Lovesong Poetry

[Wolf]

Hows life? Well...I feel like a Jenga game set, where a block's been pulled out from me, and I've crumbled to pieces.
That's how life feels anyway, I feel like a burden to everyone, and a failure in more ways than one, but I people around me who care about me tell me to keep going. At first I was doing nothing because I was so depressed and down, couldn't find meaning to anything anymore. I didn't have a reason to live.

My family told me I didn't have to do anything, just be there. So I did, I was just there. Slowly I built myself up again. Helping my family with their church ministry. I decided to buy an piano lesson app, so I am learning the piano now.
I really enjoy playing the keyboard, I also have a drum set, but I'll wait till I learn some church songs on the piano before I get to the drum set. I'm excited to do worship for this ministry. The song I am currently mastering is "La Spagnola" I think that is my favorite song now. XD

I'm taking life a little bit at a time, I don't know why It's taken me so long to 'try' these things, oh well, its never too late to
learn new things. My situation is still the same, but only I am getting a little more confidence in caring about my life and what I do with it. I never use to care before. Still hurting, and lonely,
but I'm learning to draw on God's love which gives me confidence, and strength, when I feel rejected, which is constantly, then God makes me feel accepted,

I think the best part of that is if the whole world hated me, it wouldn't matter, just as long as God accepted me, I really feel accepted, and that makes me want to live.

Anyway, How is life for you, Siberian?

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

That-a-girl! I take it that you're man is no longer around...?

I'm just happy you still grace us with your presence and poems. The "whole world" will never hate you, because Poppers and I will never hate you.

Besides: "The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it that its works are evil."

 

[Wolf]

That-a-girl! I take it that you're man is no longer around...?

I'm just happy you still grace us with your presence and poems. The "whole world" will never hate you, because Poppers and I will never hate you.

Besides: "The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it that its works are evil."

Well, he's slowly starting to leave me alone, and let me go, he still holds on, from time to time though >.....>. Which is kind of heartbreaking in a way. I always knew that would happen, it was just one of those things that was inevitably going to happen. The bible is true that way, it says we can't be unequally yoked with unbelievers, and this is the reason why...because it always ends up this way. It's to save us from this heartbreak.

I feel stupid for crying though. I just don't understand any of this. This isn't really a testimony for me, I know God saved me and my eyes are open which is a testimony, my heart is still broken and I am still crushed honestly.

aww you and Popclick will always be my friends, *hugs til your eyes bug out*

I'm beginning to embrace the love of God, which is terrifying for me, but at least I know how to reach out and accept God's love now.. thanks to him..

 

[Wolf]

This sounds about right for me..

Your Hands
Lyrics by: JJ Heller

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands

[video=youtube_share;FlL8LayF0uw]http://youtu.be/FlL8LayF0uw[/video]​

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I'm moving through some changes
I'll never be the same
Something you did touched me
There's no one else to blame

The love we had has fallen
The love we used to share
We've given up pretending
As if you didn't care

Change changing places
Root yourself to the ground
Capitalize on this good fortune
One word can bring you round
Changes

I look into the mirror
I see no happiness
All the warmth I gave you
Has turned to emptiness
The love we had has fallen
The love we used to share
You've left me here believing
In love that wasn't there

Change changing places
Root yourself to the ground
Word to the wise - Well you get what's coming
One word can bring you round
Changes

When I look into your eyes and try to find out how
There's no way to save it now
And everything I feel
Changes
Keep looking for
Changes
Changes

For some reason you're questioning why
I always believe it gets better
One difference between you and I
Your heart is inside your head

One word from you
One word from me
A clear design on your liberty
Who could believe when love has gone
How we move on like everyone

Only such fools
Only such jealous hearts

Only through love changes come

Change changing places
Root yourself to the ground
Capitalize on this good fortune
One word can bring you round
Changes

One road to loneliness
It's always the same
One road to happiness
It's calling your name

Change changing places - Changes
Root yourself to the ground
Capitalize on this good fortune
One word can bring you round
Changes

Change changing places
Changes
Root yourself to the ground
Word to the wise - Well you get what's coming
One word - One word can bring you round
Changes

 

[Wolf]

I'm moving through some changes
I'll never be the same
Something you did touched me
There's no one else to blame

The love we had has fallen
The love we used to share
We've given up pretending
As if you didn't care

Change changing places
Root yourself to the ground
Capitalize on this good fortune
One word can bring you round
Changes

I look into the mirror
I see no happiness
All the warmth I gave you
Has turned to emptiness
The love we had has fallen
The love we used to share
You've left me here believing
In love that wasn't there

Change changing places
Root yourself to the ground
Word to the wise - Well you get what's coming
One word can bring you round
Changes

When I look into your eyes and try to find out how
There's no way to save it now
And everything I feel
Changes
Keep looking for
Changes
Changes

For some reason you're questioning why
I always believe it gets better
One difference between you and I
Your heart is inside your head

One word from you
One word from me
A clear design on your liberty
Who could believe when love has gone
How we move on like everyone

Only such fools
Only such jealous hearts

Only through love changes come

Change changing places
Root yourself to the ground
Capitalize on this good fortune
One word can bring you round
Changes

One road to loneliness
It's always the same
One road to happiness
It's calling your name

Change changing places - Changes
Root yourself to the ground
Capitalize on this good fortune
One word can bring you round
Changes

Change changing places
Changes
Root yourself to the ground
Word to the wise - Well you get what's coming
One word - One word can bring you round
Changes

well that song says it all,
can't argue with right.

 

[Wolf]

enough to move on

Strong Enough
By: Lowanla (me)

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm need you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough, yeah

And I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

[video=youtube_share;bvCxNqIuxhA]http://youtu.be/bvCxNqIuxhA[/video]​

 

[Wolf]

Worth
By: Lowanla (me)


If I ever had a choice,
I choose to wait for the man
who would meet me face to face,
he would not care about anything,
he would rush to be by my side right away,
in fact, this man would love me so much
that he would be calling me almost everyday.
When I needed to be defended from the worlds cruelty,
this man would love me so much, he would fight for me.

This man would bring me flowers, and candy,
he would do things just so that I could see,
he would do it because he saw me as worth something,
not for the sake of the worlds gimmicky dramatic entertaining,
where I was just a project to him to prove to the world
that love is not real, then when it ended like the others,
who were left broken, and treated like nothing.
Somehow you came out the hero, while they were broken.
You certainly don't sound like love to me..
Just a petty selfish, Selfish, Selfish, selfish! person..

This man would not steal from me, he would not
do things that he knew would hurt me, he
would be a believer in love just like me.
Most of all he would not be afraid to just be seen with me.
He would give me life, instead of taking it from me.
He would have a compassionate heart of understanding.


I don't ask for much, but I ask for that man,
I want that Christian man, who's sold out for Christ,
who seen me as God seen me, worth something.
He would make me feel as if I deserved, and I was worth.


Bite your tongue, you'll never know the things
I have held back from all this time, all the tears fallen,
all the loneliness hidden, so you could remain hidden,
you kept me hidden in shame, and humiliation,
only taking from me what you needed, you used me,
and you never have given back to me,
you only stole from me, and you destroyed me,
because of your witchcraft, it drained me of all my dreams...
I can't focus, I can't think, because you are always there,
taking, taking, taking from me!

but It was God who kept me alive, and breathing.
I have bore your fears, your sorrows, your agony.
While you have grasped hold of my peace.

I have defended what little tiny bit of love you have
given me, I have fought for your life to God,
that he would spare your life many times,
every day I would cry, and pray for you,
I choose God's mercy over being with you,
because if I chose you, then there would be
no hope if I was with you,
it could have destroyed you, and I would
have rather been without you, and you have a chance
then to to have you without a chance.

You,
have nothing that I want,
you have nothing to give to me,
but your false promises, and lies
just to keep me holding on to nothing!

I have never needed you, but you have needed me.

everything you do has been for your own benefit,
you can't even say my name to the world,
and you claim that you love me? HA!
Don't make me laugh, because you can't
hold a candle against me!

I am worth more than what you will ever give me,
because I am me, not because I am who you want me to be,
I am worth something because my father God loves me.


I am worth something!

What is that you say...?
Speak up...

I can't hear anything...​

 

[Wolf]

For all the things I have sacrificed over this relationship, for
keeping my peace when I should have said these things to you
in the first place.
for giving up my future more than three times for you,
for almost killing myself over you, and dying because of you,
and you would have let me...
for everything you have ever stole from me,
so that you could have your spectacle,
For making me feel worthless constantly,
for the world comparing me to your past,
every woman you have ever been with,
...and you let them.

...at Least they got to hold your hand...
I was never good enough to be seen with you..

don't you ever tell me I never loved.

stay the Hell away from me..

I know more about Love and my actions will always prove it,

so yes, I don't want to be with you, ungrateful...

break up is relief

 

[Wolf]

I feel like this right now...
severely confused, hurt, messed with, lost,
why do you play these games,
just to keep and hurt me,
you don't even want to be with me..

I really wish I didn't exist...

 

[Wolf]

why hold on to me
if you don't want to be with me?
clearly, love is all just a joke to you..


​

 

[Wolf]

I tried to make the most out of
the worst relationship in the world.
Because you insisted I was somebody I am not.
To be honest I was never happy with you.
I tried to make this look like a blessing.
Even when it was destroying me.
you never made me feel loved,
Since the beginning you made me feel like nothing.
...I just wanted to be free.
There were times I lost my mind and said cruel things.
You never gave me dignity nor have I ever felt integrity.
you just made me feel like I wasn't worth living that I should die,
you made me feel this worthless all the time.
You were never love to me, just cruelty...

​

 

[Wolf]

You are meant to be with...
by: Lowanla (me)

There is a special woman out there
Who is perfect, meant for you.
that woman is not me,
You see,
She will be as beautiful as a model,
perfect as can be, the world will love this woman,
her fame will be beyond nobility.
She will be well spoken,
She will be a viper like you, perfect for you.
Rejoice! That the woman for you is not me.

If we were never happy now,
we will never be happy then,
Happiness comes through humility,
being humble

I have a feeling there is a man out there for me...
with whom will give me life
make me happy.
​

 

[Wolf]

I will not come to see you,
it is not for me anyway as I have
said, but for what will benefit you.

I don't have to explain why, I don't want to.

It is over,
no matter how much you come around,
It is over.
I will say it, over and over
I want it to be over,
I want to move on,
i use to be stupid and think with my heart, but
you constantly broke my heart,
so now I think with my head,
I think this is better for my heart.

It is over.
Let that settle in your mind,
I don't want to fix this anymore,


It is over
There is no more us.


It is over.​

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I empathize with your struggle, lovesong...

 

[Wolf]

I empathize with your struggle, lovesong...

Well thanks, that's very nice of you to say.

 

[Wolf]

Justice is coming,

I watched as the Lamb opened the first of the seven seals. Then I heard one of the four living creatures say in a voice like thunder, “Come!” 2I looked, and there before me was a white horse! Its rider held a bow, and he was given a crown, and he rode out as a conqueror bent on conquest

Revelation 6​

 

[Wolf]

I absolutely love this song, and my favorite band,
I imagine this song is the exact feeling I will have
when I see King Jesus returning in the clouds.

I am ready to go home...

[video=youtube_share;AKkAqVAZM1A]http://youtu.be/AKkAqVAZM1A[/video]

Magnificent God
Lyrics by: Big Daddy Weave

When darkness clouds the day
When we are afraid
You are there

When trouble closes in
It's hard to trust again
You are there

And we fix our eyes on You
Our hope is found in You

You are Glorious, Almighty
Infinite and Holy
Gracious, Full of Mercy
Love without an end
Magnificent God, Magnificent God

Our hearts are full of wonder
Captured by Your beauty
Falling on our knees we worship You alone
Magnificent God, We bow before all You are

Gathered in this place to glorify Your Name
You are here

Your Presence is revealed as hearts are being healed
You are here

And we lift our eyes to You
Our hope is found in You​

 

[Wolf]

Get Over It
by: Lowanla (me)

Love,
more than just a name,
some use it for personal gain,
some abuse it turning it to game,
transforming the meaning of beauty to vulgarity,
Just to get their way..

and in this corrupted day,
for these things,
why are they being praised?

Over it, I'll get over it
I will find my way,
Love is just beyond this mountain,
that has been standing in my way,
I'm going to get over it.

It is over,
there is nothing more to say,
I was just a big joke to you,
you kept me waiting for nothing.
So cold I shall become,
and save all of my energy,
I don't mind waiting for
the new love that is meant for me.

Over it, I'll get over it
I will find my way,
Love is just beyond this mountain,
that has been standing in my way,
I'm going to get over it.

I'll fight for the faceless man,
who stands there with flowers in hand,
waiting for destiny,
and when he see's me he will run to me,
I don't mind waiting for
the new love that is meant for me.

Get over it, I will get over it

Love is just beyond this mountain
that has been standing in my way
I will put the past, and pain behind me,
The love of God will be my strength,
and with his might and power

I'm going to get over this..​

 

[Wolf]

do I have a life? I did..
by: Lowanla (me)

do have a life..?
Let me think...
I was on my way toward
working toward a good one.
A GREAT CAREER..
now most of that is my fault,
for not being heart hardened enough
to have no compassion at all..
should have went after that first, and
decided not to care at all..
..but I was so stupid and naive, to
believe in empty promises..
and let you happen to me..
I really wish I didn't care now..
I really wasted my time.
You should have left me alone,
I was doing good without you.
I did not need you to come save me.

I told you, I don't want to fix what we had,
its getting worse every day anyway,
even when you cry around,
I just want to cut you off from me,
however you are doing this,

how things are going now,
show's me how much you think of me,
how much I am worth to you.

lets see, you are not here,
wow, no one...

well that tells me,
you think NOTHING of me.

you can't make any excuse,
because you are a liar, and a leech.

Just let me go, leave me alone,
be with someone as flaky, and afraid as you.

I am making a life, and I love where I am at,
I am happy, I don't need anyone to try and
tell me how I should live my life,
mind your own nosy business.

The proof is in the now...
not in empty promises.

I am happier where I am at,
leave me alone.

So yes...

I do have a life,
not as acceptable as most peoples lives obviously,
but I am finding my own happiness,
I am making friends, I am learning new things

I don't need your approval,
love is a verb, and an "real" action, I've seen
neither but excuses...

end o story!​