do guys get a bad rap?

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zaoman32

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I got some killer comments from my last Arwen/Jullianna inspired thread, so thank you everyone who offered input! However that lead me to a whole other line of questioning. Do you ever notice how in a lot of movies about married couples the guy is rarely ever right, and the women is never wrong? What's up with that? Or when you go to some marriage seminar or I guess for those who haven't been married, your church does a sermon or series on marriage, they start pulling that Happy Wife Happy Life, or "I was wrong, I apologize, it will never happen again" garbage (in reference to what the husband should say). I thought marriage was an equal partnership? And we are constantly bombarded by, not just shows and movies, but even church and marriage counselers who constantly look down on the male being the stupid know nothing of the marriage. No wonder guys take absolutely no initiative. With many of us having sercurity issues as it is do you really think it's helpful to be even more discouraged by the kinds of teachings that are so widly accepted?

What are your thoughts on this?
 
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Have you ever noticed that in TV commercials it's similar..where the man is a bumbling idiot & the woman is usually being rude to him or belittling him? When I was married,even my non-christian wife noticed this & it was as she put it.."disturbing".
I think it's one more way the Devil has influenced media & Hollywood to cause even a greater rift between the sexes- spiritually,physically & mentally. It is unfortunate too that some teach that (even jokingly) about the "happy wife happy life" thing. I have heard that a few times over the pulpit. I have also met many christian wives treat their husbands that way. It's sad really & pathetic. Both spouses should be bringing 100% of themselves to the table in the relationship,and that should leave no room for the kind of nonsense as you described zao.
 
Yes the media portray men to be bumbling passive idiots (Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, Al Bundy, Jack-ass, etc.). I don't know if the whole happy wife happy life thing is untrue or bad necessarily...of course there are women who take advantage and simply are unkind and abusive to their men in this respect. Maybe this is similar to the whole 'whipping' thing I posted a thread about. No one likes a nagging wife, but no one likes a couch potato for a husband while the wife takes care of the children (I know not all men are like this).

All I know is that there are many guys my age who rather play video games then date and find a wife. Has society structured it so we are in early adulthood longer? Most likely. Has society structured it so that woman wear the pants in the home? Most likely. When I see my husband/bf step up and take the lead, that is when I would recede. The good thing is that Christian is counter-cultural in this respect, it says that the man should be the head and I am glad it does.

I don't know if this makes any sense. I'm confused.
 
To be honest, I've never noticed.

In movie and TV couples, I tend to see them making the guy appear more laid-back, funny, slightly inconsiderate, giant kid, impulsive, etc. And the wife is usually made to look like a nagger, complainer, too serious, not as funny, kinda resentful and mean.
I think the media makes them both look equally bad. I don't find family dysfunction very comedic, but Americans seem to keep liking this stuff for whatever reason. *shrug*
It's just TV so I'm not that offended by it usually.

As for the couple counselors looking down on the male thing, I'm not quite sure what you mean? Are you talking about fictional shows or reality?
 
arwen83 said:
Yes the media portray men to be bumbling passive idiots (Homer Simpson, Peter Griffin, Al Bundy, Jack-ass, etc.). I don't know if the whole happy wife happy life thing is untrue or bad necessarily...of course there are women who take advantage and simply are unkind and abusive to their men in this respect. Maybe this is similar to the whole 'whipping' thing I posted a thread about. No one likes a nagging wife, but no one likes a couch potato for a husband while the wife takes care of the children (I know not all men are like this).

All I know is that there are many guys my age who rather play video games then date and find a wife. Has society structured it so we are in early adulthood longer? Most likely. Has society structured it so that woman wear the pants in the home? Most likely. When I see my husband/bf step up and take the lead, that is when I would recede. The good thing is that Christian is counter-cultural in this respect, it says that the man should be the head and I am glad it does.

I don't know if this makes any sense. I'm confused.
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Ya, makes sense to me. Honestly though, I think society gives us a pretty good deal. I can be a couch potatoe, xbox lovin Al Bundy and still have someone to spend with without having to get married or provide for anybody else if I don't feel like it. Nobody is going to get on my case over it. It's too good a deal for me to refuse. That's the problem.....we got it too good. That's just my outlook though. Some guys are like woe is me....life sucks, women get everything and we get crapped on. lol. Maybe it depends on if your an optimist or a pessimist
 
Donkeyfish07 said:
Ya, makes sense to me. Honestly though, I think society gives us a pretty good deal. I can be a couch potatoe, xbox lovin Al Bundy and still have someone to spend with without having to get married or provide for anybody else if I don't feel like it. Nobody is going to get on my case over it. It's too good a deal for me to refuse. That's the problem.....we got it too good. That's just my outlook though. Some guys are like woe is me....life sucks, women get everything and we get crapped on. lol. Maybe it depends on if your an optimist or a pessimist
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Mhmm and meanwhile...
biological-clock.jpg

Bitter much? Yeah probably.
 
So glad I don't care about my biological clock.

Being a crazy cat lady sounds better any day.
 
zaoman32 said:
I got some killer comments from my last Arwen/Jullianna inspired thread, so thank you everyone who offered input! However that lead me to a whole other line of questioning. Do you ever notice how in a lot of movies about married couples the guy is rarely ever right, and the women is never wrong? What's up with that? Or when you go to some marriage seminar or I guess for those who haven't been married, your church does a sermon or series on marriage, they start pulling that Happy Wife Happy Life, or "I was wrong, I apologize, it will never happen again" garbage (in reference to what the husband should say). I thought marriage was an equal partnership? And we are constantly bombarded by, not just shows and movies, but even church and marriage counselers who constantly look down on the male being the stupid know nothing of the marriage. No wonder guys take absolutely no initiative. With many of us having sercurity issues as it is do you really think it's helpful to be even more discouraged by the kinds of teachings that are so widly accepted?

What are your thoughts on this?
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I can' really relate to this. I know I joke about being right and the wrath that came upon me for saying "happy wife happy life" in a thread once, but in all seriousness I don't claim to be right all the time(though I wish I was)

I have been with my guy since November, and last week was the first time he admitted to being wrong. I about fainted.
 
Elizabeth619 said:
I can' really relate to this. I know I joke about being right and the wrath that came upon me for saying "happy wife happy life" in a thread once, but in all seriousness I don't claim to be right all the time(though I wish I was)

I have been with my guy since November, and last week was the first time he admitted to being wrong. I about fainted.
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That reminds me of this time I was givin a dude a ride home from work. He had a coffee mug from home that he brought with him. As he was getting into the car he dropped it and it broke. He was like Dang it.....I'm like oh well, hakuna matata. He's like "No, you don't understand. My wife told me not to take it before I left and said I would end up breaking it, I told her na, it'll be ok. I hate it when she's right and I'm gonna hear all about it when I get home". lol
 
Donkeyfish07 said:
That reminds me of this time I was givin a dude a ride home from work. He had a coffee mug from home that he brought with him. As he was getting into the car he dropped it and it broke. He was like Dang it.....I'm like oh well, hakuna matata. He's like "No, you don't understand. My wife told me not to take it before I left and said I would end up breaking it, I told her na, it'll be ok. I hate it when she's right and I'm gonna hear all about it when I get home". lol
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If a woman is that bad about being right then she has issues.
I want my men to be REAL MEN. Not submitting to me all the time. I like a challenge. Weak men are not challenging. :)
 
Elizabeth619 said:
If a woman is that bad about being right then she has issues.
I want my men to be REAL MEN. Not submitting to me all the time. I like a challenge. Weak men are not challenging. :)
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lol. I know a lot of women that have that issue. It doesn't bother me though. I just nod and go about my business.
 
In movies, the guy always needs the help of a woman's keen common sense and intuition to keep him from making a big mistake or embarrassing himself as he tackles whatever giant challenges he's facing. This keeps the movie interesting because it exposes the hero's deep personal vulnerabilities that only the woman in his life can know about and help him with. It also creates a foundation for a great love scene and blossoming relationship between them.

In television, the guy is more like an average joe with lots of vulnerabilities and shortcomings that his wife has to deal with. This also keeps things interesting because people like to see the humor in stuff they can relate to and/or recognize in others.

In life, the man is the head of the household and is supposed to be the one taking risks and making decisions and the woman is often the one who must point out the flaws in the man's decision-making and so the man ends up looking more like the fool of the two because he is the one who is often being criticized. That's just the way it is. Part of a woman's job is to speak up if she sees a problem with a decision her husband is making, and its the husband's job to make the decisions in the household.
 
Elizabeth619 said:
I can' really relate to this. I know I joke about being right and the wrath that came upon me for saying "happy wife happy life" in a thread once, but in all seriousness I don't claim to be right all the time(though I wish I was)

I have been with my guy since November, and last week was the first time he admitted to being wrong. I about fainted.
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So are you saying it took you from November until now to get him to say he was wrong
 
zeroturbulence said:
In life, the man is the head of the household and is supposed to be the one taking risks and making decisions and the woman is often the one who must point out the flaws in the man's decision-making and so the man ends up looking more like the fool of the two because he is the one who is often being criticized. That's just the way it is. Part of a woman's job is to speak up if she sees a problem with a decision her husband is making, and its the husband's job to make the decisions in the household.
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I was gonna say that. essentially amyway. more with the spin that if the mans wants to be in charge he needs to be able to take the fall too. as in if you can't do the time don't do the crime. not that I see marriage as a sentence.
 
Donkeyfish07 said:
Almost no eggs left in the carton.....lol, I get that :P. It was the whole "meanwhile"......What's that got to do with guys being couch potatoes and playing xbox?
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Cus its a tickin' while there is abundance of men around my age who aren't interested in children yet, and rather play video games and all that. The window is closing, and guys are like 'OOO I'm gonna go buy the new PlayStation!' Meanwhile, there are many beautiful good women waiting for guys to mature and realize 'hmm, I guess its time to settle down now'
 
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When we all stop
Looking to get and start looking to give .. a lot of issues will be resolved :)
 
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