A CAREER IN PUNS

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I

ib4gzus

Guest
#1
A CAREER IN PUNS


My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

Then, I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker; but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next, was a job in a shoe factory. I tried but I couldn't fit in. I became depressed and soulful.

Then there was the professional fisherman job. But I discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as an historian -- until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.:)
 
Jul 24, 2010
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#2
So many bad puns... blood dripping out ears... brain turning to mush... gaaaah!!! :p
 
K

Kyouken

Guest
#3
Terrible puns, but puns are puns, after all. Clever, and very punny! I enjoyed the read!
 
S

Steve4U

Guest
#4
I tried being a carpenter but wood knot.

The boss said "we'll finish the building next week". So I did.

I just don't understand what they mean.

I got a job icing cakes, but they all went cold on me.

I saw an ad "fencing - own gear", but the boss hated my foils. (It was most cutting.)

I saw an ad for a hammerhand. I looked at mine. They were soft and flat.

(At least I had nails.)

I saw "tree fellas wanted", but I was on my own.

Then I walked into a timber yard. It was a lot bigger than I thought.

It was good. They paid on Thursday. So why work after that?

The boss said "if you don't come on Friday, don't bother coming Monday."

Yipee, a four-day weekend, just like that!

On Tuesday he seemed to have changed his mind.

..I got the sack! (and there was nothing in it.)

(So I'll collect rubbish while I can -- I fed up with being hungry.)
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
haha... funny ones, IB4... oh, and hi (=