CRA Christians in Recovery (anonymous)

Thank You. It reminded me of something I recently read in a recovery Bible so I went looking.>

THE BIBLE AND THE 12 STEPS



Historians have traced the genesis of the 12 step programs in Alcoholics Anonymous back to the Oxford Group, an evangelistic movement from the early 1900s. Dr. Frank Buchman, a Lutheran minister from Pennsylvania Dutch heritage, was the founder of the Oxford Group. Dr. Buchman experienced a spiritual transformation in 1908 as he visited a small church in Cumberland. Envisioning the suffering face of the crucified Christ, he realized how his resentments had separated himself from God's unconditional love. He surrendered his will and willfulness to God and began to share his experience with others. His work and following grew, with groups eventually at Oxford, Princeton, Yale, Harvard, Williams, Smith and Vassar. Outreach was conducted through house meetings and members were encouraged to find and work with people who suffered from problems similar to their own.

Bill Wilson, one of the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, traced his journey to sobriety through the Oxford group. After being visited by an old friend, Ebby Thatcher, who was restored to sobriety through the Oxford Group, Bill W. was told the principles of the Oxford Group. He described his conversion experience from that night 20 years after the event in Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age: A Brief History of A.A., p. 63:


"My depression deepened unbearably and finally it seemed to me as though
were at the very bottom of the pit. I still gagged badly at the notion of a Power greater than myself, but finally, just for the moment, the last vestige of my proud obstinacy was crushed. All at once I found myself crying out, 'If there is a God, let Him show Himself! I am ready to do anything, anything!'


Suddenly, the room lit up with a great white light. I was caught up into an ecstasy which there are no words to describe. It seemed to me, in the mind's eye, that I was on a mountain and that a wind not of air but of spirit was blowing. And then it burst upon me that I was a free man. Slowly the ecstasy subsided. I lay on the bed, but now for a time I was in another world, a new world of consciousness. All about me and through me there was a wonderful feeling of Presence, and I thought to myself, 'So this is the God of the preachers!' A great peace stole over me and I thought, 'No matter how wrong things seem to be, they are still all right. Things are all right with God and His world.'"


In the subsequent development of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson eventually distanced himself from the Oxford Group in order to reach out to Catholics and other groups who were uncomfortable with the evangelical emphasis.
However, many of the traditions of the Oxford Group continue in the A.A. approach and the Bible remains a foundation for recovery for many of those in A.A. and other 12 Step groups.


Commentaries on the Bible are presented in this section of our web site in light of the 12 Step program. Please click on a link in the side panel to see Bible verses grouped according to a given step number. These comments are primarily the thoughts of one commentator from 12Step.org, so please take them with a grain of salt and, as the 12 step saying goes, "Take what you need and leave the rest". If you feel any of these commentaries need correction, please feel free to contact us.

The idea of testimony can be seen throughout the Bible. In Mark 5:19, Jesus told Legion to go home and tell others about how God took away his demons and restored his sanity. David proclaimed God's faithfulness, majesty, and righteousness throughout the Psalms, including in praise psalms like Psalm 146

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2019 - FRIENDS IN TIME OF NEED
Audio for FRIENDS IN TIME OF NEED
Currently, residents of some countries are fearful about the test missiles that are flying in their air space. In an expected time of need the leadership of these countries are looking for solidarity, friendship, and military support from other nations. Yesterday men and women who fought in past wars paraded to cenotaphs around our country and we were reminded once again that in war we need friends who will stand shoulder to shoulder with us and fight for freedom from oppression.
One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Proverbs 18:24, Hebrews 13:5b NIV)

In the fight to overcome our addiction we too need friends. Our recovery will not come easily. It's important not to be arrogant and think we are stronger or less vulnerable than others. We need friends to come alongside us, and we need to come alongside others who are challenged and need support as they face their struggles. We need to encourage each other by sharing our experience, strength, and hope on the journey to freedom.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:35, 37 NIV)



All of us need the friendship of God who promises to never leave us nor forsake us. We need God’s Holy Spirit living in us to provide the strength we need to resist temptation. With God’s power at work within us, we have the assurance that even though we face strong enemies of our soul, we will ultimately win the war.
Prayer: Loving God, Help me to live in healthy committed friendships as I move forward in my recovery. Give me the wisdom to listen to, and apply as appropriate, the experience, strength and hope that others share. Thank you for your love that holds me close and shelters me in times of trouble. Amen
©2019 Partners in Hope

There is no magical formula for change. But there are some helpful principles. First of all, change happens little by little. Our capacity for trust grows more and more, and our ability to love and to receive love increases. These changes, like all of the most important changes in life, do not happen as a one-time event. An important change may require us to make a decision at a certain moment, but it also requires a process that takes place over months and years.

Second, Change is not a race. The change process cannot be rushed. We often want to hurry it up, but we can't. Change that is real and long-lasting requires patience and perseverance. When we have been practicing our dysfunctions for decades, we can expect it on learning them will also take time.

Third, Change requires that we practice the principles of honesty and fellowship. There is no recovery unless we find ways to move out of denial and isolation. What a wonderful gift it is to be able to share our struggles and victories with people who will always thank God for us and who will encourage us, affirm us and hold us accountable.


(co NIV Recovery Devotional Bible)

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2019 - REMEMBER YOUR CREATOR
Audio for REMEMBER YOUR CREATOR
Ten times in just a few verses from the Bible we are told by a wise king that we should remember our creator. While we are young, through all the different seasons and troubles of life, all the way to the vulnerability of life when the "silver cord is cut" and our bodies return to the dust from which we came and our spirit goes back to God who gave us life, we are to remember God.

Remember your Creator. Remember him while you are still young. Think about him before your times of trouble come… Remember your Creator before those who guard the house tremble with old age… Remember your Creator before the front doors are closed… Remember your Creator before you become afraid of places that are too high… Remember your Creator before the almond trees have buds on them… Remember your Creator before the silver cord is cut. Remember him before the golden bowl is broken… Remember your Creator before you return to the dust you came from. Remember him before your spirit goes back to God who gave it. (Ecclesiastes 12:1, 3-7 NIRV)

If we remember our creator, we know for sure that our life is not our own and we will humble ourselves before God and seek to know His ways. If we remember our creator, we will be aware that life and health come from God alone and we will come before Him daily to receive His blessing and provision. If we remember our creator, then no matter what circumstances we face we will know we are safe, and that God will get us to the other side. We will never get lost in pride when things are going well for us, and we won't live in despair or addiction when we face problems. We will remember that God is on our side, God is working out His plans for us, and nothing can stand in His way. If we remember our creator when we are faced with illness or death, we will have great peace knowing that the loving hands of God are holding us. When our days on earth are complete, God will welcome us into His eternal presence.

Prayer: Creator God, it’s so easy to get lost in the details of my own plans and daily living. Help me to remember that it is from You I received the gift of life and to You I will return. Help me to live in honour of Your name so that the inheritance I have received from You is evident to all who know me. Amen

©2019 Partners in Hope

November 13, 2019 . . . . . . . . . . . . Not perfect . . . . . . Page 331
"We are not going to be perfect. If we were perfect, we would not be human." Basic Text, p. 31

All of us had expectations about life in recovery. Some of us thought recovery would suddenly make us employable or able to do anything in the world we wanted to do. Or maybe we imagined perfect ease in our interactions with others. When we stop and think, we realize that we expected recovery would make us perfect. We didn't expect to continue making many mistakes. But we do. That's not the addict side of us showing through; that's being human.

In Narcotics Anonymous we strive for recovery, not perfection. The only promise we are given is freedom from active addiction. Perfection is not an attainable state for human beings; it's not a realistic goal. What we often seek in perfection is freedom from the discomfort of making mistakes. In return for that freedom from discomfort, we trade our curiosity, our flexibility, and the room to grow.

We can consider the trade: Do we want to live the rest of our lives in our well-defined little world, safe but perhaps stifled? Or do we wish to venture out into the unknown, take a risk, and reach for everything life has to offer?

Just for Today: I want all that life has to offer me and all that recovery
can provide. Today, I will take a risk, try something new, and grow.

Just For Today . . . . . Not just surviving . . . . . . November 14, 2019

“When we were using, our lives became an exercise in survival.
Now we are doing much more living than surviving.” Basic Text, p. 52

“I’d be better off dead!” A familiar refrain to a practicing addict, and with good reason. All we had to look forward to was more of the same miserable existence. Our hold on life was weak at best. Our emotional decay, our spiritual demise, and the crushing awareness that nothing would ever change were constants. We had little hope and no concept of the life we were missing out on.
The resurrection of our emotions, our spirits, and our physical health takes time. The more experience we gain in living, rather than merely existing, the more we understand how precious and delightful life can be. Traveling, playing with a small child, making love, expanding our intellectual horizons, and forming relationships are among the endless activities that say, “I’m alive.” We discover so much to cherish and feel grateful to have a second chance.
If we had died in active addiction, we would have been bitterly deprived of so many of life’s joys. Each day we thank a Power greater than ourselves for another day clean and another day of life.

Just for today: I am grateful to be alive. I will do something today to celebrate.

Hey I'm new here. I'm a recovering porn addict and I'm just looking for a place I can chat and get support. Not sure if there's a better place on this site for this kind of thing.

Nov

14


THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2019 - FACING FAILURE
Audio for FACING FAILURE
There is a desire in each one of us to succeed, to win, to excel, yet often when we have been asked to do something, we allow thoughts of failure to overcome us before we even start. The fear of failure terrifies us and takes away our hope.





We risk failure when we set our goals too high. A sense of inadequacy follows, and we find ourselves filled with shame and embarrassment because we failed to accomplish the impossible goal we set. God created us and knows each of our limitations. His expectation is that we use the gifts we have been given and, with His help and guidance, do the best that we can in each circumstance we encounter. Trying to be what God never intended us to be is a sure recipe for failure.

This I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every Morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:21-23 NIV)



Another kind of failure we face is the failure that comes from sin. We settle for less than we could be or have. We wallow in resentments. We hold grudges. We cling to unhealthy ways of living. We live according to our own human plans instead of God’s good, pleasing and perfect plan. We often embrace violence instead of peace, self-centeredness instead of caring, hatred instead of love, despair instead of hope.


The power of the Holy Spirit has made me free from the power of sin and death. This power is mine because I belong to Christ Jesus. We thank God for the power Christ has given us. He leads us and makes us win in everything. (Romans 8:2, 2 Corinthians 2:14a NLV)


When we choose to live God’s way rather than our own way, we will no longer set ourselves up for failure. We will have the satisfying experience of peace in our hearts. As we submit to God, He will direct us in the way we are to go, and we will accomplish those things He has planned in advance for us to do.


Prayer: Loving God, Forgive me for the times my sin has caused me to live in failure. Help me to live in Your plan for my life, doing just those things You have planned for me. Help me to commit myself to instruction and to listen carefully to Your words of knowledge. Help me to choose those things You have given me to do. Amen

©2019 Partners in Hope

Contrary to my early Christian training, the words of decision do not get one’s whole life and will turned over to God. When I was told this in the program, and I realized it was true--otherwise why would I spend so much of my time trying to get control—I asked my sponsor, “if saying the words doesn’t turn my will and my life over to God, how will I do it?”



He smiled and said “That’s what Steps Four through Twelve are; the way to turn our whole lives—past, future and present—over to God. Christians often do what we call the ‘Twelve-Step Waltz’: One-Two-Three, One- Two- Three, One- Two- Three. They see that they need God, see that their lives aren’t working, and they commit their lives to Christ, again and again. But,” my sponsor paused and said thoughtfully, “not many of them go on to get spiritually well, they just keep making verbal commitments of their lives to Christ. Thank God we have the Steps to keep going spiritually!”



Once you decide to give your life and will to Him, the other Steps are designed to remove the blocks, the things that keep you from surrendering your bruised, self-defeating past and becoming that person God made you to be. Steps Four through Twelve slowly reveal to you the things that have always kept you from being happy, and free, from having good boundaries, from being creative and loving, and doing God’s will, and they show you how to surrender these things to God.

Just For Today . . . . . . Letting go . . . . . . November 15

“Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live." Basic Text, p. 26

How do we begin the process of letting our Higher Power guide our lives? When we seek advice about situations that trouble us, we often find that our Higher Power works through others. When we accept that we don’t have all the answers, we open ourselves to new and different options. A willingness to let go of our preconceived ideas and opinions opens the channel for spiritual guidance to light our way.

At times, we must be driven to the point of distraction before we are ready to turn difficult situations over to our Higher Power. Anxiously plotting, struggling, planning, worrying—none of these suffice. We can be sure that if we turn our problems over to our Higher Power, through listening to others share their experience or in the quiet of meditation, the answers will come.

There is no point in living a frantic existence. Charging through life like the house is on fire exhausts us and gets us nowhere. In the long run, no amount of manipulation on our part will change a situation. When we let go and allow ourselves access to a Higher Power, we will discover the best way to proceed. Rest assured, answers derived from a sound spiritual basis will be far superior to any answers we could concoct on our own.

Just for today: I will let go and let my Higher Power guide my life.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2019 - ENTIRELY READY FOR DEFECTS TO BE REMOVED

Steps six and seven: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these
defects of character." "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

Requesting that God remove all our defects of character is asking Him to rid us of everything within that hinders our ability to live life to the full. By reading God’s Word we have come to know that God loves us and is committed to taking care of us. We are precious in God’s sight. Focusing on this enduring relationship of unfailing love and care will enable us to obey His commands and walk in His ways.

The Lord is good and does what is right; he shows the proper path to those who go astray. He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them his way. The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep his covenant and obey his demands. (Psalm 25:8-10 NLT)

To experience life to the full we must choose for God’s way each time His direction conflicts with what we believe is a better way. Character defects are removed as we become willing to follow God’s principles instead of our own way.

“Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10 NIV)

Any other conversation with God is our way of defending, rebelling, bargaining, or engaging in a useless exercise of trying to manipulate the God of heaven and earth to consent to what we want.

Becoming willing to have God remove all our defects of character is a bit like dealing with dirty clothes. We don’t put clean clothes on top of dirty clothes. That would give the appearance of change while we are just covering up what is dirty and needs to be removed. When sinful habits and defects of character are revealed, we need to give God permission to remove these, cleanse us fully, and then put on our new self which has been renewed in the knowledge of God our creator.

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me—now let me rejoice. (Psalm 51:7-8 NLT)

Prayer: Heavenly Father, Help me to be willing to have all my defects of character removed.
Help me to live each day as a new creation, entirely surrendered to your will and your ways. Amen

PS: Bob is experiencing technical difficulties, so I have posted this in his stead

Just For Today . . . Alone no more . . . . .Saturday November 16

"We gradually and carefully pull ourselves out of the isolation and
loneliness of addiction and into the mainstream of life." Basic Text, p. 37

Many of us spent much of our using time alone, avoiding other people-especially people who were not using-at all costs. After years of isolation, trying to find a place for ourselves in a bustling, sometimes boisterous fellowship is not always easy. We may still feel isolated, focusing on our differences rather than our similarities. The overwhelming feelings that often arise in early recovery-feelings of fear, anger, and mistrust-can also keep us isolated. We may feel like aliens but we must remember, the alienation is ours, not NA's.

In Narcotics Anonymous, we are offered a very special opportunity for friendship. We are brought together with people who understand us like no one else can. We are encouraged to share with these people our feelings, our problems, our triumphs, and our failures. Slowly, the recognition and identification we find in NA bridge the lonely gap of alienation in our hearts. As we've heard it said: the program works, if we let it.

Just for Today: The friendship of other members of the fellowship is a life-sustaining
gift. I will reach out for the friendship that's offered in NA, and accept it.

PS: I forgot to mention that my post above this one was from Partners in Hope

I'm new to
Smartphone's the keys are to small. And seem tedious
so I'll be doing less posting this took about 45 min.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 2019 - SUPPORTIVE

When we are not feeling good about ourselves or our performance and someone takes the time to encourage us with kind words, we immediately start to feel better. Kind words are like scaffolding that helps support our confidence as we move forward. Early recovery is not easy and requires patience amid the chaos. If we have been in recovery for a time, we need to continue to be patient with ourselves and supportive of those who are just newbies on the path. “Rome was not built in a day” is a true saying.

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24 NKJV)

Attending recovery meetings is a way to be supported and give support to others. Being truthful about where we are at or what we have learned, may help another person. Honouring each person’s role is important as well as following the principle of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Doing our best to not provoke anger in another is another way to be supportive. We need to bless and pray for each other. God said people were to support and bless others with the following words:

May the Lord bless you and take good care of you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord look on you with favor and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24-26 NIRV)

When we pray for discernment in how to bless a person, God will give us the appropriate words to say. If we follow this path of seeking God’s input, all our words will be supportive and an encouragement to those who hear them.

Let us stop judging one another. Instead, decide not to put anything in the way of a brother or sister. Don’t put anything in their way that would make them trip and fall. (Romans 14:13 NIRV)

Prayer: Loving God, Please keep me from causing a person to stumble by the words I speak. Set a watch over my mouth so that my words are always sweet to another’s soul and health to their whole body. Help me to be like scaffolding, supportive in all my ways. Amen! From Partners in Hope.

It's probably going to sound strange but I am not an addict or anything, yet I still feel my place is here. I am a P K with a very dysfunctional family of origin. My sister's and I walked through the fires of our terrible childhood and came out the other side. I grew up with a "legal" addict for a mom and a minister father who ended up in jail for reasons many young girls can understand. I married an addict, my sister is an addict, and most of my family are addicts. Four of my five children have varying degrees of addiction so I am very comfortable around addicts. I divorced my addict husband at 23 and married a wonderful man (my gift from God) and we have been married for 23 years. Well my kids are now mostly out of the house. But they're addicts so they come back alot. My husband and I have recently made a decision. We are moving from the home we raised our children in, to a smaller house with less room and a lock on the door to all addicts. We have officially had enough. I could run through the list of crimes against us, the laws of morality, and government, and list their offenses. But I'm sure you know the routine. Please don't get me wrong, I am in no way passing judgement on anyone. And I am as big of a sinner as anyone. Saved by Grace and praying constantly for strength every day just to make it through. Sorry about the post length but I thought you might need some background. My question is, do you think we are making a mistake not allowing our addict children and nieces and nephews to live with us? I don't want to be an uncaring parent, but we are so tired and broke and old(and age wise we are not that old). I have four grandchildren. Only one lives with their parent and that one is iffy. But I am so afraid I am not doing this right. My husband has had it and refuses to even discuss it, but I am a mother, it's just not something in my DNA. I think the biggest problem is, I don't get it. I am 48 and all my life I have never understood the concept of addiction. If something is ruining your life, or your kid you walk away or run if you have to. I raised my children carefully and attentively. Church, sports, activities, family dinners, open communication, minimum tv, the whole works. I didn't have a quarter of what they were given from my parents. I haven't talked to my mother since I was in my 30's. I realize I am at fault here but I need help and guidance, and understanding because I JUST DON'T GET IT. Can anyone help?

Hello @sunshinedebbie My heart goes out to you in your situation with your children and extended family. I do believe you are doing the right thing not to enable your children to take advantage of you so they can carry on using while more serious consequences are being delayed. It is also important for you to realize that you are not responsible for the choices your grown children have made and continue to make regarding their substance abuse. That you stand fast with your God-sent husband on this issue is important as well, presenting a united front. Let your boundaries be known, and maintain them. Otherwise you simply open yourself up to being trampled again and again by the enemy, and as Christians, we know who that enemy is.

Addiction has many faces and causes, but the outcome for most addicts is the same if not checked: jails, institutions, and death. Nobody wants to see any of those things befall their children or any of their loved ones. The sooner your loved ones hit bottom and realize they need help, and then ask for that help and pursue a healthier lifestyle, the sooner they can turn their lives around. Until that happens, I think the decision you and your husband have made is sound.

In the thirty plus years I have been attending meetings I have heard many talk about how much they used and abused their parents' goodwill and anyone who allowed them so they keep using, and also heard the other side, of people being used and abused because they thought their love would/should/could be enough to cure the addict in their life. It is very sad indeed that you cannot shelter and protect them as you would desire. Nar-Anon or Al-Anon may be a good place for you to be around like minded people facing the same issues, as you pray for their deliverance. Place hope in His pursuit of them. Your best participation in the lives of your addict children will be one of carrying the message, not the mess.

I found this prayer for you, and pray it with you and your husband for the healing of your loved ones:

Father God, we thank You for all of creation and we thank You for the gift of our family, friends and loved ones in our lives. We thank You that we can be a blessing to them, and that they can in return can be a blessing to us when needed. We thank You for the gift of Jesus Christ, and also for the sacrifice of Jesus for all of our sins. We praise You God, Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ.

Lord, you as our creator, we trust in Your name so we call for Your help day and night. Lord, You know how I feel every moment when I think of (Name Here). It hurts to see (Name Here) being ill both physically and mentally from the effects of drugs.

Heavenly Father I lift up (Name Here) to You and ask for mercy to give (his/her) life back and to show (Name Here) that through Your Mercy and Grace they can live a clean life again. Help (Name Here) hit rock bottom Lord so this vicious cycle of abuse will stop. Open (Name Here)’s heart to the truth and take away the confusion of this world and remove the influence of the devil and his demons that might have a stronghold in (Name Here)’s life. We acknowledge that some addictions are of human nature, but with some God, we acknowledge that the enemy is trying to destroy a person or household.

God place Your loving arms of protection around (Name Here), and surround (Name Here) with a battalion of Guardian Angels. Lord God, I believe that the Army of Heaven is greater than the Army of darkness and I believe that (Name Here) will overcome any satanic influence in their life.

Remove those enablers from (Name Here)’s life. Remove those who perpetuate the use of drugs, or have an influence on (Name here)’s life. Surround (Name Here) with only clean, good, wholesome, God fearing people who positively support them- not seek to drag them down. Prayer source

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Debbie, you may also benefit from the writings of Melody Beattie on co-dependence. I hope you are able to find peace for yourself in this situation as you lay all your cares on Him Who loves us with an everlasting Love.

Hope for healing

Great Physician, lay Your hands upon me. Bring me health, strength, forgiveness,
goodness and sanity. Help me receive Your loving touch with hope and joy.

An old folk proverb goes: "It ain't what you don't know that hurts you; it's what you know that ain't so." Before our walk in 12-step programs, how many opinions did we have that we now know just "ain't so"? We thought the primary cause of our slavery was our weakness, or our sinfulness, or our insanity. Above all, we thought we were hopelessly lost, even cursed and damned. Many such thoughts flowed through us. But they "ain't so"!

The good news of recovery and of Christian life is that what we once thought is wrong! We are sick, and need to be healed. Our addiction is a disease that we did not choose. Yes, we are also weak, sinful and crazy at times, but our primary condition is being sick. Of course, we need to be forgiven, strengthened, cleansed and enlightened, but first we need healing. First things first. We cannot even see what is really strong, good, or sane until we find healing.

The best part of what "ain't so" is that we are not necessarily lost, cursed, or damned because of our addiction. There is hope. That hope is where it has always been: in "Christ Jesus our hope" (1 Timothy 1:1). He is our physician, and His practice extends everywhere: in our 12-step fellowship, in the church, and wherever the sick cry out from darkness and distress.

A famous minister was once told by a person he helped, "You are a good man." His reply was, "I am not a good man. I am sinful, selfish and sick; Jesus Christ has laid His hands on me, that is all." And that is everything. A. Philip Parham

Ephesians 3:16-19

November 17, 2019 . . . . . . Walking through the pain . . . Page 335

"We never have to use again, no matter how we feel. All feelings will eventually pass." Basic Text, p. 82

It hurts like never before. You get out of bed after a sleepless night, talk to God, and still don't feel any better. "It will pass," a little voice tells you. "When?" you wonder, as you pace and mutter and get on with your day.

You sob in your car and turn the radio all the way up so you can't hear your own thoughts. But you go straight to work, and don't even think about using drugs.

Your insides feel as though they've been torched. Just when the pain becomes unbearable, you go numb and silent. You go to a meeting and wish you were as happy as other members seem to be. But you don't relapse.

You cry some more and call your sponsor. You drive to a friend's house and don't even notice the beautiful scenery because your inner landscape is so bleak. You may not feel any better after visiting your friend - but at least you didn't visit the connection instead.

You listen to a Fifth Step. You share at a meeting. You look at the calendar and realize you've gotten through another day clean.
Then one day you wake up, look outside, and realize it's a beautiful day. The sun is shining. The sky is blue. You take a deep breath, smile again, and know that it really does pass.

Just for Today: No matter how I feel today, I'll go on with my recovery.