Saving yourself for your future husband

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AmmiAmmiel

Guest
#21
#21
God speaks very sternly against fornication (unsanctified sexual behavior). The concequences are grave. Some even as grave as death. I know this because I have made the commitment and broken it 3 times,.. Each time I knew what I had done was wrong and I suffered for it. The last time nearly cost my life. So I encourage you greatly to spare yourself from the punishments for disobeying God's command to love and honor Him with our bodies.
 
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Nuns_n_roses

Guest
#22
#22
I've been sexually abused and when I hear about waiting I always feel a bit sad that I never had the opportunity to save myself for my spouse. I decided not to have sex again until then though if it counts. I doubt it does though since if I was Jewish I'd have to be married to him... So much guilt. =/

I just posted this for others who have been victims so they know they're not alone. <3
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#23
Oct 15, 2012
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#23
Nuns_n_roses said:
I've been sexually abused and when I hear about waiting I always feel a bit sad that I never had the opportunity to save myself for my spouse. I decided not to have sex again until then though if it counts. I doubt it does though since if I was Jewish I'd have to be married to him... So much guilt. =/

I just posted this for others who have been victims so they know they're not alone. <3
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What happened to you was not your fault. It was not your choice to have that taken away from you. You are precious to God and I know you will still be precious and loved by your future husband, regardless. :)
 
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Nuns_n_roses

Guest
#24
#24
rachelsedge said:
What happened to you was not your fault. It was not your choice to have that taken away from you. You are precious to God and I know you will still be precious and loved by your future husband, regardless. :)
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Thank you. You're too kind. :)

I hope that other believers know that whatever they have in their past, they're cleansed now. Even if they made mistakes in the past or had something forced upon them, we are loved by God and He has delievered us. <3
 
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OceanGrl

Guest
#25
#25
Nuns_n_roses said:
I've been sexually abused and when I hear about waiting I always feel a bit sad that I never had the opportunity to save myself for my spouse. I decided not to have sex again until then though if it counts. I doubt it does though since if I was Jewish I'd have to be married to him... So much guilt. =/

I just posted this for others who have been victims so they know they're not alone. <3
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I wish I could give you a hug, it's very sad that you were abused and know that it wasn't your fault. Your future husband is going to be blessed to have such a wonderful girl and there won't be any guilt or shame because God will have brought you two together.
 
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Nuns_n_roses

Guest
#26
#26
OceanGrl said:
I wish I could give you a hug, it's very sad that you were abused and know that it wasn't your fault. Your future husband is going to be blessed to have such a wonderful girl and there won't be any guilt or shame because God will have brought you two together.
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Thank you! I wondered if a Christian man would even want me. I thought I was just damaged goods and would remain celibate the rest of my life.
I don't want to derail the thread though. I just wanted to bring abuse up for those viewing this who may feel the guilt I do. Anyone who has a similar story... I'm open to a PM dears.

Love you all. <3
 
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Samohito

Guest
#27
#27
i think it's a great commitment. I also made commitment to my self like that, and wish and pray to found my future husband to do the same thing for me. I think we control it if we keep God within our relationship.

just to share my experience; I started to have relationship with guy from outside of my country. On the first time before i accept he become my bf, I say that i have commitment and also my dating style, he says agree and not problem with that. after a few month being relationship with him, he's starting to break the rule, and i never agree for what he want, until finally he got mad on me and says that I don't have sincerely love for him. I've tried to explain and to remind my commitment to him, but he still mad on me, then i decide to leave him and never contact him anymore.

after a month broke up from him, he try to contact me again, and ask to start it again, but i say, I'm worrying the same thing will happen again, so I only want to be your friend. He still mad on me and he says I'm so naive....*sigh*..:(.

I just ignore him and wont to waste my time to talk the guy like that.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#28
#28
Nuns, I hurt for you, I really do. I believe that if you found the right Christian guy, you would find yourself so loved and protected that he would understand. Possibly he would be over-protective of you.
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#29
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
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#29
You are not damaged goods! You did nothing wrong. The insect who abused you is the damaged one. Don't let anyone tell you different! You are so precious to God and He will provide you with someone extra special. x
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#30
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
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#30
Nuns, You are not damaged goods! You did nothing wrong. The insect who abused you is the damaged one. Don't let anyone tell you different! You are so precious to God and He will provide you with someone extra special. x
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#31
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
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#31
So do people who are saving themselves for marriage expect the same? As in is a partners virginity a deal breaker to you all?
 
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Nuns_n_roses

Guest
#32
#32
Tintin said:
Nuns, I hurt for you, I really do. I believe that if you found the right Christian guy, you would find yourself so loved and protected that he would understand. Possibly he would be over-protective of you.
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I hope I find one who is very gentle and understanding with me. Thank you dears. <3

leelee said:
Nuns, You are not damaged goods! You did nothing wrong. The insect who abused you is the damaged one. Don't let anyone tell you different! You are so precious to God and He will provide you with someone extra special. x
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I have forgiven him, but I had to allow myself to be angry with him before I could finally forgive. Everyone thought is was mutual and so my reputation as a good Christian was shattered. That is why I hope that unmarried believers who are not virgins understand that they are just as loved. Jesus has made us all innocent. Love you all darlings~<3
 
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Samohito

Guest
#33
#33
Nuns_n_roses said:
I've been sexually abused and when I hear about waiting I always feel a bit sad that I never had the opportunity to save myself for my spouse. I decided not to have sex again until then though if it counts. I doubt it does though since if I was Jewish I'd have to be married to him... So much guilt. =/

I just posted this for others who have been victims so they know they're not alone. <3
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sorry to hear about that. but i think this is not your fault, I believe God will provide the guy who really love you as the way you are and protect you. You're still precious to God!
 
Christianrkchk89

Christianrkchk89

Senior Member
#34
Aug 27, 2005
1,282
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#34
I expected to find another virgin somehow..which I did.

I don't find it right for a non-virgin to only expect to marry a virgin (which seems to be quite a popular idea these days). But I don't find it crazy for a virgin to want a virgin to marry. After all it's much harder to hold onto virginity these days than it is to find someone to give it to.
 
WhiteWolfOfTheBlackForest

WhiteWolfOfTheBlackForest

Banned
#35
Mar 1, 2013
176
1
0
#35
Nuns_n_roses said:
Thank you! I wondered if a Christian man would even want me. I thought I was just damaged goods and would remain celibate the rest of my life.
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I am sorry that this happened to you, but please, do not ever think this! There is a guy out there who will be blessed to have you as a wife.

You are like an emerald in the tranquil blue waters whence shines and sparkles in the sunlight. Never let the sand cover up your luminous shine.

Wish I could hug you right now :)
 
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HaigCraylett

Guest
#36
#36
First of all Eileanna, you have a beautiful name and AMEN to your decision. Your decision is selfless and I wish more people would treat their virginity like you. It is of course a brilliant choice and the Lord will bless you for it. I lost my virginity when I was about 15. I was with that girl for around 7 - 8 years before meeting my now wife. I wish I'd waited.

Although we are told to honor our mother and father, if it is dishonorable to the Lord we should not do it.
Love in Christ sister
 
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HEstolemyheart

Guest
#37
#37
In a nutshell, i made the same promise, but broke it. repeatedly. my husband was never taught abstinence, but rather "if you aren't laid by 18, there's something wrong". Neither of us were virgins when we married. actually, i was 3 months pregnant when we married. I wish both of us had waited for each other. it brings so many issues and complications. What a gift tobe able to give to each other!
 
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Nuns_n_roses

Guest
#38
#38
WhiteWolfOfTheBlackForest said:
I am sorry that this happened to you, but please, do not ever think this! There is a guy out there who will be blessed to have you as a wife.

You are like an emerald in the tranquil blue waters whence shines and sparkles in the sunlight. Never let the sand cover up your luminous shine.

Wish I could hug you right now :)
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That was beautiful!!! I hope that you write poetry! *hugs you*
 
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WindowShopper

Guest
#39
#39
Right now, thats my stand as well, but I dont know what my attitude will be when I do find someone I want to be with (in a relationship). My brother apparently waited until he and his wife were married, and I can't help feeling that I'll feel guilty if I don't. Not because I'll feel like I've 'let the side down', but because I'll have gone against one of God's commands. I've never told my family this in so many words, but it seems really unfair that ur family dont agree with your choice. It's your life, your decision, and its honourable. Don't let anyone tell you different!
 
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nib

Guest
#40
#40
Nautilus said:
So do people who are saving themselves for marriage expect the same? As in is a partners virginity a deal breaker to you all?
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I'm saving myself for marriage. I wouldn't say that virginity is a deal breaker since I figure everyone has their story. But, I would expect that there would be no sex in any relationship I have until marriage.
 
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