7 Reasons Not To Match Wits With Children

7 Reasons Not To Match Wits With Children


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible
for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very
large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.


A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She
would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'


A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year
old's. After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
From the back, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'


One day a little girl was sitting and
watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly
noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking
out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively
asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you
do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation
for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs
are white?'


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each
to buy a copy of the group picture.'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,

'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer,
she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.
'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'
A little fellow shouted,'Cause your feet ain't empty.'


The children were
lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a
note, and posted on the apple tray:
'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples...'

Not sure if these are real life or not, but for a real life story.

A few years ago I was a helper on a children's camp. There was one 7
year old boy, a real mischievous cheeky chap. The sort who was naughty
but funny at the same time.

In the mornings for an hour we had a fun/games/bible time with quizzes and
prizes, sort of a souped up Sunday school.

That morning the story included a bit about the Pharasees who were like white
washed tombs on the outside but full of dead men's bones.

Then we went out for a day trip around the nearby town which had lots of things
to do. Some of the kids wanting to look around the big cathedral so we took them
in small groups.


One group included this cheeky chap, there was lots of tourists also visiting as we
went inside. He was wearing a baseball cap back to front and strolled in with the
rest of the group looking around and pointing things out.

Then suddenly one of the priests came over and knocked his cap off his head! He said
to show some respect and it was wrong to wear a cap in the house of God!
Before anyone had chance to react, this kid just yelled at the top of his voice.
"You're a Pharasee, full of dead men's bones!"

We just started laughing it was so funny, just couldn't help it. This priest just stood looking
like a goldfish, opening and closing his mouth not knowing what to say!

I bet that was the first time he had ever been called a Pharisee by anyone! We didn't
hang around to see what he thought, but I tell you the kid did us proud. Lol