Too Much or Too Little?

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When it comes to the male / female "roles" perplexity -- I have noticed that somewhere within the "vibe" of expression about the responsibility and implementation of both roles seems to be the following comparative reality:

A woman's greatest concern about her future husband's God-given 'role' is that he will "take it too seriously"...

A man's greatest concern about his future wife's God-given 'role' is that she will "not take it seriously enough"...

Thoughts?

:)
 
I would say the exact opposite is true.


Women like men who take their roles really seriously.

Men like women who don't really care what they are "supposed to do"


or... maybe thats just me. I can cook and clean and earn money. I just want "Her" to be able to be her and do what she feels comfortable doing. I didn't fall in love with her, so that I don't have to Iron my shirts.
 
I think both goes for both.

For a husband to "take it too seriously" (though really the correct phrase would be "misinterpret the Scriptures") would mean demanding, a dictator, won't let his wife do anything without his permission, etc. On the other hand, if he doesn't take it seriously enough, he'll let everything slide, he won't stand up for himself or for his wife.

For a wife to not do as Scripture says, she would undermine her husband, be argumentative, prideful, and disrespectful. On the other end of the spectrum would be a wife who was a doormat, who never offered her husband sound advice, who did not uphold him and support him.

I'd hope that I would know a man enough, know his heart enough, know his love of God enough, that I would know who exactly I was marrying and would not, hopefully, have to deal with either extreme. Obviously, there are going to be times when my husband will fail, and I will fail. We're humans. But if it's a characteristic in the relationship rather than a slip-up, that's where the concern would be.
 
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By take seriously I didn't really think of a Dictator, or even someone who gets angry at all.

I was thinking about what kind of Husband Jesus would expect us to be.
 
Liamson said:
By take seriously I didn't really think of a Dictator, or even someone who gets angry at all.

I was thinking about what kind of Husband Jesus would expect us to be.
Click to expand...

Oh, I agree. I think both should take their roles seriously. The variations of that (the ones I posted) would be disobeying Scripture and NOT taking it seriously. :)
 
GRA said:
When it comes to the male / female "roles" perplexity -- I have noticed that somewhere within the "vibe" of expression about the responsibility and implementation of both roles seems to be the following comparative reality:

A woman's greatest concern about her future husband's God-given 'role' is that he will "take it too seriously"...

A man's greatest concern about his future wife's God-given 'role' is that she will "not take it seriously enough"...

Thoughts?

:)
Click to expand...
"MY BAD! Sorry..." :o

With a thread title of 'Too Much or Too Little?'...

I thought that, by using the word 'future' (to represent a certain amount of "unknowing" in a single person's "looking forward" [in time] to becoming a spouse) - and, with the 'seriously' part in double-quotes (to emphasize the particularly 'focused' viewpoint of the one who is concerned) -- it would be understood...

Let me try again...

By "take it too seriously" - I meant - "perform above and beyond the definitions, requirements, and limits that God set in - and intended for - the husband's 'role' -- as viewed by the woman..."

By "not take it seriously enough" - I meant - "perform below and beneath the definitions, requirements, and limits that God set in - and intended for - the wife's 'role' -- as viewed by the man..."

And, just in case this helps:

The woman is afraid that the husband will "over-do" what she believes is "the proper performance of the role"...

The man is afraid that the wife will "under-do" what he believes is "the proper performance of the role"...

Better?

:)
 
Personally, I worry about my future husband overdoing (being a dictator, etc) and under doing (ie not being the spiritual head of the household, etc) what the bible calls him to do.

And I worry about not being good enough for him. As if he'll look at me one day and tell me I was a huge mistake and have failed as his wife.


I'm not sure if this is what you're talking about GRA, but it's the first thing I thought of.
 
rachelsedge said:
I think both goes for both.

For a husband to "take it too seriously" (though really the correct phrase would be "misinterpret the Scriptures") would mean demanding, a dictator, won't let his wife do anything without his permission, etc. On the other hand, if he doesn't take it seriously enough, he'll let everything slide, he won't stand up for himself or for his wife.

For a wife to not do as Scripture says, she would undermine her husband, be argumentative, prideful, and disrespectful. On the other end of the spectrum would be a wife who was a doormat, who never offered her husband sound advice, who did not uphold him and support him.

I'd hope that I would know a man enough, know his heart enough, know his love of God enough, that I would know who exactly I was marrying and would not, hopefully, have to deal with either extreme. Obviously, there are going to be times when my husband will fail, and I will fail. We're humans. But if it's a characteristic in the relationship rather than a slip-up, that's where the concern would be.
Click to expand...

Excellent reply, especially the part about knowing each other enough, even though folks tend to change after the 'I dos' or a child or two.

A couple of years into our marriage my wife told me I wanted too much. I told her she wanted to give too little with respect to effort in our marriage. That sentiment hasn't really changed much. But we've been together sixteen years now with two great children. So, unless I hit the lotto, I'm not going anywhere. :)
 
I want a man who will take his role as the head of our house very seriously.
I have been around many men who let the fact that I have a strong personality
make them take a step back from taking a leading role in our relationship. These
same men only want to go where I want to go or do what I want to do. I don't
want that type of man to be the head of my house. I want the man of my house
to be someone who sees that I am making a bad decision and tells me how they
feel.
 
I'm a Lil scared I don't even think of these things. I do hope he loves football preferably the 49ers. But really I don't. Maybe I'm under the assumption God's got that taken care of. Or that I need to get to the point were I'm saying hello to that person and then a date. That's just so way off for me. yikes
 
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There must be something wrong with me. I don't have either concern.
 
rachelsedge said:
I think both goes for both.

For a husband to "take it too seriously" (though really the correct phrase would be "misinterpret the Scriptures") would mean demanding, a dictator, won't let his wife do anything without his permission, etc. On the other hand, if he doesn't take it seriously enough, he'll let everything slide, he won't stand up for himself or for his wife.

For a wife to not do as Scripture says, she would undermine her husband, be argumentative, prideful, and disrespectful. On the other end of the spectrum would be a wife who was a doormat, who never offered her husband sound advice, who did not uphold him and support him.

I'd hope that I would know a man enough, know his heart enough, know his love of God enough, that I would know who exactly I was marrying and would not, hopefully, have to deal with either extreme. Obviously, there are going to be times when my husband will fail, and I will fail. We're humans. But if it's a characteristic in the relationship rather than a slip-up, that's where the concern would be.
Click to expand...
LOL..man, rachel...plz don't take this in any sort of flirty way or disrespect...but where the heck were women like you when I was yer' age & in church?????? I swear...none of the chicks at yer' age had their heads screwed on,nor seemed to have half the love & interest as you do for God & his word. ^5 chicklette! You Rock! (p.s. - yer' future Hubby is gonna be one blessed dude)
 
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