I feel kind of odd today.

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DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
Apr 27, 2011
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I'm not really sure what to make of what I'm feeling. Actually, I feel like God is expanding my recognition of my emotions and I'm not really sure what to do with it.


Lyrics from the show Rent keep running through my mind. It's between two characters in a support group. Between Angel and some guy.

Angel: How do you feel today?

Guy: What?

Angel: How do you feel today?

Guy: Best I've felt all year.

Angel: Then why choose fear?

Guy: I'm a New Yorker. Fear's my life. I find much of what you teach suspect, because I'm used to relying on intellect. But I try to open up to what I don't know.

Everyone sings: Because reason says I should have died, three years ago. No other road, no other way. No day but today.


I can identify with that guy. I'm used to relying on intellect, but I truly am open to what I don't know or understand. I tried for a long time to just not feel anything, and it doesn't work. But I'm not sure what to do with what God's doing in my life either. I would like to have a list of all the emotions humans can feel and the description of said emotion next to it. So when I'm feeling something that I don't know the exact name of, I can identify it and put it to rest.

Arwen, if you're reading this you're probably giggling to yourself thinking, "A classic INTJ". :P

And that's what I am, I suppose. Maybe this is about me learning to accept me.

A few weeks ago I emailed a friend of mine a question and he made a really good point. He said, and I quote "To make callous what was once sensitive is not good. A callous heart does not fall in love, but a broken heart can heal and grow." Maybe that's what's going on with me. Maybe Jesus is removing my calloused parts and revealing my soft and squishy heart.


Thoughts, comments, concerns?
 
DuchessAimee said:
I'm not really sure what to make of what I'm feeling. Actually, I feel like God is expanding my recognition of my emotions and I'm not really sure what to do with it.


Lyrics from the show Rent keep running through my mind. It's between two characters in a support group. Between Angel and some guy.

Angel: How do you feel today?

Guy: What?

Angel: How do you feel today?

Guy: Best I've felt all year.

Angel: Then why choose fear?

Guy: I'm a New Yorker. Fear's my life. I find much of what you teach suspect, because I'm used to relying on intellect. But I try to open up to what I don't know.

Everyone sings: Because reason says I should have died, three years ago. No other road, no other way. No day but today.


I can identify with that guy. I'm used to relying on intellect, but I truly am open to what I don't know or understand. I tried for a long time to just not feel anything, and it doesn't work. But I'm not sure what to do with what God's doing in my life either. I would like to have a list of all the emotions humans can feel and the description of said emotion next to it. So when I'm feeling something that I don't know the exact name of, I can identify it and put it to rest.

Arwen, if you're reading this you're probably giggling to yourself thinking, "A classic INTJ". :P

And that's what I am, I suppose. Maybe this is about me learning to accept me.

A few weeks ago I emailed a friend of mine a question and he made a really good point. He said, and I quote "To make callous what was once sensitive is not good. A callous heart does not fall in love, but a broken heart can heal and grow." Maybe that's what's going on with me. Maybe Jesus is removing my calloused parts and revealing my soft and squishy heart.


Thoughts, comments, concerns?
Click to expand...

Though it may not be a great moment for you, I gotta say, I love this post. Should bring up some interesting discussion.

I think your friend was being right on target with you with those words. I had an odd day like that the other day. I've toughened myself up just to learn to control my emotions, and I ran into circumstances that were hurtful, and it just felt really...odd, like you described.

Maybe it's God just reminding you that you're human. You may not have it figured out, but he does. You still feel. Your emotions are still alive and kicking, maybe it's a reminder.
 
That's a good point. It's like that pic I put up on my facebook page. INTJ's don't feel or love broadly, but we feel and love deeply. I think part of what I'm feeling is vulnerability.


God has also been prompting me to use my gifts. That scares me. A lot, actually. It's always segregated me in the past, and I don't want to be alone. I want to be social. But ya know, if it's for His kingdom, I can handle being alone.


Thank for your words, Zao :)
 
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