Living with unbeilevers

[nonicknametouse]

Would love to start a new discussion for those of us living with an unbeliever. This is not to be a husband/wife basher discusion, this is how to live with your unbeliving spouse with love according to Gpd's word. If anyone is interested in this please let me know. I don't even know how to start this ,but if any one can help me that would be appreciated. I think there is a need for this. It is to pray, encourage, uplift, give support etc. to one another. Thanks for your support .

 

[isaria]

One horrid thing when living with unbeleivers may be if they ridecule and mock your faith and beliefs.
Also not feeling that union , understanding , bond through/with the christ and sharing values, morals and grounds may be important.
Of course all cultures and beliefs should be able unite and live together and respect each other but sometimes some do not respect you and your faith.
I was often told "only stupid people pray" when I was child.
My soul kept praying and it still does.
I pray many times a day but not with my physical body or a "hands together mode".

If they do not respect you and you have no common grounds and you are being rideculed for believing and bad influencing you so you do not feel good then it a problem.
If you truly have felt deep faith and are strong beleiver you want share it with those close to you and make them "see it" "feel it" "understand it and hopefully see and feel and understand what you do.
Specially if you are strong beleiver and had personal and spiritual experiences of your faith.
Ofcourse you should not forse anyone beleive but temptation you may want try "guide" them or "tell" them or teach them about your beleifs and hope they will "connect" with it and "feel it" and understand it and hopefully get an "Aha" experience.

My clocest and I usually encourage eachother to pray and we also dont neeeeeed to put hands together or even move body in knees if our being is doing it in will for God know all....know a pray is a pray regardless if physical body of ones human body is bowing down or not.

To live with someone who ridecules you praying and mocks you and discourages you may make you feel very bad.

Depends what relationship you have but surely good communicate about it and set boundraries what ok and not ok and if cross your line of what ok is.

I sometimes say to my closest "i pray to see you again soon" and i do.
Sometimes if i hear something exciting happening i say "id pay to see it" .lol.

Im sure one can find common ground communicate what one wants to live like and where one stands and make deals and arrangements.

So one can live in peace together or live separately.
Some houses have seperate "wings".
One for each spouse and maybe another section for the raisin and another section for children and they might have shared kitchen yet have a tiny cheap kitchen top in each of there areas.
lol
so they can have space and peace and yet be close although one can wonder if such a family is happy together or mybe they are , individual.
Some people have a room each on such budget or prefer nanna and grandpapa in home or most common the grandma and pappa cant stand live with family that annoy them and dont clean good enough or cook or keep stadard they keptand there personality may be annoying to them.
Some people like space.
I like cuddles and affection.How horrid im alone eater and living alonesome .
That shall change soon.
Love life.com

Anyway, best wishes for us.

peaceful living in true homes.
and also in our bodies no violation and respect a no is a no.

 

[isaria]

speaking "wings" in living......
Some people have like a tied up wing on one side and it may feel awful and they are forsed into a situation of being with people they dont want live with .
Its energy draining, exhausting, destructive and very bad.
How many years can this wing be tied up?
That is not a real home.
A real home does not do such thing and tie wing up 24/7 so energy stagnant , exhausted, and horrid and workaholic in wing and being give and give but maybe not with physical body and not get return not even love only get tied up and stolen from.

release the wing . com

for real realestate and choice of spouse and choice of whom one wants live with.

 

[DGL]

Currently my wife (until she files for divorce) has rejected God and me as her husband. I believe that a marriage is a covenant but she believes that it's just a contract and even though we are only "legally" married by law/paper she feels that she can do what she wants to do because emotionally and physically we are not married (according to her twisted viewpoint).

I want to follow the will of God and have Him glorified in my life but I won't force her to stay either. I also have all the biblical grounds for divorce but I wont' file, that will be up to her and if she does file I will release her.

In the mean time I keep trying to love her has Christ loved us as when we were sinners with the hope that she will repent to God first and then want to reconcile, but last few weeks the circumstances are pointing into the area of divorce.

This is spiritual warfare at its core, and I may not win the battle but Christ has won the war. I know that if I follow His lead/commands that one day he will bless me, with or with out her and all I can do is to continue to walk in His light and pray for her.

Not sure how this path (divorce) will glorify God but I put my trust in Him alone.

Hope that makes sense and did not dishonor my wife or situation or the Lord.

 

[hattiebod]

Would love to start a new discussion for those of us living with an unbeliever. This is not to be a husband/wife basher discusion, this is how to live with your unbeliving spouse with love according to Gpd's word. If anyone is interested in this please let me know. I don't even know how to start this ,but if any one can help me that would be appreciated. I think there is a need for this. It is to pray, encourage, uplift, give support etc. to one another. Thanks for your support .

Happy to be part of a group to encourage and pray for one another. It's a great idea. <><

 

[nonicknametouse]

As Christians we know that God has some very serious things to say concerning divorce. We also know how much he hates it. He does make one exception and that is infidelity. I am sure you read this already, but this is what the Lord put on my heart. 1 Corinthians 7:12-17. Yes this is spiritual warfare.The enemy wants to destroy what the Lord brought together. Did you seek counciling from your Pastor. Do you have a mentor and a prayer partner. What specific prayer do you need in this situation. I think the way to continue to Glorify God is to not let your circumstance stop you from praise and worship. Continue to live a Godly life with joy in your heart. God always has something he wants us to learn in these situations and we may not realize it for a while and then it hits us . Oh, that is what the Lord wanted me to learn. Well brother don't wanna write a book. Remember God loves you. I am sorry you are going through this difficult time. Everything is for a season. Please keep me up dated on your progress.

 

[nonicknametouse]

Thank you. Unfortunely there are many sisters and brothers out there who need support and guidence in this situation. They are spiritually lonley and need to know they are not alone. I pray that this will be a place for all to come for prayer and know they are loved. Some have no place to go. I would appreciate any prayer concerning this site, that the Lord can use me to council those who respond. Thank you so much and God bless you.

 

[hootowl]

Hi everybody

I am new here and I am not a christian. I felt I would like to put a few words in to the person who is living with an unbeliever.

I think a person can live with an unbeliever as long as both beliefs are respected. If your partner only eats certain foods for their faith give them what makes them happy. They wish to go to church do not stop them. Support them in anyway you can.
And in turn you do not push your beliefs at them.

My family all made their own choices and are respected for what they believe, admitted I would not wish them to join a cult of any sort.

Myself I believe in the law of the soul. Where the trouble begins is some people have controlling and bad souls.

Remember you should make sure of these things before you marry. I honestly think people getting married should undergo some sort of course first. They sit alone and write their guidelines for what they both can except and this means sexually too. Those guide lines should be cemented firmer than your marriage vows. Never to be stepped over

Do not ever marry thinking your going to change the other person it will not happen it will only drive them underground and that is when the lying and deception starts and trust is torn to pieces.

You know how I know this, I will tell you, I have had to walk more paths than anyone should be expected to walk in one lifetime.

In life we all make mistakes and hopefully learn by them with a bad mistakes sometimes there is no time left to learn or remember.

I read with interest again the post stating that God does not forgive infidelity. When you marry within the eyes of God or anybody else it is a contract break the contract and the other partner is morally free to forgive or move on.
Infidelity is in the mind as well as in the body because it causes disloyalty to your partner.

After saying all that give me my freedom anytime lol.

Take care

 

[hattiebod]

Just thought I would post a wee thought...firstly, in reply to Hootowl, Christianity, Bible Believing Christianity is not a cult...but maybe I am being overly sensitive and miss understood, in which case I apologise. Many of us marry as unbelievers and then one of us is saved. Thats my situation. I am blessed though in a marriage that is happier than it was before I was saved. That is how it ought to be? I am less vengeful, materialistic, less aggressive, less selfish...less nit-picky!! I fully depend on the Lord and when I do behave un kindly, or not in line with my Saviours teachings...well I am called to remember and repent. The wonderful thing is that although my darling husband is not saved YET, he does say our marriage is better than it ever was...and thats because of Christ in me. Not due to me in any way. I have to have and exhibit self control, not to ram my faith down his throat. My faith is not in how I speak, but in how I act. We are to show what and who we believe in, by the way we walk, 24/7. It is not an easy road but I also think I am blessed doubly. I have to remain focused and when things slip, I have no one to blame or to join me in my complacency. I am continually prompted by the Spirit though...and I know all will be well. One day. God Bless <><

 

[nonicknametouse]

Hi, God wants us to make a life long commitment to each other, because His word says that the two shall be as one. His word also tells us to keep the mariage bed Holy. It is very important to Him. We make a vow to each other and a vow to Him. The problem with marrying an unbeliever is thet it affects every part of your life. Some people are saved after they are married, it can cause a problem because your values and priorities change. If you are saved and marry an unbeliever then you suffer the consequences of walking in disobedience to what the Lord commands. God is not the head of the household as He should be. Gods word says do not yoke an oxen and a mule together. They will both have different goals, which will distract each of them from acomplishing anything. It may be in Proverbs, not sure. Christianity is not a cult, it is a relationship with the Almighty God, Creator of the universe, Creator of all things. If you are not a christian then I don't expect you to understand this. If you are not saved you do not have the Holy Spirit in you, so you will not be able to understand spiritual things. Gods word not mine. I will pray for your salvation so you can understand and be a part of God's family. Well Hootowl have a blessd day.

 

[hattiebod]

I think this is a valuable thread for those of us who are living with un-saved husbands. There could also be those women who are living with a husband whose love for the Lord has grown cold, or perhaps is just not in any way living a visible Christian life. Especially tough when there are children involved and also the whole 'obedience' to the head of the household... I would imagine that would be harder than living with an unsaved (but tolerant) man, I mean at least i do not live with hypocrisy!!
<><

 

[piper27]

Hi everybody


I read with interest again the post stating that God does not forgive infidelity. When you marry within the eyes of God or anybody else it is a contract break the contract and the other partner is morally free to forgive or move on.
Infidelity is in the mind as well as in the body because it causes disloyalty to your partner.

After saying all that give me my freedom anytime lol.

Take care

I appreciate your whole post, you are very well spoken. I respect your position.
I just wanted to point out that no where does God say he does not forgive infidelity, its merely a biblical reason for divorce.
If you follow the trail far enough within the bible, it ends up at hardness of heart/infidelity.
It really refers to an unfaithfulness to Him.

You are absolutely right when you state infidelity is in the mind as well as in the body. Its a much bigger issue than a sexual act, most don't understand it biblically.
Thank you for your thoughts on this.


Thats all.

 

[VikkiKate89]

My husband and I have different religious views and... it's not an issue. Ever. We respect our different beliefs and we don't try to convert each other because we recognize that we're both intelligent adults that decided in the paths we did because we felt they were right for us and we are fully capable of changing our minds if we ever feel we need to, we don't need someone nagging at us, trying convince us that they know what's best for us, better than we do.

 

[SeanS]

My husband and I have different religious views and... it's not an issue. Ever. We respect our different beliefs and we don't try to convert each other because we recognize that we're both intelligent adults that decided in the paths we did because we felt they were right for us and we are fully capable of changing our minds if we ever feel we need to, we don't need someone nagging at us, trying convince us that they know what's best for us, better than we do.

Hmmmm

If you truley believed in Jesus Christ,
and truley believed that faith in him was the only way to avoid hell (Acts 4:12),
and truley believed that faith can only come by hearing the word of God (Romans 10:17),
and truley loved your husband (1 Corinthians 13:7),
you would not be able to help yourself but try to convince him (Jeremiah 20:9).

Please question wether the four above assumptions are all true as if even one is not, it is very important that you address the issue it raises.

Acts 4:12- For there is salvation in no one else, for their is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.

Romans 10:17- So faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ

1 Corinthians 13:7- .....Love always protects

Jeremah 20:9- His word is like a dire shut up in my bones and I am wary of holding it in, I cannot endure it

 

[dashadow]

I don't want to say my wife isn't a believer, but she just doesn't believe the way I do. I think part of the problem is how we were raised. I was raised Baptist and became non-denominational. She was raised Catholic and became self-righteous, self-serving heathen. That may have been too harsh. Drop the "heathen" part. I think I may need some group therapy. Please pray for me.

 

[dashadow]

Currently my wife (until she files for divorce) has rejected God and me as her husband. I believe that a marriage is a covenant but she believes that it's just a contract and even though we are only "legally" married by law/paper she feels that she can do what she wants to do because emotionally and physically we are not married (according to her twisted viewpoint).

I want to follow the will of God and have Him glorified in my life but I won't force her to stay either. I also have all the biblical grounds for divorce but I wont' file, that will be up to her and if she does file I will release her.

In the mean time I keep trying to love her has Christ loved us as when we were sinners with the hope that she will repent to God first and then want to reconcile, but last few weeks the circumstances are pointing into the area of divorce.

This is spiritual warfare at its core, and I may not win the battle but Christ has won the war. I know that if I follow His lead/commands that one day he will bless me, with or with out her and all I can do is to continue to walk in His light and pray for her.

Not sure how this path (divorce) will glorify God but I put my trust in Him alone.

Hope that makes sense and did not dishonor my wife or situation or the Lord.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I should follow your lead and be more humble, putting my trust in God as you do. Thanks for sharing and may God comfort and guide you through this difficult process. God Bless!

 

[rite1010]

I like what you said because the Bible does address women in your situation I believe in first Peter. Women sometimes must be the spiritual leader either because they were christian and the man wasnt before the marriage or because she comes to christ after the marriage. It says that the husband will see Christ through his wife's actions and he will come to know Christ's love for him through her.

 

[chuinchoy]

In the first place, the bible says you MUST NOT be unequally yoke with an unbeliever.

 

[SeekingJC]

1 Cor 7:12-16
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?


I am in a similar situation and this gave me great comfort. Hope it will help a bit.
God Bless!

 

[hattiebod]

Hmmmm

If you truley believed in Jesus Christ,
and truley believed that faith in him was the only way to avoid hell (Acts 4:12),
and truley believed that faith can only come by hearing the word of God (Romans 10:17),
and truley loved your husband (1 Corinthians 13:7),
you would not be able to help yourself but try to convince him (Jeremiah 20:9).

Please question wether the four above assumptions are all true as if even one is not, it is very important that you address the issue it raises.

Acts 4:12- For there is salvation in no one else, for their is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.

Romans 10:17- So faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ

1 Corinthians 13:7- .....Love always protects

Jeremah 20:9- His word is like a dire shut up in my bones and I am wary of holding it in, I cannot endure it

It is really hard to live with a non believer, especially when you love them so very much...and you know where they are going to go if they do not believe...but, i remember a woman saying to me one day, not long after I was saved, she said I'd not be able to live with my husband for long as he was with in league with the devil..Nice lady I married my DH 29 years ago (anniversary on last Sunday and we were not believers. Then i was saved. Yes, its a challenge but the sure way to divorce would be to bash him in self righteousness. Our marriage is stronger than ever, he asks me questions, we discuss...will he come to know the Lord? Yes. I believe he will because God knows the desires of my heart. It may be at the last minute...I may have to die with dignity and be used showing an shakable faith, God will strengthen me to continue to be the best witness I can be...who knows? God does. We got married, despite the odds, we remain married and have a strong marriage. DH is a good man, i know thats not enough but it's a good start. He does not believe but he does respect and i was just the same 13 years ago. We are called to be wise as serpents and gentle as doves. My families salvation is one of THE most important things in my life but I know its God who is the creator and the sustainer of our faith...not us. There is more than 'one' way to convince, its how we walk thats much more powerful...anyone can talk God Bless. <><