If God Never Brings You A Partner...Cool With That?

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iTOREtheSKY

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I am interested as to how you single people feel about this. I struggled with this for some time before I had gotten married. I should point out that I am now divorced (just over a year) and was married to a non-believer.
I can honestly say now,at this stage in my life,I have no desire to get married again or even date,so I am ok with not being with someone...but prior to now,I certainly wanted a "soulmate". I thought I'd found one. She was not christian,but that didn't matter to me. She shared many of my beliefs. Neither of us wanted children. We both wanted many of the same things in life. Neither of us were materialistic. For someone "unsaved' she had more christian attributes than many saved people I had gone to church with for years.
I do not condone dating/marrying a non-believer. Just for the record. I am not trying to endorse it.
I remember many christians at my church so desperate to marry & at times I felt like I was one of them.
Once I stopped searching I found my ex. Did God bring her to me??? I have no idea. I didn't care.
I am just being honest.
I do think in some strange way God used this flawed marriage to strengthen me...to show me that even if I had the "perfect" mate in my eyes,that it still would not fill the void that only he could.
Now after all is said & done,I am finally at peace with my "love life" or even lack of it.
I was just curious as to if anyone else has had a similar time or feels the same?
 
I really don't think God intends for me to be alone for the rest of my life (He created me to be too much of a nurturer for that :) ), but I never obsess about it.

I'm an observer/profiler/people watcher and the most important thing I've learned from doing that is something my Daddy told me long ago: It's better to want something you don't have than have something you don't want.

When the time and person is right it will happen.
 
I'm okay with falling in love again but, I don't ever want to date around or go hunting for a wife.

I used to think it was something where if two people just made it work they could learn to love each other.

Now I think I just have to do what I love and not worry about it. I won't compromise my well being for the sake of finding someone that I don't have in my life. I'm not trying to find someone to fill a position.

I'm just not going to settle for anything less than falling in love but, I'm moving forward with my life without holding my breath.
 
I had a well it doesn't matter mentality on dating non-believers before I joined CC. Now that I've read everybody's experience with it I think I'm gonna stay clear from now on myself. I see 100% failure rate with every Christian I've asked. As far as the thread title goes, whatever God wants is always best....even if it's the opposite of what you feel like doing. It took my stubborn butt a long time to learn that.
 
Honestly, I would be disappointed and probably struggle with God over it. I believe some are called to be celibate and some are called to be celibate for a season. I know some people who have no desire to have a boyfriend/girlfriend and then get married. I know many people that have the desire to marry some day and don't have anyone, I'm one of them. I don't know that God would give me the desire and then say, "Sorry, Christian. I know you want to get married but I want you to stay single for the rest of your life. Sucks to be you!". Right now it looks like God wants me to be more invested in him before I seek out a girl. And that's a good thing.
 
I wouldn't so much as date someone who isn't Christian.

No, I'm not okay with being alone.
 
last year I experienced a beautiful love. the kind u see in movies the kind you get envious of. the kind that made you feel blessed. he passed away in Oct a day before proposing. if god decides someone new needs to come into my life so be it. but it was a privilege to be loved and to love john and I'm eternally grateful for the season god gave me and I seek on for Jesus to court my heart
 
I was married for 15 years married at 18 divorced at 32.. But you know God does some
Pretty amazing things with our broken stuff .. everything failed in my own efforts .. I couldn't understand why everything fell apart .. Well without god .. It just does " I am the vine you are the branch, you can not be separated from me". It took several years for me to realize .. God wanted my relationship right with him "first" .. And He meant it .. My life fell apart .. Wich is precisely where He needed to bring me to authentically cry out to Him.. well it worked :) praise god!
I can tell you , since restoring many areas of my relationship with God.. I no longer have a desire to date or be remarried .
However, I did ask God to prepare me to" be" a partner if that indeed is His will and plan for my life.. I've gone from
Looking for a partner to wanting to " be" what God is to me . Where I am is a very comfortable spot ..
I think of "Hosea" in the bible a lot .. .. he wasn't looking to get , he was looking to give .. I think there is a bast difference in the way god is preparing each of us.. God gives us from the abundance of His heart.. even when we do not reciprocate that to Him.. That's the kind of love I want coming out of me .. he tells us " Go and do
Likewise ".
 
I think, like Tintin, it'd be something I really, really would struggle with. I so desire to be a wife and mother someday. I have a really strong mental image of my husband being with me in a ministry of some sort, playing with kids and giving them a positive male role model, one that they don't get at home (that's the kind of children I worked with before and want to work with again). I don't think there's anything wrong with that desire, but I think that God has me single right now in order for me to grow more as an individual, and with Him, before He brings anyone else into the picture. So, I'm not too worried right now, but if the answer was "Never", I don't think that's something I'd be okay with, honestly. :/
 
rachelsedge said:
I think, like Tintin, it'd be something I really, really would struggle with. I so desire to be a wife and mother someday. I have a really strong mental image of my husband being with me in a ministry of some sort, playing with kids and giving them a positive male role model, one that they don't get at home (that's the kind of children I worked with before and want to work with again). I don't think there's anything wrong with that desire, but I think that God has me single right now in order for me to grow more as an individual, and with Him, before He brings anyone else into the picture. So, I'm not too worried right now, but if the answer was "Never", I don't think that's something I'd be okay with, honestly. :/
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I honestly wouldn't be ok with the thought of you never getting married either, Rachel.
 
I would like to sincerely thank everyone here for being so honest. I know different things work for everyone but some people who put on their "Jesus mask" and say, "Oh, being alone with the Lord is such a blessing!" and either aren't saying what's really in their hearts or else can't see how much some of us are hurting truly drives me up the wall.

As most of you know, I was married at 23 to someone whom I felt was my dream person fallen from the sky. It ended when I was 25 and he left for someone else. I have truly never been the same ever since, and not in a good way. People told me, "Oh, you're so young... Don't even worry about it!" Whatever. Now that A DECADE AND A HALF have gone by, I have slowly, painfully, and unnervingly come to the realization that several more could go by, and my life could easily end without finding someone. I've filled the time with everything "the good Christians" told me to do--Bible study, prayer, classes, volunteer work, ministries, taking care of kids and other people... And every night, for several thousands of nights now, I leave these people with their dates, spouses, and families... and go home alone.

And I suppose I'm supposed to say, "God wants only the best for me!" and "Whatever is God's will!!!"

Sorry. That's not me. All I can manage for now is a very honest, often angry, and very sad, "Whatever."
 
I don't have time to read all posts just now but I will return...for now: Last night I taught my little kiddie group about the last supper and gethsemane, where Jesus asked God to spare Him if He could. But he also accepted that God knew what was best. I think we need to accept that too.
 
I believe that all of us who are christians here on cc who want to get married have the gift of marriage.And that goes for all christians.So no worries about that, so that said I believe i have the gift of marriage. So its not if but when for us :)
 
God has a perfect plan and has Been very good at lining us all out so far :)
 
Thanks for taking the time to share,everyone. I think it's pretty interesting the variations on how we all feel & see things. Donkeyfish07 mentioned in his post - " As far as the thread title goes, whatever God wants is always best....even if it's the opposite of what you feel like doing."
I totally agree. I know for myself,there's times I will do the right thing or what I am supposed to do,but still not liking it one bit. LOL...I guess that's where doing all things with a joyful heart should kick in.:)
 
Take it from someone who
Learned that lesson a "real hard" way.. Just do
It !

I got
My spanking and learned my lesson too lol
 
If God Never Brings You A Partner
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I pose the question: why would God do the above (except when a person does not wish to get married) when marriage is divinely given to men and women as a gift from Him...Heb 13v4 (Gen 2v20,22): 'Marriage is honorable among all...'?

Yahweh Shalom
 
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