The heart of a woman

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Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
We have had discussions in this forum as to how scripture teaches men and women to deal with one another in relationships that will lead to lasting marriages. A few weeks ago we discussed how important it is to a man to feel respected by his lady. We've also shared scriptural instruction for a man to cherish the woman entrusted to him by the Lord, but I don't know that we have ever discussed why this is so important.

A godly woman can endure tremendous difficulties and hardships, but her purpose in doing so is most always love. No matter how resilient she may appear to be, her heart is extremely fragile. Wise is the man who sees this as the Lord does, and handles her heart with care. If she knows she can trust him with her heart, she will allow him to keep it. If not, she will take it back.

Men are driven. They are competitive. They want to win. They are logical. They are problem solvers. While a woman may share these things in measure, her heart is the core of her being. This is why men are so frustrated when they argue with a woman. Men are trying to make points that will "win" the argument. A woman is usually not really interested in "winning" an argument with her man. She wants to get to the part where she can see the love he has for her. If you want to "win" an argument with the woman you love, state your case, stick to your guns, but, most of all, help her understand how your position is showing love toward her. Let it be less about "winning" and more about growing closer to one another. THAT is how you both win.

"Man's love is of man's life a thing apart, 'tis woman's whole existence." - Lord Byron
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#2
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
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#2
Totally and I think it is also worth reminding that God has all these traits! He made both man and woman in His image, to show different aspects of Him.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#3
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#3
Some women just want to safely get to the part where the man buys things for her and funds her expeditionary shopping adventures. But the good ones want to know if their man loves them :)
 
shae0104

shae0104

Banned
#4
Jun 21, 2011
545
7
0
#4
smart ladies however I like to win!
 
A

AmmiAmmiel

Guest
#5
#5
Notice how Julianna said "a godly woman". Lets not get off topic here. This is a serious matter for many people. I feel as though the way Julianna described the heart of a godly woman, is also how the heart of a godly man should be.

I speak for myself when I say I possess the traits explained by Julianna as it pertains to a "godly" woman's heart. Though I am a man, my heart is extreme fragile when it comes to love. It is also resilient and reserved. But I nevertheless would treat a woman that I loved the same way I need to be treated[:
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#6
#6
A woman's heart is the most valuable thing about her. A woman's heart is fragile, beautiful, and if your going to touch a woman in that special place you better appreciate it and never take it for granted. It really is an honor. I love women so much myself, just being in the right woman's presence....having a good time.....the chase, the first kiss....I thank God for making it possible because it's such an amazing experience to have. It's what I enjoy most about life.

That being said.....Guys aren't complete idiots when it comes to the subtle "tests" that women throw at us to find out what our feelings are and how much we care. Most guys that understand things at that level view at as manipulation ( "Game" is another word for it). We can never let you assume a dominant position over us, we can't grant you any significant level of control while respecting your feelings, and we have to balance that with proper love and affection. Have to call you out and put our foot down at the right moments, have to be sensitive and caring at critical points. It's really difficult to balance all that stuff out.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#7
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#7
Jullianna said:
A godly woman can endure tremendous difficulties and hardships, but her purpose in doing so is most always love. No matter how resilient she may appear to be, her heart is extremely fragile. Wise is the man who sees this as the Lord does, and handles her heart with care. If she knows she can trust him with her heart, she will allow him to keep it. If not, she will take it back.
Click to expand...
Or she may just not give it to him...Sometimes I think I clutch my heart too tightly to myself. A good and a bad thing.
 
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kayem77

Guest
#8
#8
We just want romance, not necessarily a guy proposing in the middle of a Yankees game, or at Disneyland with a flash mob. We just wanna know you care. And someone correct me if I'm wrong....don't guys want the same? I wanna believe that winning is not on the top of the list when it comes to ''what he values the most''.

Good thread Julliana. As much as I don't like the idea sometimes, our hearts are fragile, and this fragility is the one that causes some of us to harden our hearts when too much damage has been done. Willingness to regain our hearts' ''innocence'' when it is broken and crushed is an art we must master, or else we will grow bitter and end up living with 128 and a half cats all by ourselves.
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#9
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
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#9
I think the way a woman's heart should be cared for can be generalized, but then again, it can't. I was praying about something similar to this last night. Meaning the way I wanted to be cared for and the type of man I wanted to care for me. I realized that I don't know anyone besides Christ who fits that bill. No man will be able to care for me perfectly, but I do look forward to meeting a man who is able.
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#10
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
0
#10
Note to self: if I want to win an argument, I'll pack a rose.

Perfect!
 
SeanS

SeanS

Banned
#11
Jan 14, 2013
124
0
0
#11
Jullianna said:
We have had discussions in this forum as to how scripture teaches men and women to deal with one another in relationships that will lead to lasting marriages. A few weeks ago we discussed how important it is to a man to feel respected by his lady. We've also shared scriptural instruction for a man to cherish the woman entrusted to him by the Lord, but I don't know that we have ever discussed why this is so important.

A godly woman can endure tremendous difficulties and hardships, but her purpose in doing so is most always love. No matter how resilient she may appear to be, her heart is extremely fragile. Wise is the man who sees this as the Lord does, and handles her heart with care. If she knows she can trust him with her heart, she will allow him to keep it. If not, she will take it back.

Men are driven. They are competitive. They want to win. They are logical. They are problem solvers. While a woman may share these things in measure, her heart is the core of her being. This is why men are so frustrated when they argue with a woman. Men are trying to make points that will "win" the argument. A woman is usually not really interested in "winning" an argument with her man. She wants to get to the part where she can see the love he has for her. If you want to "win" an argument with the woman you love, state your case, stick to your guns, but, most of all, help her understand how your position is showing love toward her. Let it be less about "winning" and more about growing closer to one another. THAT is how you both win.

"Man's love is of man's life a thing apart, 'tis woman's whole existence." - Lord Byron
Click to expand...
Lol this is incredibly true

I believe the most fundamental characteristic of femininity is 'that which seeks security'

And the most fundamental characteristic of masculinity is 'that which seeks risk'

And i agree, appeals that hit home most to women (in general) are those that involve some emotion

And appeals that hit home most to men (in general) are those that are primarily logical

And the great thing is, our God and his instructions are filled with both. The balance of emotion/logic can be found in so much of scripture for example:

1 John 4:10- 'In this is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son to be the propitiation for our sins'
 
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BarlyGurl

Guest
#12
#12
>>>...the most fundamental characteristic of femininity is 'that which seeks security'<<<

.....BINGO!!
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#13
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#13
[video=youtube;dmHcDWrMH-8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmHcDWrMH-8[/video]
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#14
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
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#14
BarlyGurl said:
>>>...the most fundamental characteristic of femininity is 'that which seeks security'<<<

.....BINGO!!
Click to expand...

We seek security in all things, especially when it comes to emotions. Barly, did we just agree on something?! :)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#15
Aug 2, 2009
24,601
4,272
113
#15
Jullianna said:
We have had discussions in this forum as to how scripture teaches men and women to deal with one another in relationships that will lead to lasting marriages. A few weeks ago we discussed how important it is to a man to feel respected by his lady. We've also shared scriptural instruction for a man to cherish the woman entrusted to him by the Lord, but I don't know that we have ever discussed why this is so important.

A godly woman can endure tremendous difficulties and hardships, but her purpose in doing so is most always love. No matter how resilient she may appear to be, her heart is extremely fragile. Wise is the man who sees this as the Lord does, and handles her heart with care. If she knows she can trust him with her heart, she will allow him to keep it. If not, she will take it back.

Men are driven. They are competitive. They want to win. They are logical. They are problem solvers. While a woman may share these things in measure, her heart is the core of her being. This is why men are so frustrated when they argue with a woman. Men are trying to make points that will "win" the argument. A woman is usually not really interested in "winning" an argument with her man. She wants to get to the part where she can see the love he has for her. If you want to "win" an argument with the woman you love, state your case, stick to your guns, but, most of all, help her understand how your position is showing love toward her. Let it be less about "winning" and more about growing closer to one another. THAT is how you both win.

"Man's love is of man's life a thing apart, 'tis woman's whole existence." - Lord Byron
Click to expand...
If this is true then why do women almost always fall for the bad boy type, and put the nice guys that try to always show her she's loved in the friend zone? :p
 
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NukePooch

Guest
#16
#16
zeroturbulence said:
If this is true then why do women almost always fall for the bad boy type, and put the nice guys that try to always show her she's loved in the friend zone? :p
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What I've found is that it takes a bit of time for everyone to 'grow up'. For instance, I used to want a professional, prestigious, white-collar-type job. What has taken me until this point in my life is that I need tangible, real, honest proof of accomplishment every single day. Pushing paper around in a office job never gave that sense that I was accomplishing anything, yet now, in the job I have, I can easily see what I've accomplished. (I drive heavy equipment and move huge piles of scrap steel and aluminum to be recycled...every single day I can easily see what I've accomplished.)

I think it's the same with relationships. I think a lot of women might go for the type of guy who'll sweep her off of her feet and carry her off into the sunset...then one day she might realize that she's tired of always being carried off to some new sunset in some far away place, when what she really needs is someone who will just be with her where she's at right now.

Some women may want a bad boy, and will continue to seek out 'bad boy excitement' right up until they realize that they are tired of 'bad boy hysterics and selfish child-like behavior'.

However, some people never learn and never grow up. They never stop holding their breath and stamping their feet because they want want want.
 
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Relena7

Guest
#17
#17
zeroturbulence said:
If this is true then why do women almost always fall for the bad boy type, and put the nice guys that try to always show her she's loved in the friend zone? :p
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I guess for the same reason people eat junk food.

We like what is bad for us sometimes, because, er.... it's deliciously fattening. Yeah this post sounded more brilliant in my head.

*Is not a morning person* :p


P.S. I never liked "bad boy" types.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#18
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#18
Jullianna said:
We have had discussions in this forum as to how scripture teaches men and women to deal with one another in relationships that will lead to lasting marriages. A few weeks ago we discussed how important it is to a man to feel respected by his lady. We've also shared scriptural instruction for a man to cherish the woman entrusted to him by the Lord, but I don't know that we have ever discussed why this is so important.

A godly woman can endure tremendous difficulties and hardships, but her purpose in doing so is most always love. No matter how resilient she may appear to be, her heart is extremely fragile. Wise is the man who sees this as the Lord does, and handles her heart with care. If she knows she can trust him with her heart, she will allow him to keep it. If not, she will take it back.
Click to expand...
The same could be said of men about the fragility of the heart. There is a reason why some guys seem so thick-skinned and untouchable. The thicker the skin, the more fragile the heart. Whether or not we want to admit it, trusting another with our hearts can be a very difficult thing to do, especially after it's been broken once or twice. I think when it comes to the fragility of the heart, the only difference is that women cry outwardly, while men cry on the inside.
 
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BarlyGurl

Guest
#19
#19
zeroturbulence said:
If this is true then why do women almost always fall for the bad boy type, and put the nice guys that try to always show her she's loved in the friend zone? :p
Click to expand...
2) reasons... a) she isn't saved or she is following her sin nature... rebellion and "to rule over".... nice guy presents absolutely no challenge and provokes no "drive" for those two causes of attraction. b) bad boys "show" more masculine trait in behaviour... risk taker, leadership, self sufficiency (tho it is often not qenuine)... etc... than the "friend-type guy" and honestly I do not know any women who later didn't regret losing "friend guy" for their lack of interest in a more serious relationship.
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#20
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#20
People will accept the love they think they deserve. For instance, you have people who will push others away because they think they are too messed up to love, or those who will find people who will leave them at a certain point in the relationship, or who will abuse them, etc. It's the same reason many of us struggle with the love of God. We know we don't deserve it and often times will reject the fullness of it.


And Zero, men and women friend zone each other. Especially if they're scared of having a legitimate relationship. More often than not people will choose the devil they know before they'll choose the devil they don't.
 
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