Forgive Me For I Have Sinned.

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Jun 21, 2017
220
5
18
#1
Confession, I broke down and kissed a girl twice seeing how I struggle with same sex attraction this is not a good thing. So I'd like to ask forgiveness from my brothers and sisters that struggle with this same issue.

I also would like to confess that I have been letting anger get the best of me, lately it seems my father really irritates me for no reason and I keep snapping over absolutely nothing. I confess, that he is extremely hard and difficult to take care of but that gives me no right to act like an immature little brat.

Lord, hear my confessions and forgive me.

Brothers, and sisters, hear my confessions and pray for me.
 

Blain

Senior Member
Aug 28, 2012
14,546
396
83
#2
We all have been found lacking and even the strongest of us go through seasons where we fall far more than we should I honestly wonder sometimes why God even bothers putting up with me but just know that in his eyes all of that is as if it never happened and move forwards knowing that even though you may stumble and may fall no matter how far or how many times he is always offering his hand with gentle eyes and a tender smile asking you to stand up and keep walking with him
 
F

FenceMan

Guest
#3
I'm sorry, PerfectlyImperfect... :(

Do you have an older Christian you can confide in about these things in person? I understand the desire to seek prayer anonymously on this website, but really it can't be a replacement for opening your heart in person to another Believer. I know it's harder, but it's very important. If someone close to you knows your struggle, it can help to serve as one more reason to say no to the temptations.

I guess in other words, if it seems possible to get away with things like this without hurting anyone (which is a lie straight from Satan, because it always will hurt someone, eventually, even if it's years later) then create a situation for yourself in which giving into temptations will hurt someone you love. If you have failed again, it will also break the heart of the person you are accountable to. It sounds backwards, but it does help.

I'm also curious how you ended up in a situation where kissing this girl was possible? Is it someone the Holy Spirit has been nudging you to avoid? Have you listened to Him? Obviously, the other girl was open to it, too, so something should have given you a clue that you shouldn't have been alone with her (if you were).

You've already sought forgiveness and confessed to God your sin. So, learn from it (make changes if need be) and let the mercy of God fill you with joy again. He saw what You did before you were even born and forgave it on the cross. Your battle (literally) with same-sex attraction has already been won from His perspective.

This doesn't mean you won't mess up again. In fact, it's safe to say you will. And don't be okay with that. But never let your sin, no matter how bad, separate you from Jesus. Satan loves to use guilt to pull us away from Him, too.

I recently read a book called "Worn Out By Obedience: Recovering from Spiritual Fatigue" by Ron Moore. Maybe you'd find it helpful. It's about feeling battle weary and how Satan can use weariness to lead us away from God. It also gives some points about how to withstand and recover from the weariness without giving in to Satan's tricks.

I don't know the author or anything, but I bought it on a whim and found it applied very well to where I am in my own faith. Though, I'm more on the side of finally recovering from spiritual fatigue.
 
Jun 21, 2017
220
5
18
#4
We all have been found lacking and even the strongest of us go through seasons where we fall far more than we should I honestly wonder sometimes why God even bothers putting up with me but just know that in his eyes all of that is as if it never happened and move forwards knowing that even though you may stumble and may fall no matter how far or how many times he is always offering his hand with gentle eyes and a tender smile asking you to stand up and keep walking with him
Thank you I needed to hear that.
 
Jun 21, 2017
220
5
18
#5
We all have been found lacking and even the strongest of us go through seasons where we fall far more than we should I honestly wonder sometimes why God even bothers putting up with me but just know that in his eyes all of that is as if it never happened and move forwards knowing that even though you may stumble and may fall no matter how far or how many times he is always offering his hand with gentle eyes and a tender smile asking you to stand up and keep walking with him
I'm sorry, PerfectlyImperfect... :(

Do you have an older Christian you can confide in about these things in person? I understand the desire to seek prayer anonymously on this website, but really it can't be a replacement for opening your heart in person to another Believer. I know it's harder, but it's very important. If someone close to you knows your struggle, it can help to serve as one more reason to say no to the temptations.

I guess in other words, if it seems possible to get away with things like this without hurting anyone (which is a lie straight from Satan, because it always will hurt someone, eventually, even if it's years later) then create a situation for yourself in which giving into temptations will hurt someone you love. If you have failed again, it will also break the heart of the person you are accountable to. It sounds backwards, but it does help.

I'm also curious how you ended up in a situation where kissing this girl was possible? Is it someone the Holy Spirit has been nudging you to avoid? Have you listened to Him? Obviously, the other girl was open to it, too, so something should have given you a clue that you shouldn't have been alone with her (if you were).

You've already sought forgiveness and confessed to God your sin. So, learn from it (make changes if need be) and let the mercy of God fill you with joy again. He saw what You did before you were even born and forgave it on the cross. Your battle (literally) with same-sex attraction has already been won from His perspective.

This doesn't mean you won't mess up again. In fact, it's safe to say you will. And don't be okay with that. But never let your sin, no matter how bad, separate you from Jesus. Satan loves to use guilt to pull us away from Him, too.

I recently read a book called "Worn Out By Obedience: Recovering from Spiritual Fatigue" by Ron Moore. Maybe you'd find it helpful. It's about feeling battle weary and how Satan can use weariness to lead us away from God. It also gives some points about how to withstand and recover from the weariness without giving in to Satan's tricks.

I don't know the author or anything, but I bought it on a whim and found it applied very well to where I am in my own faith. Though, I'm more on the side of finally recovering from spiritual fatigue.
It was just a bad, awful, very overwhelming, so called vacation I was suppose to be on. And the enemy convinced me that I did so good at resist all of her sexual advances or whatever. I somehow ended up thinking God was in the business of bargaining, and I just ended up kissing her, because at the time I just wanted to think about or feel something other than the awful situation I was in. And no unfortunately, I haven't found someone I can physically go to, because people aren't that understanding about this issue. So, I guess I let fear stop me from bringing it up, because I already have to fight the battle I don't want to be judged too. I really don't want it to happen again, because I'm sick of walking all the way back to the starting line. And I know for a fact Jesus can free me from this!
 

Blain

Senior Member
Aug 28, 2012
14,546
396
83
#6
It was just a bad, awful, very overwhelming, so called vacation I was suppose to be on. And the enemy convinced me that I did so good at resist all of her sexual advances or whatever. I somehow ended up thinking God was in the business of bargaining, and I just ended up kissing her, because at the time I just wanted to think about or feel something other than the awful situation I was in. And no unfortunately, I haven't found someone I can physically go to, because people aren't that understanding about this issue. So, I guess I let fear stop me from bringing it up, because I already have to fight the battle I don't want to be judged too. I really don't want it to happen again, because I'm sick of walking all the way back to the starting line. And I know for a fact Jesus can free me from this!
Well I know what it's like to not have anyone to physically go to but luckily I have many here in cc I can confide in. You don't have to fight this battle alone, true enough for some an online community may not be the same as a physical one but here you can have a family that will be there for you and help you in your struggles and your wars. And as for being sick of walking to that starting line boy do I know how you feel XD
 
Jun 21, 2017
220
5
18
#7
We all have been found lacking and even the strongest of us go through seasons where we fall far more than we should I honestly wonder sometimes why God even bothers putting up with me but just know that in his eyes all of that is as if it never happened and move forwards knowing that even though you may stumble and may fall no matter how far or how many times he is always offering his hand with gentle eyes and a tender smile asking you to stand up and keep walking with him
Well I know what it's like to not have anyone to physically go to but luckily I have many here in cc I can confide in. You don't have to fight this battle alone, true enough for some an online community may not be the same as a physical one but here you can have a family that will be there for you and help you in your struggles and your wars. And as for being sick of walking to that starting line boy do I know how you feel XD
Lol, yes if only I had a dollar for every time I had to go back to that starting line. But then again, once you finish the race, what else is there? Also, maybe God will bless me with the right counselor, when the time is right. But I do know I have you guys on cc, which really does help me be accountable. Also, I love the "Jesus knew more than anyone of us-Love hurts" is that from a book or you just made it up?
 

Blain

Senior Member
Aug 28, 2012
14,546
396
83
#8
Lol, yes if only I had a dollar for every time I had to go back to that starting line. But then again, once you finish the race, what else is there? Also, maybe God will bless me with the right counselor, when the time is right. But I do know I have you guys on cc, which really does help me be accountable. Also, I love the "Jesus knew more than anyone of us-Love hurts" is that from a book or you just made it up?
Well I wouldn't say I made it up, sometimes God will place an analogy or a phrase of words in my heart to speak so honestly I think God made it up and I simply wrote it out
 
Jun 21, 2017
220
5
18
#9
Well I wouldn't say I made it up, sometimes God will place an analogy or a phrase of words in my heart to speak so honestly I think God made it up and I simply wrote it out
I completely get that people sometimes tell me I'm wise beyond my years. I believe that is the wisdom God has blessed me with, coupled with all the things I've been through good or bad.
 
F

FenceMan

Guest
#10
It was just a bad, awful, very overwhelming, so called vacation I was suppose to be on. And the enemy convinced me that I did so good at resist all of her sexual advances or whatever. I somehow ended up thinking God was in the business of bargaining, and I just ended up kissing her, because at the time I just wanted to think about or feel something other than the awful situation I was in. And no unfortunately, I haven't found someone I can physically go to, because people aren't that understanding about this issue. So, I guess I let fear stop me from bringing it up, because I already have to fight the battle I don't want to be judged too. I really don't want it to happen again, because I'm sick of walking all the way back to the starting line. And I know for a fact Jesus can free me from this!
You might be surprised how understanding some Believers can be. It takes discernment and prayer, but I do think you should actively seek someone to confide in, in person. I've had to confess some very dark things to loved ones that I was sick to my stomach about having done, and the reaction was initially shock and disbelief and hurt. But afterwards, they were forgiving and sought to understand rather than judge. I hope you can find Christian friends like that.

Can Believers be judgmental? Certainly. But also don't disregard the fact that God is working in their hearts, too, and may even teach them an important lesson through you. And your struggle isn't really so rare or unheard of, even if it feels like it.

The friend I chose to open my heart to was someone who had shared his story in a small group setting, and I realized we shared a similar history. Not surprisingly (I know God was behind it all), that guy chose to pursue a friendship with me out of all the others and we continue to be good friends to this day and have very deep personal conversations about our walk with God.

Again, all this has to be done with prayer and seeking God's will and the right person or people to be open with. I don't recommend you go on the radio and announce your failings to the world or anything! :)

AND, I can 100% relate with feeling like you're back at the starting line over and over again. Yet, I don't think we are really. It just feels that way. I've kept journals for a few years, and when I look back it's amazing to see what God actually has done and what He's helped me overcome. It just doesn't feel like it in the present lots of times.
 
Jun 21, 2017
220
5
18
#11
You might be surprised how understanding some Believers can be. It takes discernment and prayer, but I do think you should actively seek someone to confide in, in person. I've had to confess some very dark things to loved ones that I was sick to my stomach about having done, and the reaction was initially shock and disbelief and hurt. But afterwards, they were forgiving and sought to understand rather than judge. I hope you can find Christian friends like that.

Can Believers be judgmental? Certainly. But also don't disregard the fact that God is working in their hearts, too, and may even teach them an important lesson through you. And your struggle isn't really so rare or unheard of, even if it feels like it.

The friend I chose to open my heart to was someone who had shared his story in a small group setting, and I realized we shared a similar history. Not surprisingly (I know God was behind it all), that guy chose to pursue a friendship with me out of all the others and we continue to be good friends to this day and have very deep personal conversations about our walk with God.

Again, all this has to be done with prayer and seeking God's will and the right person or people to be open with. I don't recommend you go on the radio and announce your failings to the world or anything! :)

AND, I can 100% relate with feeling like you're back at the starting line over and over again. Yet, I don't think we are really. It just feels that way. I've kept journals for a few years, and when I look back it's amazing to see what God actually has done and what He's helped me overcome. It just doesn't feel like it in the present lots of times.
It's just hard to find someone that's actually trying to walk with God. For instance, family members I've confided in (who go to church more than I do) have ended up leading me down the wrong path. Same as friends, because they have the world view on things instead of God's view. So for me its just finding someone that's genuinely a Christian however I know that means they won't be perfect. Also, I never looked at it as they may learn something through me or whatever. And maybe we're not starting all the way back over but I would say at least with that one weakness we're trying to overcome the most, if that makes sense.
 

Socreta93

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2015
1,819
52
48
#12
Fact that you know what you did was wrong and that you feel guilty about it is a start. He wevall struggle, surely I still do. Don't get discouraged. While yes correction is needed those who cast judgement torwards you is not good. I say keep praying and hope you continue to fight it this.
 
F

FenceMan

Guest
#13
It's just hard to find someone that's actually trying to walk with God. For instance, family members I've confided in (who go to church more than I do) have ended up leading me down the wrong path. Same as friends, because they have the world view on things instead of God's view. So for me its just finding someone that's genuinely a Christian however I know that means they won't be perfect. Also, I never looked at it as they may learn something through me or whatever. And maybe we're not starting all the way back over but I would say at least with that one weakness we're trying to overcome the most, if that makes sense.
I'm sorry to hear about your family and friends... One person I confided in once led me down the wrong path, as well... Not to be discouraging, but I was praying for my good friend for eleven years before God placed us in each other's paths. those were hard years, but God was faithful and got me through it even when I was failing miserably. Hold onto Him and trust Him with your future and He will do amazing things through you.
 
F

FenceMan

Guest
#14
Not to change the subject, but Socreta93 I really like that quote from Longfellow! Where is it from?
 

Socreta93

Senior Member
Jul 28, 2015
1,819
52
48
#15
Not to change the subject, but Socreta93 I really like that quote from Longfellow! Where is it from?
Idk where it's from, I just found it online looking for quotes about depression and I found this.
 
Jun 21, 2017
220
5
18
#16
Fact that you know what you did was wrong and that you feel guilty about it is a start. He wevall struggle, surely I still do. Don't get discouraged. While yes correction is needed those who cast judgement torwards you is not good. I say keep praying and hope you continue to fight it this.
Why thank you, I know every step towards God is a step in the right direction and I feel like as long as I go to him and keep going to him, in due time everything will be alright. I also, love the quote from Longfellow.
 
Jun 21, 2017
220
5
18
#17
I'm sorry to hear about your family and friends... One person I confided in once led me down the wrong path, as well... Not to be discouraging, but I was praying for my good friend for eleven years before God placed us in each other's paths. those were hard years, but God was faithful and got me through it even when I was failing miserably. Hold onto Him and trust Him with your future and He will do amazing things through you.
I know everything is done for God's purpose, and that's what I try to hold on to and keep remembering. Plus, I know he will never leave me or forsake me if I'm honestly and humbly seeking him.
 

CherieR

Senior Member
May 6, 2017
563
23
18
#18
I don't know if you have trouble not knowing God's love for you. I have had that trouble. I want to tell you this; it is something that hit home with me. God does not say to you, " you get your life together, you change, you do what is right and I will accept you." No, but what God does say to you is " Come to me, just as you are, and I will accept you. I will love you."

See through faith in Christ Jesus and his death and resurrection, we are children of God. No sin struggle we have will ever change that. It really is not our work to overcome sins and to grow in righteousness in Christ. That is God's work to accomplish it. He may ask though that we participate with him. As an example, for myself, I have had panic attacks. Not so much now, but they are not fun; panic attacks won't kill you, but definitely not fun. I do believe that God expects me to work along side of him by stepping out of my comfort zone, and face any fears or anxieties progressively. Whenever intense anxiety comes, I need to ride it out and try to stay with it instead of leaving right away. And if I do leave, come back. For you it may be helpful to seek a trained professional who will support you and perhaps get to any roots as to why you may be experiencing same sex attraction. Sometimes people who experience those feelings may have wounds that need to be healed. Someone who felt unloved by a loved one for example could use healing and soak in God's love for them. If you feel you are hurting, you may want to ask God to heal your heart and show you his love for you.

Jesus himself said that he will not turn away anyone who comes to him. Rather he welcomes those who come to him with open arms. God is just like the father in the parable of the prodigal son. The father see his wayward son coming home from a long distance away and the father hastens and runs to his son, embraces him and kisses him. Before the son can even say anything of being sorry, the father is already holding him close just glad he is back.

I do have some songs that may be of encouragement to you.

- Oh Come to the Altar. I was once really touched and overwhelmed listening to this song.
- East to West by Casting Crowns
- God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/He has Come for Us... A rendition of a Christmas song. Jesus has come for us!!!
- Come Thou Long Expected Jesus... I thought of you in these lyrics: " From our sins and fears release us. Let us find our rest in thee"
- And the hymn Just As I Am. Ginny Owens sings this hymn very well.
- Noel by Lauren Diangel( spelling last name wrong) is a song that has touched me before.
 

CherieR

Senior Member
May 6, 2017
563
23
18
#19
I know everything is done for God's purpose, and that's what I try to hold on to and keep remembering. Plus, I know he will never leave me or forsake me if I'm honestly and humbly seeking him.
I wanted to reply to this that God puts no conditions on the promise of never leaving or forsaking us. I think of the song " The God I know" Some of the lyrics... " No strings attached when you saved my soul, want you to know the God I know." If you look up the phrase no strings attached, you see it means without restrictions or conditions. That is how God's love is like.
 
Jun 21, 2017
220
5
18
#20
I wanted to reply to this that God puts no conditions on the promise of never leaving or forsaking us. I think of the song " The God I know" Some of the lyrics... " No strings attached when you saved my soul, want you to know the God I know." If you look up the phrase no strings attached, you see it means without restrictions or conditions. That is how God's love is like.

I don't know what you mean by God puts no conditions on the promise of never leaving us? I mean I know that when he feels far away its because I have left his side. Also, I was just referring to bible verses about always coming to God humbly and honestly, in order for him to help/heal me. However, I will look up the song and listen to it. I think you're saying God's love is unconditional and all he cares about is that I come to him first and always??