Women: To date or not to date

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Say if a unbeliever asked you out on a date, what would you do?

  • Deny a date with the unbeliever

    Votes: 19 63.3%
  • Go on a date with the unbeliever

    Votes: 5 16.7%
  • Other:

    Votes: 6 20.0%

  • Total voters
    30
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
I think at this point I'd just like someone to shoot my phone into submission.. Any takers? Anybody like to step up for that ?
Good lord woman,you have my whip & fedora,what more do you need????? :p
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
Are there any good churches in the next town over? :)
Probably though then transportation becomes an issue. Living in the middle of the city I found no real need for a car my sophomore year of school and was tired of paying for parking and random car maintenance. Not to mention it was a junker anyways so i craiglisted it a couple years back.

Are you sure yer' not living in the film Footloose? :D
Oddly enough no its a town with about 6 or 7 colleges in it. I guess the only ones that stayed faithful after they came to school though were the real hardcore ones...
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
I like this and at the same time I think " was this a red flag for Jesus?" then I think of Hosea ...
Hosea isn't applicable to the question at hand, because Hosea did not CHOOSE to marry an unbeliever, he was specifically commanded to marry Gomer by God.

I think the main gist of this thread has been about whether or not you would CHOOSE to date an unbeliever (hence the poll). If the Lord commanded you to marry an unbeliever, then it wouldn't be a choice you made out of love, but out of obedience. Big difference.
 
Mar 8, 2013
244
6
0
May I say that I am not attacking you or anything for your position. Please hear my heart. I'm sincerely asking that you think about these things. As I widow, I would have had tremendous difficulty going on with my life if I had not known that my husband had gone to be with the Lord and was not on his way to hell...or just rotting in the grave as if his life had never mattered. When you plan to share a lifetime with someone these are things that matter.
HAhahahaha I thought this was an actual insect on my screen .. then I was like 'what, it's INSIDE the screen! How the??!'

lol you swindler you.
 
S

SeatBelt

Guest
If, as a Christian, I found that I had more in common with unbelievers than believers, regardless of gender, it would be a red flag to me.
...As a whole. Unbelievers vs Christians, no, I have more in common with Christians.
But If its people who Volunteer vs. Christians, its a little bit grayer but, still mostly Christians.
The only real difference is that Christians love people and want to see Jesus clothed and fed, wherever they go. Unbelievers love Animals and Nature, seeing Man as the problem.
If people keep focusing on the Culture of Worship Music and Prosperity Gospel, I don't think I'm going to fit in anymore. Instead of going to find our neighbors we hang a sign that says come join us. The Church doesn't need to change to react to anything, it was designed to be proactive, to love before counting what it is going to cost.
When needs go unmet and an Atheist Charity steps up to the plate, we only have ourselves to blame. But a Christian should be the only one who will give all to see that Jesus does not go hungry or naked.
With no disrespect to either of you, for there are Solid points on both sides...Let's all try adding the words "who Actively follow Christ" after where she said "believers" and before the comma. I think we can find more common ground that way.
Being a Christian is so terribly much more than just claiming the name of Christ. It is a lifestyle choice, and one easliy replaced by having the trappings of being a 'modern Christian' instead of being an Active Christian. I don't mean you need to join you church's Tuesday/Thursday Zumba Group or Ultimate Frisbee Team (suhweeet! where's that church, I might change denominations after all!). I just mean that if you don't at the very least, shoe horn in some Real lving the life type stuff to your life, or >gasp< live the life as your life, then are you really a Christian? We should all find those people who are living the life, and grow to be more like them.

As for the "Vacation Missions" comment... back in college I did spring break missions to a place with no electricity, no running water, and no greater need than the Lord. I think that if you gotta bring a tent to stay in & bleach your water before drinking it, that's some real stuff right there. If I'm half wrong, correct me - because if I'm wrong I need correcting! My point is, that was the best vacations I ever took. Them "Hey lets go pass out pamphlets on South Padre Island" folks ain't really reaching folks are they? What about the only-stayed-ina-3-star-hotel idea of suffering types with their cushy outreach to the already belivers? Well, it's all time that might could have been better invested in other ways, but in the end, though I would not choose either of those routes, I gotta say, if One person gains heaven out of it, it was worth it... but if in the process the "missionaries" loose heaven, is it still worth it?

As a final aside, at one time on a different Christian type website, my s/n was Hosea. Probably all I'm gonna say there.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
HAhahahaha I thought this was an actual insect on my screen .. then I was like 'what, it's INSIDE the screen! How the??!'

lol you swindler you.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! gotcha :D
 
V

violakat

Guest
HAhahahaha I thought this was an actual insect on my screen .. then I was like 'what, it's INSIDE the screen! How the??!'

lol you swindler you.
Yeah, you'd never guess she's a little prankster at heart.
 

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
For those of you who don't know, I used to be religiously Jewish. There is a saying from the Kabbalah. It goes something like this, "If you've saved one, you've saved the universe." I fully believe that Christ would have died for ONE believer. I fully believe he uses whomever and whatever he needs to to bring His children into the flock. After all, He broke the leg of one and carried it on His shoulders until the lamb was healed. I would know. He has broken my bones and repaired them so many times I've lost count.



As for the emotional invocation of a worship service. We're emotional people. Did you know that you can't make a decision without emotion? Seriously, you couldn't choose your shirt, your food, which words to speak or type without emotion. You can't function without dopamine and serotonin. That's one reason why people who are depressed can't choose. They don't have the serotonin to do so. Is it wrong to manipulate? Absolutely! Is it wrong to play on someone's emotions? You bet! However, God is an emotional God. He isn't a Vulcan We are made in His image, so He's got emotions too. They're just healthy and in line with His word.


Is church a business? Yes. Plain and simple. It always has been. We can rage against this particular dying of the light all we want, but in the end, the functional relationship with Christ is all you have. Churches are messed up because we're messed up. We're sinners saved by grace. So perhaps instead of being upset by the state of the church as a whole, we should change ourselves individually. Really, that's all we can do anyway.
 
A

arwen83

Guest
For those of you who don't know, I used to be religiously Jewish. There is a saying from the Kabbalah. It goes something like this, "If you've saved one, you've saved the universe." I fully believe that Christ would have died for ONE believer. I fully believe he uses whomever and whatever he needs to to bring His children into the flock. After all, He broke the leg of one and carried it on His shoulders until the lamb was healed. I would know. He has broken my bones and repaired them so many times I've lost count.



As for the emotional invocation of a worship service. We're emotional people. Did you know that you can't make a decision without emotion? Seriously, you couldn't choose your shirt, your food, which words to speak or type without emotion. You can't function without dopamine and serotonin. That's one reason why people who are depressed can't choose. They don't have the serotonin to do so. Is it wrong to manipulate? Absolutely! Is it wrong to play on someone's emotions? You bet! However, God is an emotional God. He isn't a Vulcan We are made in His image, so He's got emotions too. They're just healthy and in line with His word.


Is church a business? Yes. Plain and simple. It always has been. We can rage against this particular dying of the light all we want, but in the end, the functional relationship with Christ is all you have. Churches are messed up because we're messed up. We're sinners saved by grace. So perhaps instead of being upset by the state of the church as a whole, we should change ourselves individually. Really, that's all we can do anyway.
I think that this should be a new thread. Thats really neat that you used to be religiously Jewish. After reading a bit of the Jewish New Testament and a Messianic Jewish Commentary on the book of Matthew I have really come to appreciate the faith.
 
Aug 2, 2009
24,639
4,298
113
For those of you who don't know, I used to be religiously Jewish. There is a saying from the Kabbalah. It goes something like this, "If you've saved one, you've saved the universe." I fully believe that Christ would have died for ONE believer. I fully believe he uses whomever and whatever he needs to to bring His children into the flock. After all, He broke the leg of one and carried it on His shoulders until the lamb was healed. I would know. He has broken my bones and repaired them so many times I've lost count.



As for the emotional invocation of a worship service. We're emotional people. Did you know that you can't make a decision without emotion? Seriously, you couldn't choose your shirt, your food, which words to speak or type without emotion. You can't function without dopamine and serotonin. That's one reason why people who are depressed can't choose. They don't have the serotonin to do so. Is it wrong to manipulate? Absolutely! Is it wrong to play on someone's emotions? You bet! However, God is an emotional God. He isn't a Vulcan We are made in His image, so He's got emotions too. They're just healthy and in line with His word.


Is church a business? Yes. Plain and simple. It always has been. We can rage against this particular dying of the light all we want, but in the end, the functional relationship with Christ is all you have. Churches are messed up because we're messed up. We're sinners saved by grace. So perhaps instead of being upset by the state of the church as a whole, we should change ourselves individually. Really, that's all we can do anyway.
So is that a yes or a no? :confused:
 
P

PrettyBelle

Guest
This is a poll:

Ladies, if you found yourself in this situation what would you choose?
It is a reality that there is less males in the church these days (there was a thread mentioning this as well), which leave Christian ladies little options. I am not implying that the guys that are in church are duds, but we're not gonna go up to just any Christian Joe Smith to date, for the chance to marry and have babies. ANYWHO, I've been reading up on this phenomena and found that this issue of less men in the church and more single women in the church will only get worse. This is causing women to either date and marry outside of the church, or stay single within the church even if that means they will never marry.

My question to you ladies:

Would you date/marry someone outside the church?
Or would you wait and hope that God puts a Christian man in your life knowing this reality that there less men in church today?
Is age a factor in this decision?

Men, as always, your opinions matter, you are welcome to chime in.
I'm 41 and single. When I've tried dating and the whole sex before marriage topic comes up, even Christian guys I've dated said it was ok to have sex if we loved each other and were in a committed relationship.
So I'm still single. LOL
Seems like even dating a believer can be like dating an unbelieving one.
 
T

Tintin

Guest
Wowsers, that's intense! Good on you. Bleaching water doesn't sound very healthy either. Did you get really sick afterwards?

As for the "Vacation Missions" comment... back in college I did spring break missions to a place with no electricity, no running water, and no greater need than the Lord. I think that if you gotta bring a tent to stay in & bleach your water before drinking it, that's some real stuff right there.
 
S

SeatBelt

Guest
...Bleaching water doesn't sound very healthy either. Did you get really sick afterwards?
meh, it's all in the ratio. junkies have been doing it for years in higher concentrations to flush their system before a drug test. That might make you real sick. We did have a metalic taste to the water that was best overcome with a little sports drink powder (Any flavor of Gatorade was a good thing) would mask it. The only folks I ever knew to get significantly sick on that trip were merely dehydration or heat stroke. Let's face it, if you are going to be mixing concrete with shovels on the ground, working fast enough to keep the water from reaching the dirt, you a) gotta have a good team of people to take turns and swap out with and b) gotta work smarter, not harder, respecting the fact that you are south of the Tropic of Cancer and at about 5,000 ft elevation.
Someday I want to take my kids on this trip.
 

Jeshuvan

Pastor
Staff member
Apr 15, 2012
221
2
0
Hi,Gbu 2.The questions u ask have very simple answers.No to dating an unbeliever.Yes to waiting on God his choice is always the best one,Matt 6:33 says 2 seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness,all the others things shall be added unto you,its a promise in Gods Word.Age is not a factor when your relying on God,I got married at 46 to my wife,Im almost 60 now and my wife and I never even dated.I met her in India where I was doing Missionary Work.Just have peace joy and trust in God,he knows your desires and wants 2 fulfill them.Also I will close with this saying,your in a great position now,because its better 2 be single wishing and hoping u were married,than 2 be married wishing and hoping u were not,Amen.Just praise and thank God 4 all that u do have,he is not restricted by how many men or woman might be in the church,he is not resricted 2 anything,Praise u Lord.
 
P

Prodigal5

Guest
hmm interneting question... I wrote other... because its asking would i go out on a "date" with a non-christian. not would you date them like so that they are your boyfriend or whatever... but i think going out on a date with a non-christian could be a good ministering oportunity. I am not really sure though... You would have to explain you only want to be friends though
 
T

Tintin

Guest
But romantic relationships aren't meant to be a mission field. Ugh.
 
V

violakat

Guest
But romantic relationships aren't meant to be a mission field. Ugh.
I think she was meant only go out with the non Christian with the understanding it could only be as friends. Otherwise, only date Christian Men.