It has been awhile and in this time of absence, I have grown, I have discovered and I have some answers. I finally realized that the answers I was looking for, I already knew them. I just did not want to believe it. I am still searching and asking for more clarity but in the midst of it all, God is still here right beside me.
One day I hope he can understand and know that I tried my best. I tried to put a smile on my face when I was hurting. I tried praying and praying and praying but still couldn't solve the empty feelings in my heart. I hope he can forgive me AND know how much I love him.
I just want the pain to end. I want the enemy to leave me alone. I just want to finally belong in a place where I fit in, where I am understood, where I am heard. Instead of people ignoring me or thinking that what I have to say is unimportant. This is the end, I am done feeling this way. To much pain to bear and my heart cannot take it. I hope my son finds love and people to love him, he deserves it..
I am so different and misunderstood, and so many bad things people have said about me. In my heart of hearts I just want to finally be at peace. I no longer want to hide in my room, or do things that God hates. I no longer want others to get bad vibes from me. I just want to finally be myself, understand myself, and find healing within. I keep asking Jesus to take me with him so I can be free and have joy.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders let me walk upon the waters where ever you will call me, Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my savior. :)
I wanted to come here and share one of my passions, well a big passion is to help others and by helping I mean praying, I love to pray so if there is anyone out there, struggling or in need of a prayer, I know God is with me and I know that you will feel better :) send me a message, let's talk, how ever you want to go about it, and also if you need a friend, I am here :) I cannot wait to meet you and pray.
Jesus allow me to live to my truest potential in you! Please, lord each day I wake up I pray to not waste anymore time. Not being stagnant, lazy, or unmotivated to do your will. Refresh my soul, awaken all the fibers in my being to do SOMETHING GREAT IN YOUR NAME! :) amen, I desire for you to be pleased with my life. So change me lord, every day!