Can You Bring It? How Funny can you Be???

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cookie39

cookie39

Senior Member
#1
Oct 5, 2009
616
12
18
#1
Can you make a clean funny using the bible scriptures ? I will start.

n older preacher told the story of a young minister interviewing for his first pastorate. The Pulpit Committee had invited him to come over to their church for the interview. The committee chairman asked, "Son, do you know the Bible pretty good?"

The young minister said, "Yes, pretty good." The chairman asked, "Which part do you know best?" He responded saying, "I know the New Testament best." "Which part of the New Testament do you know best," asked the chairman. The young minister said, "Several parts." The chairman said, "Well, why don't you tell us the story of the Prodigal Son." The young man said, "Fine."

"There was a man of the Pharisees name Nicodemus, who went down to Jericho by night and he fell upon stony ground and the thorns choked him half to death.

"The next morning Solomon and his wife, Gomorrah, came by, and carried him down to the ark for Moses to take care of. But, as he was going through the Eastern Gate into the Ark, he caught his hair in a limb and he hung there forty days and forty nights and he afterwards did hunger. And, the ravens came and fed him.

"The next day, the three wise men came and carried him down to the boat dock and he caught a ship to Ninevah. And when he got there he found Delilah sitting on the wall. He said, "Chunk her down, boys, chunk her down." And, they said, "How many times shall we chunk her down, till seven time seven?" And he said, "Nay, but seventy times seven." And they chucked her down four hundred and ninety times.

"And, she burst asunder in their midst. And they picked up twelve baskets of the leftovers. And, in the resurrection whose wife shall she be?"

The Committee chairman suddenly interrupted the young minister and said to the remainder of the committee, "Fellows, I think we ought to ask the church to call him as our minister.

He is awfully young, but he sure does know his Bible."



I didn't think this myself.
But I will bring it. What about You? are you weak or is you dry bones? or Can You Bring IT?
God bless, A Time To Laugh.
 
cookie39

cookie39

Senior Member
#2
Oct 5, 2009
616
12
18
#2
The Cookie Bible..... The newest perversion,

I met these three women, they were triplets.
Mary the Mother of Jesus. Mary the mother of John, and Mary Magdelean. The Magdelean sisters was always wondering around the tombs, looking for oil and grave clothes. one day a angel name Solmon asked them; why you hang around the tombs there is a man with lots of demons and he will sell you to the swine if you don't get away from here.
the triplets, Mary, Mary and Mary said to the Angel if we cast him pearls he will let us by.

The Angel left and the triplets walk to the tomb a Abraham, and there outside the bolder that blocked it stood another angel holding a ladder. The Triplets... Mary, Mary and Mary magdelean ask him what thou doest with this ladder. he said he was holding it for Phillip, he ascended and have not descended yet. As they yet spoke someone was coming down the ladder; it was Jacob and Peter and they was wrestling with one another, and the twelve tribes of Isreal was coming from the temple mound carring Noah's Ark. they come to destroy the works of Gideon and place yokes on all the people so they have to serve Sin.
You see Sin was rich and had seven sons and seven daughter. Sin was a upright man he loved God and escewed goodness.
but God sent Adam and his daughter Eve to test the man Sin. but when adam and his wife got to the place where sin lived; He had gone on a journey to Jerusalem. And at Jerusalem Sin met his three friends at the Inn, Shadrech, Meshek and Abedigo. and there in the manger they had supper with Jesus and the prodigal son.
The prodigal son ask if he could be excused so he can go and get some of the new wine that was being sold down by the red sea, he said it is some good stuff, they make it right of of the sea and add some vingar and myrr and some of the special ingredients that come from an alabaster box. Man, said the prodigal son; ya ll might call me the best deacon in the world when it bring some back, he ask them can they help with the cost, for the price was thirty peices of silver. They all pitched in two mites.
The Prodigal son got down to the Red Sea, only to find Jonh the Baptist swimming with the caananites and over five thousand other people not counting the women and children. The prodigal son, whos name is Benjiman and whos dad owned the feild of treasures and the house of Isreal: He had deceived the people at the supper and never returned with their mites nor the new wine but went chasing after Dililah , Beelzebubs' wife and he had him arrested and thrown in a pit to be eaten by rust and moths.
But he escaped and ran to the tower of Bable and worked for Pharoah and Moses, they were brothers, twins "My bible" say that they were holding hands when they came out of their mother womb; who is Sarah. and he worked there for forty years; leaving the Tower of Bable, he went and built his kingdom in the land of dry bones; living all his days there with the rich man Lazarus and his 700 hundred wives and 300 hudred slaves.
this is the Cookie Bible,,, hope you enjoyed it with a good laugh... praise be to God for good humor.
 
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bafa

bafa

Senior Member
#3
Nov 30, 2014
178
5
18
#3
:)how funny can this be? i'm here now, i'm an angel Of God sent from heaven to throw your soul and your body to hell to be burned eternally?.. how about that?
;)ehehehe
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
#4
You seem to enjoy bringing up old, long dead threads, Bafa.
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#6
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#6
Well baseball was first mentioned in the Bible//// "In the big inning." Then it talked about the shortest man in the world//// Bildad, the shoe height. (in Job)
 
O

oldthennew

Guest
#7
#7
for some, satanic challenges are all that they have to keep them going,
but, we, who really know, it's is only another step,,,,,:rolleyes:
 
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