another person(teen girl) ask, Why aren't you married?

No exaggeration I get asked this question weekly. I'm so tired of this question.
In my mind it seems like people are implying that I appear normal but I must not be
normal because I am single.

Since I'm all out of answers that have any grace or courtesy, I would like to hear yours.

What do you say when people ask this question?
 
I'd rather be single with Jesus than marry the wrong person and be miserable
 
While I usually try to respond with humor "like I know right!?!?" or "cus all the 25 to 32 year old christian men in this city have fallen off the face of this earth" or "the only christian guys around me are 10 to 5 years younger than me...I think they're scared of me! hahaha", to try to hide the sadness; so they won't feel sorry for me. Pity from someone younger than you is always great :rolleyes: But I think I respond that way because I really don't know. I just don't know. I have gone through all the possible reasons in my mind, but in the end, I don't know.
 
I get that questioned asked ALOT. Last time was Saturday night.

My answers vary but the ones I used the most are:
1. Cos I love doing what I want when I want
2. Cos there aint a guy out there that can keep up with me and the life flowing in me
3. Cos my walk with God is so close there's no room for a guy
4.My knight is off fighting a battle somewhere but he will come find me when he's finished.

They all seem to work well :)
 
I can't say I've ever met a woman that I'm really attracted to who is also a good hearted believer. I'm not really interested in marriage because I think my standards are unrealistic.
 
>>>>I'd rather be single with Jesus than marry the wrong person and be miserable<<<<

I am astonished by this habit of answer from men. WHy don't you just say... I believe marriage is an insidious plan to rob me of any happiness in life? This really bad atitude flies in face of the purpose, plan and provision for mariage... which was instituted by God. If Christian marriage is supposed to be a picture between Christ and the Church.... what kind of witness is it when grown men are saying.... I'd rather be single????
 
BarlyGurl said:
>>>>I'd rather be single with Jesus than marry the wrong person and be miserable<<<<

I am astonished by this habit of answer from men. WHy don't you just say... I believe marriage is an insidious plan to rob me of any happiness in life? This really bad atitude flies in face of the purpose, plan and provision for mariage... which was instituted by God. If Christian marriage is supposed to be a picture between Christ and the Church.... what kind of witness is it when grown men are saying.... I'd rather be single????
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This is speculation, but maybe Zao feels this way because he was married. It may change down the road, but I think its the position that he is taking presently. Zao, your welcome to correct me if I am wrong.
 
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Arwen is right for the most part. I'm definitely NOT saying I don't ever want to marry. I do want to marry again, I do want to experience what a God centered and loving marriage is really meant to be. What I'm really saying is I don't want to end up so desperate that I just marry the first person to show interest in me. I certainly don't have a negative perspective on marriage.

Yes I do have some bitterness due to being previously married, which I'm sure will fade in time, yes I am concerned when I hear about a young couple getting married because I think of all the horrible experiences I had with my ex-wife and haven't experienced a good marriage, which may fade with time, more easily if I do experience a good marriage myself.

I have a lot of issues and baggage when it comes to the subject of marriage and could probably go on for pages, but my statement does not mean I am opposed to marriage by any means, it doesn't mean I'm particularly happy being single. It just means I would rather sit and wait for the right person than have to experience what I already did again, which is something I hope and pray for everyone else as well.
 
zaoman32 said:
I'd rather be single with Jesus than marry the wrong person and be miserable
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Ditto. Not that the wrong person would necessarily make me miserable, but I totally get what you're saying :).


To the OP: When people ask me why I'm still single, I usually tell them that God just hasn't wanted me to get married yet, because I honestly think that's the case. I think I've learned a lot about marriage the last few years, even while being single...looking back, I realize that the times when I wanted a husband the most, I was probably the least prepared (mentally, emotionally, spiritually) to have one. I'm actually quite glad that I'm currently single.....but I do hope to marry someday if that's what God wants for me :).
 
BarlyGurl said:
>>>>I'd rather be single with Jesus than marry the wrong person and be miserable<<<<

I am astonished by this habit of answer from men. WHy don't you just say... I believe marriage is an insidious plan to rob me of any happiness in life? This really bad atitude flies in face of the purpose, plan and provision for mariage... which was instituted by God. If Christian marriage is supposed to be a picture between Christ and the Church.... what kind of witness is it when grown men are saying.... I'd rather be single????
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In our defense we take a look our friends marriages, family marriages and see how miserable the other guys are. lol. We have reason to be wary
 
I am not married because I have a nice car, and something tells me a woman and my car could not co-exist. <--- That and I haven't really met anyone that i'm interested in and a solid Christian.
 
arwen83 said:
Woohoo, something to look forward to! Misery! j/k :P
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lol, to be fair I have seen a couple really happy marriages that have lasted over 10 years and still going. I can count those on one hand though :P.
 
Donkeyfish07 said:
In our defense we take a look our friends marriages, family marriages and see how miserable the other guys are. lol. We have reason to be wary
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Why is it the guys are always the miserable ones?!
It isnt like your species is easy to deal with! I may not be married but I have dated. Im in a relationship now actually. While I love him he is sometimes the dumbest thing on the planet. He has literally CALLED me to come over and BOIL WATER!

You men... make women nutzo.
True story.
 
Elizabeth619 said:
Why is it the guys are always the miserable ones?!
It isnt like your species is easy to deal with! I may not be married but I have dated. Im in a relationship now actually. While I love him he is sometimes the dumbest thing on the planet. He has literally CALLED me to come over and BOIL WATER!

You men... make women nutzo.
True story.
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lol, I'm aware that it goes both ways. I'm just sayin, people wonder why guys look like they just found out that a nuclear launch has been detected when the word marriage is brought up. We gots our reasons :P
 
adekruif said:
I am not married because I have a nice car, and something tells me a woman and my car could not co-exist. <--- That and I haven't really met anyone that i'm interested in and a solid Christian.
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That, my friend, would only happen in a perfect world :P Its the car or its the girl. Where you invest your love, you invest your life :P
 
Elizabeth619 said:
Why is it the guys are always the miserable ones?!
It isnt like your species is easy to deal with! I may not be married but I have dated. Im in a relationship now actually. While I love him he is sometimes the dumbest thing on the planet. He has literally CALLED me to come over and BOIL WATER!

You men... make women nutzo.
True story.
Click to expand...

tell him to boil his own dang water.
 
arwen83 said:
That, my friend, would only happen in a perfect world :P Its the car or its the girl. Where you invest your love, you invest your life :P
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And we both know we don't live in a perfect world...so I thought ahead and bought my car now before any woman can say NO! ;) As I see it, the car is now grandfathered into any relationship I may fall into, so thereby takes more inportance. :p

I'm mostly kidding, but there is some truth to it...
 
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