Okay, so I'm not sure exactly where this thread belongs. I posted it in the Women's forum, but after a conversation tonight in the lounge, I felt the need to share it openly......for men and women to read. Here goes...........
This will be a long read, but I hope you find it worth your time.
I have been considering telling my story for a long time. I hear so many Christians talk horribly about teen moms. I hear the judgment and the ridicule, and it cuts me to the bone. I'm sure you can guess why - yep. I was a teen mom.
For those of you who demonstrate compassion and understanding to young ladies who become moms way too early, this isn't really written for you. It is written to those who cannot find it in their hearts to forgive a young girl's mistake.
However, I do want to warn you - my story isn't one of roses and unicorns. It's hard. It's heartbreaking. But, it's my story. And if by telling it, I can get one person to think before passing judgment on young girls who already have it tough enough, it will have been worth it.
I had my beautiful daughter 3 days before I turned 18. During my pregnancy, I walked the halls of my high school with my head hung low, knowing that I was just trash to so many people. But, I knew that if my daughter was to have a future, that is the price I had to pay. I sat in front of my band director, who told me that I had ruined my life and I'd be better off to have an abortion. I went into class after class where the teacher would look down their nose at me more harshly as the days went by. I didn't really need them to say it. I knew it. I was a disappointment. I heard the whispers. I cried myself to sleep.
But not one of those people knew even part of my story. They didn't know how many times I'd said no, only to find myself "single" and unacceptable again. They would never know that I got pregnant the first time I'd had sex, and that we were using protection. They would never know that one thought....ONE THOUGHT....went through my mind that would change my life forever.
"You're not a virgin anyway. Why do you keep saying no?"
And in that moment, I said yes. You see, I wasn't the pure, perfect, Straight A student they all thought I was to begin with. I was filthy, worthless and dying inside.
You see, I hadn't been a "virgin" since I was 8 when a member of my family decided that innocence would no longer be mine. For four years, I'd been a victim of abuse. Over and over. To explain the impact this took emotionally, spiritually, sexually would take much more time than either of us has.
See - none of the people who judged me, who made me feel even more worthless than I already felt, knew any of that. Would it have made a difference in how they treated me if they had? Probably. But, why am I more deserving of compassion than any other teen mom?
You don't know her story. I promise you. You can't make them feel any worse than they already do. You telling them what a BIG MISTAKE they made isn't a news flash. They already know. Instead, demonstrate the love of Christ that allows you to accept the sinner even when you loathe the sin.
So, how does it all turn out for me? Well, there are so many stories wrapped up into my Happily Ever After. Let me see if I can give you the run down.
Like the "good Christian" that I was trying to become, I married the father of my child.
He was an adulturer and abusive.
I divorced him, after finding out that I had Biblical grounds for divorce.
I married the love of my life, who adopted my daughter after her deadbeat dad signed away his rights.
After 10 long years, I finished my Bachelor's and realized my dream of becoming a teacher.
I FORGAVE. Yes, I forgave my abuser and began living a life full of freedom and happiness.
I GREW in the Lord and have accepted His forgiveness.
I have two beautiful children, a husband sent directly from God and a brand new Grandbaby.
You see - I used to define God by my circumstances. But I've learned to define my circumstances by my God!
That's it. I hope that you are happy that you read my story, and I pray that somehow, it will make a difference in some young lady's life.
This will be a long read, but I hope you find it worth your time.
I have been considering telling my story for a long time. I hear so many Christians talk horribly about teen moms. I hear the judgment and the ridicule, and it cuts me to the bone. I'm sure you can guess why - yep. I was a teen mom.
For those of you who demonstrate compassion and understanding to young ladies who become moms way too early, this isn't really written for you. It is written to those who cannot find it in their hearts to forgive a young girl's mistake.
However, I do want to warn you - my story isn't one of roses and unicorns. It's hard. It's heartbreaking. But, it's my story. And if by telling it, I can get one person to think before passing judgment on young girls who already have it tough enough, it will have been worth it.
I had my beautiful daughter 3 days before I turned 18. During my pregnancy, I walked the halls of my high school with my head hung low, knowing that I was just trash to so many people. But, I knew that if my daughter was to have a future, that is the price I had to pay. I sat in front of my band director, who told me that I had ruined my life and I'd be better off to have an abortion. I went into class after class where the teacher would look down their nose at me more harshly as the days went by. I didn't really need them to say it. I knew it. I was a disappointment. I heard the whispers. I cried myself to sleep.
But not one of those people knew even part of my story. They didn't know how many times I'd said no, only to find myself "single" and unacceptable again. They would never know that I got pregnant the first time I'd had sex, and that we were using protection. They would never know that one thought....ONE THOUGHT....went through my mind that would change my life forever.
"You're not a virgin anyway. Why do you keep saying no?"
And in that moment, I said yes. You see, I wasn't the pure, perfect, Straight A student they all thought I was to begin with. I was filthy, worthless and dying inside.
You see, I hadn't been a "virgin" since I was 8 when a member of my family decided that innocence would no longer be mine. For four years, I'd been a victim of abuse. Over and over. To explain the impact this took emotionally, spiritually, sexually would take much more time than either of us has.
See - none of the people who judged me, who made me feel even more worthless than I already felt, knew any of that. Would it have made a difference in how they treated me if they had? Probably. But, why am I more deserving of compassion than any other teen mom?
You don't know her story. I promise you. You can't make them feel any worse than they already do. You telling them what a BIG MISTAKE they made isn't a news flash. They already know. Instead, demonstrate the love of Christ that allows you to accept the sinner even when you loathe the sin.
So, how does it all turn out for me? Well, there are so many stories wrapped up into my Happily Ever After. Let me see if I can give you the run down.
Like the "good Christian" that I was trying to become, I married the father of my child.
He was an adulturer and abusive.
I divorced him, after finding out that I had Biblical grounds for divorce.
I married the love of my life, who adopted my daughter after her deadbeat dad signed away his rights.
After 10 long years, I finished my Bachelor's and realized my dream of becoming a teacher.
I FORGAVE. Yes, I forgave my abuser and began living a life full of freedom and happiness.
I GREW in the Lord and have accepted His forgiveness.
I have two beautiful children, a husband sent directly from God and a brand new Grandbaby.
You see - I used to define God by my circumstances. But I've learned to define my circumstances by my God!
That's it. I hope that you are happy that you read my story, and I pray that somehow, it will make a difference in some young lady's life.
