-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
ive never been married. (don't think I will fall into that trap).
never had someone i could call girlfriend ether. so take what I say with a grain of salt.
But me personally. I would have just burned everything. roasted a few marshmellows with the fire. and yes im serious. (and honestly i wouldnt have pictures away cause I dont let anyone take pics of me)
never had someone i could call girlfriend ether. so take what I say with a grain of salt.
But me personally. I would have just burned everything. roasted a few marshmellows with the fire. and yes im serious. (and honestly i wouldnt have pictures away cause I dont let anyone take pics of me)
I
Well,I did ask for any & all opinions...lol so far an interesting spectrum of advice. I think I kinda get where yer' comin' from wisebeardman,I saw something you posted in response to my "have a cry" comment on another post. I don't feel like marriage is or was a trap (I think I thought that was maybe when I was a kid,simply because everyone I knew (myself included) came from a family of divorce,so marriage seemed stupid.
I will def be holding on to all my paperwork,license,selling of the house,divorce papers,etc...anything legal-wise,at least for 10yrs. I have a good size file cabinet I can tuck them away in the back. lol I won't rush into burning the photos yet,as part of me still finds that a bit disrespectful. I don't hate the woman,I just would like to clarify that. I hate her actions...her not wanting to keep our commitment of marriage & not open up & let me or anyone else in so that we could work on whatever problems she was having,but I wish her well & told her that the last time I saw her. I truly hope she does find happiness someday. Anyhooo ty for the comments...all things good to consider,except I am still perplexed by Barly's advice if it all was meant to be sarcasm or what it all meant??
I will def be holding on to all my paperwork,license,selling of the house,divorce papers,etc...anything legal-wise,at least for 10yrs. I have a good size file cabinet I can tuck them away in the back. lol I won't rush into burning the photos yet,as part of me still finds that a bit disrespectful. I don't hate the woman,I just would like to clarify that. I hate her actions...her not wanting to keep our commitment of marriage & not open up & let me or anyone else in so that we could work on whatever problems she was having,but I wish her well & told her that the last time I saw her. I truly hope she does find happiness someday. Anyhooo ty for the comments...all things good to consider,except I am still perplexed by Barly's advice if it all was meant to be sarcasm or what it all meant??
In case you decide to get rid of more stuff, just please remember that the way you feel about it now may not be the way you feel about it 10 years from now.
Better to hold on to something which can't be replaced than to discard it and then wish you hadn't. I already know that feeling, but fortunately for me they were just things I collected.
Better to hold on to something which can't be replaced than to discard it and then wish you hadn't. I already know that feeling, but fortunately for me they were just things I collected.
I
Not to speak for her, but from context, it appears that she understood where you were coming from and appreciated someone putting that feeling into words. I don't think she was being sarcastic at all.
Queen 'O The Katana
Well,I did ask for any & all opinions...lol so far an interesting spectrum of advice. I think I kinda get where yer' comin' from wisebeardman,I saw something you posted in response to my "have a cry" comment on another post. I don't feel like marriage is or was a trap (I think I thought that was maybe when I was a kid,simply because everyone I knew (myself included) came from a family of divorce,so marriage seemed stupid.
I will def be holding on to all my paperwork,license,selling of the house,divorce papers,etc...anything legal-wise,at least for 10yrs. I have a good size file cabinet I can tuck them away in the back. lol I won't rush into burning the photos yet,as part of me still finds that a bit disrespectful. I don't hate the woman,I just would like to clarify that. I hate her actions...her not wanting to keep our commitment of marriage & not open up & let me or anyone else in so that we could work on whatever problems she was having,but I wish her well & told her that the last time I saw her. I truly hope she does find happiness someday. Anyhooo ty for the comments...all things good to consider,except I am still perplexed by Barly's advice if it all was meant to be sarcasm or what it all meant??
I will def be holding on to all my paperwork,license,selling of the house,divorce papers,etc...anything legal-wise,at least for 10yrs. I have a good size file cabinet I can tuck them away in the back. lol I won't rush into burning the photos yet,as part of me still finds that a bit disrespectful. I don't hate the woman,I just would like to clarify that. I hate her actions...her not wanting to keep our commitment of marriage & not open up & let me or anyone else in so that we could work on whatever problems she was having,but I wish her well & told her that the last time I saw her. I truly hope she does find happiness someday. Anyhooo ty for the comments...all things good to consider,except I am still perplexed by Barly's advice if it all was meant to be sarcasm or what it all meant??
As for marrage as a trap. well Ive seen quite a few women trap a guy with that. get that paper signed pop out a kid and bam. she wants a divorce and the guy ends up losing everything. seen it happen to many times.
A
Well, I've been married twice and now divorced twice. I only kept a few pictures that I could hand down to the kids... legal papers are always a good thing to hold onto. You had a good life while you were in it, right, I believe God would tell us to enjoy today, yesterday is gone and we can't do anything about it; but we can work to make today a blessing for someone and a blessing for ourselves. Hope that helps a little.. God Bless
S
And it's easy enough to get rid of photos while also hanging on to them. These days, most of our photographic baggage is digital, although if you have some physical photos, I'd have someone scan the physical ones. Then take all of them, stick them on a thumbdrive, then delete them from your computer, phone, and online accounts. Give the thumbdrive to a close friend and say, "I need to keep this for me. Someday, I may ask for it back. Or I may never ask for it back. Just don't lose it, okay?"
Memories preserved, but your immediate space is cleared of the reminders.
Memories preserved, but your immediate space is cleared of the reminders.
P
I know for myself there are certain pictures I keep for the boys .. I went through them a few days ago after reading this post and it was pretty amazing, I remember things I was thinking in certain pictures and could also see how I no linger see things the same way.. You kind if get to a place and look back and say " was that me?"
Well, for what it's worth, here's what I did:
After the initial shock and pain had somewhat mellowed I had to make conscious decisions about moving forward with my life.
For me, the situation was a little different. We were living on the complete opposite side of the country to where my family is. When he decided he didn't want me anymore, I really had nowhere to go, so my Mum flew over and stayed with me in a motel for a few days while I sorted through the bare essentials I needed to take with me, then we flew back home together to the other side of the country.
I took with me clothes, and personal effects (important documents/jewellery/other personal items). I left behind furniture and other items. The logistics of transporting such items was ridiculous, and really, is it worth it? I decided it was less painful to just leave everything with him to do whatever he wanted. Sell it, whatever I don't care. It's not worth the hassle of chasing him up about it. I mean can you imagine 'Hey, did you sell the fridge? How much did you get? Can you give me half?' Not even worth it!
Anyway, here I am almost 15months later, still living with my parents, waiting for our divorce papers to come through (the process in Australia is complicated). Part of my healing process was choosing to make conscious, positive choices for MY LIFE. I started by thinking about things I wanted to do. Top on my list was travel. I'd always wanted to travel, so after much prayer and petition and when I felt comfortable, I sold my wedding ring to a pawnbroker who paid me the EXACT amount it cost to process a passport (God moves in mysterious ways eh?).
I started planning a holiday, (which is now only 3 weeks away), went on a healthy-lifestyle weight loss plan and lost a bunch of weight, found a great new church where I've made a heap of amazing new friends and gone back to finish studying! All super-positive things, and I now look forward to what each new day brings.
I think these things take time, but if it makes you upset/uncomfortable to see photos etc then don't keep them? Honestly what is the point? I no longer have any wedding photos or general pictures of us at all anymore. I don't hate him or do this out of spite, but I don't see the point in holding onto something that is clearly over. For me, it's a part of the healing process and helps bring closure to that chapter of my life. I don't think it's healthy to have constant reminders of past hurts when you're trying to move forward.
That's just my take on it. If you can't bring yourself to toss stuff out, then maybe box it up and put it away somewhere. Or if you feel guilty about throwing it away, have a garage sale, and donate the proceeds to a charity or missions or something
It will take time though. Remember that. You'll find with time those things won't have such a hold over you anymore and the choice about what to do with them will become easier.
Good luck.
After the initial shock and pain had somewhat mellowed I had to make conscious decisions about moving forward with my life.
For me, the situation was a little different. We were living on the complete opposite side of the country to where my family is. When he decided he didn't want me anymore, I really had nowhere to go, so my Mum flew over and stayed with me in a motel for a few days while I sorted through the bare essentials I needed to take with me, then we flew back home together to the other side of the country.
I took with me clothes, and personal effects (important documents/jewellery/other personal items). I left behind furniture and other items. The logistics of transporting such items was ridiculous, and really, is it worth it? I decided it was less painful to just leave everything with him to do whatever he wanted. Sell it, whatever I don't care. It's not worth the hassle of chasing him up about it. I mean can you imagine 'Hey, did you sell the fridge? How much did you get? Can you give me half?' Not even worth it!
Anyway, here I am almost 15months later, still living with my parents, waiting for our divorce papers to come through (the process in Australia is complicated). Part of my healing process was choosing to make conscious, positive choices for MY LIFE. I started by thinking about things I wanted to do. Top on my list was travel. I'd always wanted to travel, so after much prayer and petition and when I felt comfortable, I sold my wedding ring to a pawnbroker who paid me the EXACT amount it cost to process a passport (God moves in mysterious ways eh?).
I started planning a holiday, (which is now only 3 weeks away), went on a healthy-lifestyle weight loss plan and lost a bunch of weight, found a great new church where I've made a heap of amazing new friends and gone back to finish studying! All super-positive things, and I now look forward to what each new day brings.
I think these things take time, but if it makes you upset/uncomfortable to see photos etc then don't keep them? Honestly what is the point? I no longer have any wedding photos or general pictures of us at all anymore. I don't hate him or do this out of spite, but I don't see the point in holding onto something that is clearly over. For me, it's a part of the healing process and helps bring closure to that chapter of my life. I don't think it's healthy to have constant reminders of past hurts when you're trying to move forward.
That's just my take on it. If you can't bring yourself to toss stuff out, then maybe box it up and put it away somewhere. Or if you feel guilty about throwing it away, have a garage sale, and donate the proceeds to a charity or missions or something
It will take time though. Remember that. You'll find with time those things won't have such a hold over you anymore and the choice about what to do with them will become easier.
Good luck.