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We didn't know about all of it for a very long time.
S
I am close to someone who is in a marriage of both convenience and inconvenience. I have to pray for them daily.
This person frequently vacationed in Brazil. Several years ago, he met a lovely woman there, divorced with children. They fell very much in love, and he wanted to marry her and bring her back to the US. Her family, however, did not approve, and told her that if she did that, they would disown her. So, heartbroken, she did what she thought would be best for herself and my friend: she broke it off with him so that they could move on with their lives.
In a fit of despair and loneliness, he reacted by returning to Brazil and rebounding. (In someways, his experience was a lesson for me, as I have avoided the temptation to rebound when my heart was similarly broken.) The attraction was only physical, and from a personality compatibility standpoint, Miss Rebound was NOTHING like his love. And he impregnated her.
*head*
*hit*
*keyboard*
I love this man, but this was so...frustrating. And it's funny, because while I'm sure there was a great deal of panic at first, he actually liked the idea of being a father. He wanted to be a dad, now that he had no choice. Of course, two issues: a woman who is not compatible with him, and also, not a U.S. citizen! But he loves his son, and can't bear to be away from him, and he doesn't want to be a jerk and just take his son away from his son's mother...so what becomes the obvious solution?
A part of me is incredibly awed and proud about how dutiful he is about being responsible for the situation, instead of being a deadbeat dad, which could have been so easy to do in this situation. And also how he is doing it to keep the mother and son together.
And part of me is continually pained knowing that this whole thing is very likely doomed, because they drive each other insane, and the only thing that holds them together is their son. I wish I could say for certain that faith was involved, but now that she's Stateside, and is only fluent in Portugese, finding someone to minister to the both of them, to build them up and strengthen them in Christ...that's a tall order.
So, all I can do is keep reminding myself that nothing is impossible for God.
A marriage of convenience? Absolutely. And inconvenience? Yes, also.
Do I think it's right? I'm conflicted. Wrong? Still conflicted.
Every case is unique, I think.
This person frequently vacationed in Brazil. Several years ago, he met a lovely woman there, divorced with children. They fell very much in love, and he wanted to marry her and bring her back to the US. Her family, however, did not approve, and told her that if she did that, they would disown her. So, heartbroken, she did what she thought would be best for herself and my friend: she broke it off with him so that they could move on with their lives.
In a fit of despair and loneliness, he reacted by returning to Brazil and rebounding. (In someways, his experience was a lesson for me, as I have avoided the temptation to rebound when my heart was similarly broken.) The attraction was only physical, and from a personality compatibility standpoint, Miss Rebound was NOTHING like his love. And he impregnated her.
*head*
*hit*
*keyboard*
I love this man, but this was so...frustrating. And it's funny, because while I'm sure there was a great deal of panic at first, he actually liked the idea of being a father. He wanted to be a dad, now that he had no choice. Of course, two issues: a woman who is not compatible with him, and also, not a U.S. citizen! But he loves his son, and can't bear to be away from him, and he doesn't want to be a jerk and just take his son away from his son's mother...so what becomes the obvious solution?
A part of me is incredibly awed and proud about how dutiful he is about being responsible for the situation, instead of being a deadbeat dad, which could have been so easy to do in this situation. And also how he is doing it to keep the mother and son together.
And part of me is continually pained knowing that this whole thing is very likely doomed, because they drive each other insane, and the only thing that holds them together is their son. I wish I could say for certain that faith was involved, but now that she's Stateside, and is only fluent in Portugese, finding someone to minister to the both of them, to build them up and strengthen them in Christ...that's a tall order.
So, all I can do is keep reminding myself that nothing is impossible for God.
A marriage of convenience? Absolutely. And inconvenience? Yes, also.
Do I think it's right? I'm conflicted. Wrong? Still conflicted.
Every case is unique, I think.
B
But that is the risk in all marriages...
1 person can decide to disregard the commitment irrespective of the reason for agreeing to commit to the marriage in the first place. Liamson there was nothing wrong with your thinking of belief... you were duped,,, the other party was insincere about the commitment... ultimately God will avenge that issue... no one can mock God...especially regarding the union of marriage while professing to be a christian.
1 person can decide to disregard the commitment irrespective of the reason for agreeing to commit to the marriage in the first place. Liamson there was nothing wrong with your thinking of belief... you were duped,,, the other party was insincere about the commitment... ultimately God will avenge that issue... no one can mock God...especially regarding the union of marriage while professing to be a christian.
D
As long as both people know the true intentions going into it, I don't think it's a horrible idea. We don't see as much of it in Modern American society but it used to be done all the time. I don't think arranged marriages are a horrible thing either. Not something we do in America but I don't think it makes that kind of thing automatically bad.
Getting married for financial/medical reasons is definitely NOT a good reason to get married.
As far as arranged marriages go, I think that one would really have to trust the integrity of the person doing the arranging. As for me, I couldn't do it without to know the person first (but in that case I think it is called getting fixed up with someone... lol) unless it was specifically arranged by God. That's just me though. If it works for others, great.
As far as arranged marriages go, I think that one would really have to trust the integrity of the person doing the arranging. As for me, I couldn't do it without to know the person first (but in that case I think it is called getting fixed up with someone... lol) unless it was specifically arranged by God. That's just me though. If it works for others, great.
