purity vow after having premarital sex?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
A

Arisa

Guest
#1
#1
As of recently, I have been leaning back towards my faith, especially since my boyfriend broke up with me. There is one thing I really regret, which was having premarital sex. I truly don't want my relationships in the future to be based off of sex.

I believe God is forgiving and I know that some people still get purity rings, and of course make the accompanying vow, after circumstances l have been through.. thoughts? opinions?
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Remember, 'purity vows' are a man made concept. Not saying its a bad idea, but its really just a ritual and has no real power or biblical basis behind it. What's important is not taking some trendy vow, but the commitment you make to God to live your walk out in every aspect of your life, and living that promise out. God has forgiven your past, you know you want to do right in your future, so do it. What holds people to their convictions is not making vows, its determining you want whats best for you, and to honor God. People make marriage vows all the time and look how few are ever kept. If you want to stop having sex before marriage, then stop.
Don't worry about the whole 'i had sex before, can i still make a purity vow'. Everyone will have different answers. All because there is no right one because, as stated, this is man made, and things like this only complicate simple issues. My thought is, make your vow to God. That doesn't need a public ceremony or a pointless ring. Commit to Him for your sake, not as a show for others. If you think the ring, or some other item, may help you as a reminder, then go for it, but no need to publicize this.
To me these are kind of a spiritual pride. People getting up in front of their church, or whoever, and saying 'look how spiritual i am for doing this' kind of mentality. And everyone fawns all over the people for making this 'vow'. It seems silly to me.
 
E

Epicnerdheroix

Guest
#3
#3
Just make a promise to God to refrain from sex until marriage. What's done is done but the blood of Christ washes away our sins. Be faithful to God and he'll return the favor :)
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#4
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#4
I like to say talk is cheap. actions speak louder then words.

if you are going to not have sex. then don't talk about it just do it.
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#5
Sep 5, 2011
1,258
8
38
35
#5
wisebeardman said:
I like to say talk is cheap. actions speak louder then words.

if you are going to not have sex. then don't talk about it just do it.
Click to expand...
Ahem, I think just do it might be the wrong advice in this case.....perhaps if you are not going to have sex the just don't have sex.

I think the whole purity ring and vow is a very american idea, I know many women and men saving themselves over here and I don't know any who wear a ring. It is something between you and God, you don't need a ring for that.

My only question is: is this something that you are committed too? Because from what I hear it is an awful lot harder to stop having sex than it is to just abstain in the first place. What happens when you get another bf, or this one comes back?
 
Last edited:
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#6
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#6
leelee said:
Ahem, I think just do it might be the wrong advice in this case.....perhaps if you are not going to have sex the just don't have sex.

I think the whole purity ring and vow is a very american idea, I know many women and men saving themselves over here and I don't know any who wear a ring. It is something between you and God, you don't need a ring for that.
Click to expand...
course I ment if you say you are not then don't.

I never understood the whole purity ring myself, but like I said. if someone is going to commit to not having sex. then dont have sex.
 
S

SeatBelt

Guest
#7
#7
Proud of you, Arisa, for making the stand! Have you sinned? Yes. Should you be verbally (or other wise) beaten up for it? No, let him who is without sin cast the first stone... Should you believe in your heart that God forgives you? YES, as long as your actions match that of a life turning from this sin. You are a Precious Princess, adopted into The Royal Family! I was a common street urchin before The King brought me in to His family, making me a co-heir to His One True Son. (Romans 8:17 NIV "17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.") God LOVES YOU and wants to see you succeed in this new walk! He offers for you and each of us Grace and Forgiveness. God Is Good, so good. Does a purity vow means something to Him? In my opinion, it is not the making of the vow, but the Keeping of the vow that Thrills Him to the core. Every parent delights in the good deeds of their own child. Is there anything wrong with making this vow? My opinion: No, as long as it is not some public display of a wrong mindset or heart-set. I think you could even do so publicly in a small setting if you do so with your head and your heart in the right place....but this has its risks as other posters have pointed towards. If you do something publicly, you set yourself up as an example and must toe the line delicately. My final answer, ring, vow, whatever... do what you feel you ought to do on this. I attend a 12-step (Celebrate Recovery) and get chips for different milestones in my recovery. Does God care if I am walking around with a chip in my pocket? No. does it help me keep my vow to Him to abstain from the things those represent to me? Yes. So do what you feel will help you make your walk daily match your commitment to Our Lord.
I awake each day the same prideful man with a sinful nature, but before leaving the house I make a choice. I choose each day to try my best to cloth myself in Christ Jesus. The sins of my past include embracing addiction. I will always be an addict, but Christ has set me free from it. Each day I choose to let Him set me free again, before I even have a chance to re-embrace my addiction. Whatever a person's past sins are, it does take consciously choosing to be under Christ's care and control to remain a new creation. The evil one knows how he trapped us before and likes to go back to the same traps with the same bait in hopes of trapping us again.
Know that CC is a safe place and that there will ALWAYS be someone here who will partner with you in prayer when things are less than easy.
God's looking out for you, Princess. Follow Him. God Bless You.
 
JesusChica1991

JesusChica1991

Banned
#8
May 9, 2012
1,514
25
0
#8
I wear (well until the stone fell out) a purity ring given to me by my father for my 16th birthday. He's going to get me another one. People who don't believe the idea always ask me what it means and then I tell them that I promised to be pure until marriage. Although I have broken that promise, God can still forgive and he will remain faithful as long as you remain faithful again. :) You don't HAVE to do the whole purity ring aspect. It's just a symbolic gesture most fathers give to their daughters and I am hoping my future husband would do the same thing. It's a symbolic thing like wedding rings and engagement rings. They aren't a biblical aspect. They are a worldly aspect. But it doesn't mean we shouldn't do it either. It's the symbolism around the jewelry that makes it mean more. Without those promises to remain faithful, the jewelry has no meaning.
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#9
#9
We're told to swear by nothing, and to let our yes be yes and our no be no. As everyone else has pointed out, taking a vow, swearing on some inanimate object that you won't break your word...just let your yes be yes and your no be no. Make a decision to do or not to do something, and stick to your convictions. If reciting some vows or signing a document proclaiming something actually had legitimate weight, then divorce wouldn't be an issue. You wanna be chaste? Then be chaste. When temptation comes, you're not going to rely on your vows, you're going to rely on Christ's love and strength. Christ's strength is far more effective when it comes to temptation than some earthly ring or vow.
 
E

Epicnerdheroix

Guest
#10
#10
I should mention that I never did any of that purity ring stuff when I was a teen and my virginity remains intact at nearly 29, however, I am as much a sinner as everyone else and honestly, I'm starting to slowly let go of my idolistic views of virginity. Maybe it IS wrong and even arrogant/Pharisee-esque of me to place it on a pedestal as I have before. On this Good Friday, I'm strongly convicted in the spirit regarding my views on virginity. If I am to truly believe that Jesus 'makes all things new' then a person's virginity status no longer matters, and neither does mine.
 
S

SeatBelt

Guest
#11
#11
Epicnerdheroix said:
... If I am to truly believe that Jesus 'makes all things new' then a person's virginity status no longer matters, and neither does mine.
Click to expand...
... as long as you also understand that non-marital sex (Adultery) is wrong, lest you fall into the "Shall we go on sinning so that grace may abound" Trap.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#12
Aug 2, 2009
24,602
4,273
113
#12
Purity vows and purity rings are really just trendy fads. Take them or leave them. They don't have any magical powers that will help someone stay pure. Its not like when you are tempted, the ring will light up and sound an alarm, but that might be a good invention! :)
 
A

arwen83

Guest
#13
#13
I had premarital sex and made a covenant with God 6 years ago not to have sex until marriage. I don't think of it as a purity vow. Just a promise to God. God makes all things new. I posted a thread in the ladies forum on this topic if you would like to check it out.
 
K

Katiebearman

Guest
#14
#14
Don't beat yourself up about it. What's done is done. It's your actions now that matter, and you're right, God is forgiving. I had premarital sex, I even had a baby out of wedlock, I'm now married to the guy I lost my virginity to and we've gone on to have another baby. I don't feel all that guilty for it, after all my son was a gift from God, and I'm thankful for that fact everyday :)
 
P

PrettyBelle

Guest
#15
#15
Arisa said:
As of recently, I have been leaning back towards my faith, especially since my boyfriend broke up with me. There is one thing I really regret, which was having premarital sex. I truly don't want my relationships in the future to be based off of sex.

I believe God is forgiving and I know that some people still get purity rings, and of course make the accompanying vow, after circumstances l have been through.. thoughts? opinions?
Click to expand...
I am 41 and am going to honor God by not having sex until I am married. I made this promise to Him and myself. I don't wear a purity ring or have a printed up vow. I know God abhors sexual sin so I stay away from it. I love God and want to honor Him with my body as the scripture in my signature states. Is that a vow or just obedience?

And remember the past is forgiven, covered under the blood of Jesus, and remembered no more once repented of. Psalms 103 says as far as the east is from the west. We can't change the past but can chose to honor God with our bodies today and every day.
 
E

episkopos

Guest
#16
#16
I recently contributed to similar post you might want to check out..my contribution was based on 1 Corinthians 6:12, "All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient:all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any". Having a purity ring may have a noble cause which doesn't come to realization "sometimes ", but do we really need to rely on a product of man's conception when our faith in Christ and fear of God gives us power to be the sons of God we're meant to be. This is especially so because true faith manifests in our deeds so that faith without works is indeed dead. (James 2:20&26)
Why marriage is a better option , I talked about as well:
Purity Rings - Page 8 - Christian Forums
God Bless!!

Dag Heward-Mills | Home
 
T

TJ91

Guest
#17
#17
with this whole promising God thing through my experience when you break that promise things dont go to well. im not say dont make it just mean what you are saying, and ask God to reinforce your strength to resist that temptation.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#18
Apr 18, 2013
9,495
2,563
113
#18
Personally, I have a pair of "purity socks", that I'm never taking off till I get married.
So far, no girl will stand close enough to talk to me.

But hey, if any girl can get past the socks... at least I'll be pure.

: )
 
christian74

christian74

Senior Member
#19
Oct 1, 2013
594
280
63
#19
As much as I agree that we should obey and rely on Christ for strength to overcome temptation and sinning, I don't think there's anything wrong to have something extra as a reminder of your determination to stay sexually pure until marriage.

I take pictures of things or places and often use them as my phone's wallpaper to remind myself to honor God. For example, one of coworkers is Jewish and she brought matzoh to work, unleavened bread, during the Passover. I looked it up and this is part of what I found:



"In the Bible, leaven is almost always symbolic of sin. Like leaven which permeates the whole lump of dough, sin will spread in a person, a church or a nation, eventually overwhelming and bringing its participants into its bondage and eventually to death.Romans 6:23 tell us that “the wages of sin is death,” which is God's judgment for sin, and this is the reason that Christ died—to provide a way out of this judgment for sin if man will repent of his sins, accept Christ as his Passover sacrifice, and have his heart changed so that he can conform his life to what God commands.

Whenever a little bit of sin in a person or a church is permitted, overlooked, and compromised, it works much like leaven in bread. It will eventually leaven the whole lump, affecting the whole church or the whole world (Galatians 5:9). This permitted sin will lead to other sins and will eventually draw a person or church completely outside of the will and favor of our Father, and our Savior, Jesus Christ."



I was so fascinated by its significance, took pictures of motzah and used it as the phone wallpaper. Personally, having that reminder helped me to remind myself and forced me to go through the thought process of what one sin can do to me when I was very close from going over the line - and it has been helpful personally to honor God with my body in the context of sexuality. I think we should be prudent when it comes to guarding our heart from sinning, thus, prepare as much as possible ahead of time, and why not take all the help you can find if having that ring on your finger will, or even, may cause you to recall why you decided to put that ring in the first place.



 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#20
#20
I say go for it. It's never a bad time to do that to honor God. We all make mistakes. I wouldn't beat yourself up over it forever. Just change what you want to change and keep on truckin.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.