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Be obedient to the will of God. Love your husband as described in 1 Corinthians 13. Love is a choice that is made out of free will... a gift.
God is able to change your very heart and increase your desire for your husband. He will do so if you are obedient to His will.
God is able to change your very heart and increase your desire for your husband. He will do so if you are obedient to His will.
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mariebee
Guest
Thank you for that I ask the Lord the to change me each day , and I believe I'm a strong woman of God that has is still waiting for that romantic love to come back again. You see we are not one in spirit so I feel along when it come to my marriage, but I know the Lord is with me. please pray for continued strength, In Christ Marie
I think you are on the right track. Here are some things to note:
You are one in spirit. This is in the scriptures. You are one in body and in spirit with your husband.
Remember that God is the creator and He created us in His image. This is why man is unlike animals in that we are able to create things.
Don't wait for the romance to come back. Create it. You can have a lot of fun with this if you choose to.
The joy of the Lord is your strength.
Grace and peace be to you through our Lord, Jesus Christ.
You are one in spirit. This is in the scriptures. You are one in body and in spirit with your husband.
Remember that God is the creator and He created us in His image. This is why man is unlike animals in that we are able to create things.
Don't wait for the romance to come back. Create it. You can have a lot of fun with this if you choose to.
The joy of the Lord is your strength.
Grace and peace be to you through our Lord, Jesus Christ.
M
mariebee
Guest
You don't understand we are not both Christ minded, I know we all have a spirit I'm talking about the spirit of God that dwells inside of us when invite him into our hearts, so that's what makes it hard at times we don't want the same things. everything your saying is good, but this is the reality of it and only Jesus can help
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mariebee
Guest
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hattiebod
Guest
You loved him once?....assuming you did.....now live with your husband as if he was the most amazing, entertaining, generous, loving, handsome
and precious husband in the world, Give Thanks to God daily that He has placed you with this wonderful companion and that you trust Him to work on both your hearts. Tell yourself that you were the most fortunate woman to be married to him...watch how this attitude transforms your interactions, speech and the way you 'feel'. Feelings are never to be relied upon as they are fickle. Watch how your interaction and communication changes. We cannot sit passively and wait for God to change our lives, He needs us to act, in keeping with His will and desires for us. You want change....so watch as your daily life can be transformed if you have a go to live this way, changes can occur not only your attitude and responses but your husbands too. God Bless you! <><
I understand what you mean when you speak to him not being in Jesus.
I went through this with my husband for a while.
He was a christian by how he was raised, but did not know Jesus in spirit and word.
This was difficult at times, mostly when it came to how we raised our children, also he hurt me and never knew he was doing so. Simply because, he didnt know Jesus.
I finally gave him compleatly to God in Jesus, and then loved him as called to in Jesus, asking for Jesus's love for him.
God placed some good chrstian men in his path, who in time, and in witness, convicted his heart to Jesus.
It took some time, a few years, but , he is now baptised and seeking after the heart of Jesus.
I couldnt ask for a better way for him to win my heart.
He is not perfect, but we both now together seek the perfect, Jesus!
Trust your husband to Jesus, I figure you can do this as you have already remained commited to your marraige in Jesus.
Then let God work on his heart and pray for him.
Praying for you both in Jesus Christ is Lord.
Hugs and God bless
pickles
I went through this with my husband for a while.
He was a christian by how he was raised, but did not know Jesus in spirit and word.
This was difficult at times, mostly when it came to how we raised our children, also he hurt me and never knew he was doing so. Simply because, he didnt know Jesus.
I finally gave him compleatly to God in Jesus, and then loved him as called to in Jesus, asking for Jesus's love for him.
God placed some good chrstian men in his path, who in time, and in witness, convicted his heart to Jesus.
It took some time, a few years, but , he is now baptised and seeking after the heart of Jesus.
I couldnt ask for a better way for him to win my heart.
He is not perfect, but we both now together seek the perfect, Jesus!
Trust your husband to Jesus, I figure you can do this as you have already remained commited to your marraige in Jesus.
Then let God work on his heart and pray for him.
Praying for you both in Jesus Christ is Lord.
Hugs and God bless
pickles
L
Lucy68
Guest
It is difficult to be married to an unbelieving spouse...yet God's Word tells us that we honor Him when we love our spouse anyway:
1 Peter 3:1-2 "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, [SUP]2 [/SUP]when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."
Not an easy teaching to follow but I think God will lead us in this and make us better people for it.
Make a list of your husbands good points and focus on those...be thankful for those. Remember how you used to love him. Don't think about his 'defects'...unless you're in physical danger? This does depend on your current circumstances which you don't go into detail about. Thank him for what he does.
It was an eye opener for me when I realized how much my husband needs my verbal approval. I just assumed he knew all those things he was doing right and didn't need my approval. But our husbands REALLY need our approval and respect. When we focus only on the negatives, the relationship suffers greatly.
Another thing to watch out for is a superior attitude
. This can sneak into any relationship between a believer and an unbeliever. Feeling self-righteous is something we really have to fight.
Also, resentment can creep in. Especially when you read what the Bible says a husband should be and if your husband falls short, you may say "look, it says right here that you're supposed to be ....". It's easy to accuse but hard to accept. Resentment will hinder the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives!
Praying for you...strength, wisdom, patience, and that the Holy Spirit will lead you and your husband into a healthy and happy relationship.
1 Peter 3:1-2 "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, [SUP]2 [/SUP]when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."
Not an easy teaching to follow but I think God will lead us in this and make us better people for it.
Make a list of your husbands good points and focus on those...be thankful for those. Remember how you used to love him. Don't think about his 'defects'...unless you're in physical danger? This does depend on your current circumstances which you don't go into detail about. Thank him for what he does.
It was an eye opener for me when I realized how much my husband needs my verbal approval. I just assumed he knew all those things he was doing right and didn't need my approval. But our husbands REALLY need our approval and respect. When we focus only on the negatives, the relationship suffers greatly.
Another thing to watch out for is a superior attitude
. This can sneak into any relationship between a believer and an unbeliever. Feeling self-righteous is something we really have to fight. Also, resentment can creep in. Especially when you read what the Bible says a husband should be and if your husband falls short, you may say "look, it says right here that you're supposed to be ....". It's easy to accuse but hard to accept. Resentment will hinder the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives!
Praying for you...strength, wisdom, patience, and that the Holy Spirit will lead you and your husband into a healthy and happy relationship.
S
SLG26
Guest
You're talking to God, but have you talked to your husband? You can't expect the Lord to take care of all your problems while being dishonest with the man you're married to. Pray, if you will, but don't live a lie.
Pretending you love your husband is like trying to fool God. You're telling God you're in a loving marriage, when you don't love your husband.
Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Tell him you want to go to marriage counseling so you can figure out how you can relight the candle of love. Don't expect God to help you when you're not even taking your own steps to help yourself. Don't expect God to help you if you're planning on lying to both yourself and your husband.
You're the one who has to stand up and use your God given legs.
J
J-Kay
Guest
The ''eyegate" comes to mind. I believe the Lord is saying be careful
what you look at. When we begin to see the issues in our mate that makes
them unattractive, be it spiritual or physical, it is important to be cautious.
Ask Jesus to help you love your husband. And as far as his Christian walk
be patient. I have been married 49 years. My husband believed, but not to
the extent I did. It has taken many years for him to get to where he is today.
I pray Gods blessing upon you and believe with you for Christ loving marriage
until He returns. Bless you.
what you look at. When we begin to see the issues in our mate that makes
them unattractive, be it spiritual or physical, it is important to be cautious.
Ask Jesus to help you love your husband. And as far as his Christian walk
be patient. I have been married 49 years. My husband believed, but not to
the extent I did. It has taken many years for him to get to where he is today.
I pray Gods blessing upon you and believe with you for Christ loving marriage
until He returns. Bless you.
Your feelings are not abnormal, but you should explore why you feel this way. Is there someone else? Are you looking to your husband to provide a kind of comfort that only God can provide? Has your husband wronged you in some way and you not forgiven him? Try to find the cause and work from there. Blessings to you.
I am in your shoes. I am working very hard each day to pray so that I will fall in love with hubby again. I do love him and care about his health and salvation, but he hurt me terribly and it just happened that I fell out of love and he doesn't even get it. I believe you need to remember God is love and we are to love as He loved us.
God Bless you
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If you're having difficulties, you need to talk to your husband about them. Don't try to live a lie. Don't try to "hint" that you're not in love with him. Just talk to him. If you want to love him again, you and your husband have to work together. If you need to, go to couples counseling.
Don't live a lie.
We all have at one point or another beat ourselves up (and unfortunately also beaten up those near to us) through unrealistic fantasies. But we do not see that an idea like as, "there automatically exists that one soul somewhere perfectly matched to me", is but an illusion which actually fails to prove true under scrutiny.
Truth is what will set you free and that means you are going to have to come to understand certain things.
(1) You are going to have to learn why it is a fantasy that there automatically exists that one perfect soul mate for you. And the short answer for that is that God is the only one who is supposed to occupy that space in your life. You must see and believe that he is your most important relationship in life and that if all other relationships in life betrayed you, your relationship with him is enough to sustain you.
Any other relationship you have the privilege of enjoying in this life requires flexibility and conformity on the part of both parties because our spirits cannot be perfectly in tune until both parties are synchronized by each independently being in tune with God's spirit. God has to be number one in both of your lives.
Now, you might imagine that there is another partner out there somewhere who is already in tune with God and is right for you. But you ought to know there is something wrong with that idea as if that other person is in tune to God's spirit then they would never see their self as right for you who already exist in a vow to be faithful to one other human in your life above all other humans. They would see that the relationship you already have is one that glorifies God by your faithfulness to it, as that relationship is a figure of your loyalty to God.
We must be realistic and accept that all relationships take work on the part of both parties, even when it comes to your relationship with your children. And God teaches us the way of truth (true knowledge, as opposed to illusions) which has the only hope and power to set us free from whatever our situation is. Not by abandoning our situation! By learning more fully to use the knowledge which is true and unselfish love and treasuring that knowledge above all other knowledge as it is what secures us to God himself.
(2) And so with all of that said, we need now to cast away the distraction of looking for the solution outside the relationship (perhaps having even to cast away thoughts that entertain an idea that the arms of another human await) and focus on our relationship with God and learning from him to have that truth of knowledge which will bring us to be as Paul described:
2 Corinthians 12:10 "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."
2 Corinthians 13:4 "For though he was crucified through weakness, yet he liveth by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but we shall live with him by the power of God toward you."
Are we supposed to live that way towards strangers and not even more so towards our own spouse and children?
Ponder the Psalms and the proverbs and seek to make each thought understood and a part of your heart.
I will give you only one to start with. Perhaps others here might relate more of these thoughts to you.
Frustrated expectations are the cause of much of the heart's bending down (falling to sadness, exasperation, and like temperaments).
Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." (KJV)
Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when longing is fulfilled, it is a tree of life." (World English Bible)
That is what is happening to you.
But it is happening because your longings are unrealistic. You hope or wish for an idea that is mere fantasy and you must come to accept that it is illusion and fantasy or you will keep wishing for it and your heart will keep feeling sickened because of that wish.
Instead of seeking to find a way out of your misery, seek to transform yourself by the truth of God which is your only real hope of freedom from the heaviness your heart now bears.
Truth is what will set you free and that means you are going to have to come to understand certain things.
(1) You are going to have to learn why it is a fantasy that there automatically exists that one perfect soul mate for you. And the short answer for that is that God is the only one who is supposed to occupy that space in your life. You must see and believe that he is your most important relationship in life and that if all other relationships in life betrayed you, your relationship with him is enough to sustain you.
Any other relationship you have the privilege of enjoying in this life requires flexibility and conformity on the part of both parties because our spirits cannot be perfectly in tune until both parties are synchronized by each independently being in tune with God's spirit. God has to be number one in both of your lives.
Now, you might imagine that there is another partner out there somewhere who is already in tune with God and is right for you. But you ought to know there is something wrong with that idea as if that other person is in tune to God's spirit then they would never see their self as right for you who already exist in a vow to be faithful to one other human in your life above all other humans. They would see that the relationship you already have is one that glorifies God by your faithfulness to it, as that relationship is a figure of your loyalty to God.
We must be realistic and accept that all relationships take work on the part of both parties, even when it comes to your relationship with your children. And God teaches us the way of truth (true knowledge, as opposed to illusions) which has the only hope and power to set us free from whatever our situation is. Not by abandoning our situation! By learning more fully to use the knowledge which is true and unselfish love and treasuring that knowledge above all other knowledge as it is what secures us to God himself.
(2) And so with all of that said, we need now to cast away the distraction of looking for the solution outside the relationship (perhaps having even to cast away thoughts that entertain an idea that the arms of another human await) and focus on our relationship with God and learning from him to have that truth of knowledge which will bring us to be as Paul described:
2 Corinthians 12:10 "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."
2 Corinthians 13:4 "For though he was crucified through weakness, yet he liveth by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but we shall live with him by the power of God toward you."
Are we supposed to live that way towards strangers and not even more so towards our own spouse and children?
Ponder the Psalms and the proverbs and seek to make each thought understood and a part of your heart.
I will give you only one to start with. Perhaps others here might relate more of these thoughts to you.
Frustrated expectations are the cause of much of the heart's bending down (falling to sadness, exasperation, and like temperaments).
Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." (KJV)
Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when longing is fulfilled, it is a tree of life." (World English Bible)
That is what is happening to you.
But it is happening because your longings are unrealistic. You hope or wish for an idea that is mere fantasy and you must come to accept that it is illusion and fantasy or you will keep wishing for it and your heart will keep feeling sickened because of that wish.
Instead of seeking to find a way out of your misery, seek to transform yourself by the truth of God which is your only real hope of freedom from the heaviness your heart now bears.
I am going to offer you a bit of encouragement.
I am not telling to worship the sun or the moon or the stars of the celestial heavens; I am telling you to learn to see that God has created into them a picture of himself and how his ways work.
Psalms 19:1-3 "The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge. There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard."
Your name is now Job.
Job 37:14 "Hearken unto this, O Job: stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God."
When we look at the universe through a telescope we see an amazing order of all the stars and their moons, each of which are held into their proper place by a thing we call gravity which works together with what we call velocity (the speed of movement).
That gravity is a picture of the staying power of God's spirit in our lives. And that velocity is evidence that we must learn to move actively at the rate of speed set for us by God in order that we benefit fully from his spirit. That amounts to learning to be in tune or sync with his spirit.
I want you to learn to ponder things such as this everyday as you see these things. And I want you to look for what you can learn of God in everything that he has made, for it is there. You just have not yet noticed it. And you won't until you begin to look for it.
That same order is able to be seen even down to the microscopic level of things. The atom operates in a very similar fashion to the greater galaxies with the sun comparable to the nucleus of each atom.
We see other things about the atom which reflect God's ways. For example, we know that the nucleus hold s the protons (which are positive forces in nature) close to it.
We Know that the orbiting electrons are negative by nature, yet they are held in a harmonious order by the pull exerted over them from the positive forces held tight to the nucleus. For the law of charges tells us that unlike charges attract.
But the law of charges also tells us that like charges repel. So then why do not the orbiting electrons, all of which are like charges, repel each other into chaos? It is because the positive force pulling on them (which is like God's spirit)from the nucleus, combined with the velocity of the electrons as they travel around the nucleus, holds them into that harmonious order, unless and until an outside interference is introduced. (Which is in fact a large part of how electricity is generated)
Can you see from the little I have shared that nature itself does indeed speak to us telling us what we need to be doing?
It would not hurt to read all that young Elihu told Job. Your strength is the knowledge in God's word.
I am not telling to worship the sun or the moon or the stars of the celestial heavens; I am telling you to learn to see that God has created into them a picture of himself and how his ways work.
Psalms 19:1-3 "The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge. There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard."
Your name is now Job.
Job 37:14 "Hearken unto this, O Job: stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God."
When we look at the universe through a telescope we see an amazing order of all the stars and their moons, each of which are held into their proper place by a thing we call gravity which works together with what we call velocity (the speed of movement).
That gravity is a picture of the staying power of God's spirit in our lives. And that velocity is evidence that we must learn to move actively at the rate of speed set for us by God in order that we benefit fully from his spirit. That amounts to learning to be in tune or sync with his spirit.
I want you to learn to ponder things such as this everyday as you see these things. And I want you to look for what you can learn of God in everything that he has made, for it is there. You just have not yet noticed it. And you won't until you begin to look for it.
That same order is able to be seen even down to the microscopic level of things. The atom operates in a very similar fashion to the greater galaxies with the sun comparable to the nucleus of each atom.
We see other things about the atom which reflect God's ways. For example, we know that the nucleus hold s the protons (which are positive forces in nature) close to it.
We Know that the orbiting electrons are negative by nature, yet they are held in a harmonious order by the pull exerted over them from the positive forces held tight to the nucleus. For the law of charges tells us that unlike charges attract.
But the law of charges also tells us that like charges repel. So then why do not the orbiting electrons, all of which are like charges, repel each other into chaos? It is because the positive force pulling on them (which is like God's spirit)from the nucleus, combined with the velocity of the electrons as they travel around the nucleus, holds them into that harmonious order, unless and until an outside interference is introduced. (Which is in fact a large part of how electricity is generated)
Can you see from the little I have shared that nature itself does indeed speak to us telling us what we need to be doing?
It would not hurt to read all that young Elihu told Job. Your strength is the knowledge in God's word.