Girlfriend said that if not in a relationship she would have sex with a stranger for $10 million depending on the person. Red flag?

Good day Tony

Unfortunately it was like that when Jesus walked the earth and he never said we should not go to church. Even when we read Revelations we can see that all the churches have some shortcomings. It is my opinion that we can operate in a church but it took me and my wife a long time to find a place where we felt comfortable doing so, so I understand where you are coming from.

Good luck with your search and I pray God will guide you to the best place to worship Him

If you find a fellowship like this could you please let me know if they have a branch in Western Aus where I am. So hard to find a good church or fellowship here. One where they actually care.

It is everywhere Ruby. It is as if the church became the worst place for immoral sins sad really.

Thank you GTW, and G'day to you too 🙂

I hear you, and am so pleased that you have had your needs for fellowship satisfied.

I don't feel anxious about not being able to bond in group worship to our Lord, and I do worship him singularly at home. I don't believe he is offended by that. I also take comfort in scripture which states that God desires obedience above offerings (including worship) and sacrifices, and I can practice obedience to Him anywhere, anytime.

Thanks so much for your encouragement.

Shalom 🙂

Will do Ruby, and I pray that you would remember me in your search too, please.

You've had some pretty warm weather over there this past summer. We have had a lot of rain here, which has kept the temperature down a little, but caused the humidity to sky rocket.

There's some great places to visit in WA, I have fond memories of the south coast region and it's hinterland.

Shalom, Tony

I don't really disagree. I'm old enough to remember back in the day when there were a lot of home meetings during the week. A lot of people feel more comfortable in a home, easier to ask questions. I remember a lot of people became saved during those days. So I don't really disagree with that idea.

That's a rather hard question for me. I spent so many years traveling in various denominations and not really home a lot to attend my home church. I've been through a couple church splits, which was hard to come home to. I grew up in Pentecost, but I don't attend a Pentecostal church today. The church I do attend has several denominations attending and we have no big issues. Some are Pentecostal in experience, some are not. So I guess because of my travel in ministry I really don't think much on denominations. We just preached the Gospel wherever we were and let God do the work in hearts.

A church split is akin to a family breakdown and split, very sad and painful. I'm glad that you are able to press on regardless.

People just seem to get offended at times by things they should let slide, that are not that important. They have a dummy spit, and tramp off elsewhere often banding up under another different group label. If we label ourselves with some kind of theological label, that will become our focus and usually at the cost of balance.

I'm not here to bag people that are in denominations either, I have a full time job getting my own act right! But we are doing a disservice to ourselves and to our God by carving up Jesus into disparate groups. We are making ourselves dysfunctional.

It's really good to hear that the individuals in the group you fellowship in are able to leave their denominational differences in the background, that shows maturity IMO.

Thanks for your comments.

I appreciate the conversation and I mostly agree. The last definition you have given is one I have heard said often in similar ways.
When I hear these descriptions I usually get this sense that they are just making it up. I don't really find biblical support for it, but I know it is expressed this way among those who like to teach about the prophetic gifts.

I have often heard people in a public speaking scenario say that they have the "prophetic personality" because they don't think too much about peoples feelings and just tell it like it is. But they are actually of the "ignorant personality" and just haven't realized it yet. What I mean is that they just don't understand that they are lacking in social skills. Only education will cure them.

You will notice that most of these who claim that their "harshness" is due to their prophetic calling never completed any college level communication, writing or English classes. Which is why they are so poor at communicating and they call it prophetic and wear it like a badge. Sorry, the rest of us are cringing when they speak and are relieved when it is over, having learned nothing but pity for their ignorance in the process.

Now I am not saying that they MUST attend college to be cured, they could simply read enough books and take some training courses but the point is that there is a reason that most companies require or prefer college graduates. They are better at social skills the most important one being their ability to communicate in a polite and effective manner what needs to be communicated with as few words as possible to get the task at hand accomplished.

These basic communication skills are usually lacking in those who call themselves of a "Prophetic personality" but they are so ignorant they think that the difference between their rough mannerisms and others that they wish they could be like but can't is because God made them different.

In reality they suffer from arrested development and going back to community college and completing a liberal arts degree could very possibly bridge the gap between what they perceive to be the difference between their communication skills and those peers they admire so much in this regard.

Someone should tell them. Now that would be direct. But it would not be prophesy. Telling them in a harsh way would not be prophesy either. It would just be unnecessarily rude.

These types usually are doing what comes naturally. However, one of the best tips I learned at an early age in my Christian journey is that most of the time when we do what comes naturally we are doing it the wrong way.

Managers who manage teams with no management training will usually do what comes naturally and take on an authoritative demeanor and try and push their weight around, threaten people, raise their voices a lot, and spend most of their time pointing out things that need correction. This is the worst kind of manager.

The best managers learn through management training to resist doing what comes naturally and to be kind, coaching, positive and find things to praise their teams about which will produce teams that fix their own mistakes without needing constant corrections and nagging. The principle is true in almost every area of life.

What comes naturally in ministry, trying to tell people how they are messing up and pushing them to do better, is not the best way to help people and one must be trained by the word of God, by Jesus examples and obeying these biblical examples in ministry you soon learn that they are opposite what you would have thought of doing if left to yourself.

Doing what comes natural in telling people how it is, and being harsh, and acting like you are Isaiah or Jeremiah is not prophetic personality, it is just ignorance. They can stand up there and claim they are prophetic all they want but most of us in the pews listening to it are wondering why they think that speaking like they did not graduate elementary school makes them prophetic.

Am I being harsh? Maybe I'm a prophet. LOL

Thank you for your detailed and considered response.

Understanding yourself, your particular bent/what helps make you tick, comes with an understanding that there are strengths and weaknesses associated with it that you need to come to terms with.

You are right. An insightful knowledge into what is 'right' is not a licence to bulldoze others' points of view out of the way.

My following comments are somewhat generalisations, but they are based on my experiences.

I've found the insightful gifted people to be mostly black and white in their thinking, no grey area, there's either right or wrong, and they can often be quite tactless in their 'truth' delivery. They need to realise their responsibility is solely to put the truth out there, and then let the strength of that truth achieve its desired outcome, not to bludgeon it into acceptance. They can be very cutting in their remarks, and combative in discussions, which are not strengths. There appears to be some guys and a few gals on here that have this gift/bent (of prophesy/insightful knowledge into what is write and wrong). Some have unfortunately drifted into its weakness zone by trying to stamp their 'rightness' over someone else's 'wrongness' through aggressive argument and vitriolic retort, which will most likely have the opposite effect, and can even render their argument impotent and therefore miss God's intended mark for it.

Some that have a strong teaching bent I've found to be somewhat similar to those with the prophetic insight bent, but usually not as agressive in their arguing. I have a sister (biological family) that is a talented teacher, it was her career. Forget about trying to win an argument with her, you'll never win. You'll get chapter and verse, and in all its tiny nuances, of why her opinion is the correct one, irrespective of the strength of your own argument. I refuse to play Scrabble with her, because I know I'm on a hiding to nothing for it. I often muse that if I had a debating team I'd put her up first, and just walk over and collect the trophy, unless of course there happened to be a teacher on the opposing team as well, then it'd be best if I ordered in a week's worth of meals, pulled up a chair and hung loose, or better still, go on a vacation whilst they argued the topic out between themselves. 🙄😆

I've found that some of those strong in leadership/facilitation can be very impatient with anyone that seems to be standing in the way of them achieving their project goals. They can fall in the trap of caring more about the success of the project, than about the feelings of the people in their team. They make good project leaders, but not necessarily good managers. A good manager has to balance business goals with employees physical, mental and emotional welfare. I can't see any situation where I would encourage someone with this bent to provide emotional counselling to anyone, I would most likely look for someone that has the bent of mercy for that task.

It's a pastor's responsibility to get to know the various natural giftedness inherent in the flock he is serving, so that they can be put to good use. He also has a responsibility to gauge the maturity of individuals and their self awareness of the strengths and weaknesses associated with their particular bent, before he encourages them to let it loose.

There's many other anecdotes and learnings I could describe here, but that would perhaps be more appropriate to discuss in another forum or post, as even though it's relevant for relationships, it's not the thrust behind the OP's Post.

Yes Tony,

I pray you find the right group to join in with too.
The weather this summer has been pretty fierce but we are cooling down now. Winter is definitely on its way. I have seen on the news that over east is having heavy rainfalls and flooding.
I read on another thread that you were hoping to meet someone. Too bad you dont live in the west I could have introduced you to a lady whom I used to attend church with. She has been recently widowed. She mentioned to me the other day that she wished she had a male friend to have dinner with. You sound like you may have been a good friend for her

Thank you for your encouragement and kind words Ruby.

Arrrgh, the tyranny of distance. If your friend is a born again Christian, is not fearful of living outside of the confines of a denomination and the traditional weekend church service, and is into outdoor activities like some of motorcycling, mountain biking, boating, fishing, camping and the like, let her know that I would be interested in conversing with her please! 🙂

We've had about 2 metres of rain in Tin Can Bay so far this year, quack quack quack 🦆🦆🦆😎

May you have a great day in the west 🙂

Sounds like you may need a canoe to get from A to B instead of a car.

Upon reading your interests you probably dont have similar interests to her. She is not particularly an out door sort of person although she probably wouldn't dislike it. Her previous husband was a pastor apparently so he was more so a book worm and they did not venture out much to the bush or beach. Perhaps she may like it, I don't know.

She is also a regular church attendee although I think she quite disappointed with them. It is hard to find a good church. What you will find with her is that she is good fun, young at heart and is not scared to give anything a go.

I had the floaties handy, just in case.

Interesting conversation this, and I've been trying to think how we could turn it back to helping the OP, or anyone looking on, perhaps for their benefit.

The OP hasn't revisited his post since circa mid December last year, not long after he originated it. His concern was on moral, and maybe spiritual, compatibility with his girl friend. They may well have been living together, so I'm reticent to focus on his 'needs'.

People, driven by loneliness and/or physical attraction, can fall into the trap of compromising their standards to rid themselves of their 'problem' and enduring need. Even in Christian circles, the frequency of divorces of first marriages, and particularly on remarriages, are not that far below the failure rate in the secular world.

I realise the onus is on the individuals concerned, but how can we the church, do things better to lessen the probability of failed marriages within our ranks, and indeed, provide appropriate educative support to everyone thinking of marriage, or is already bound by it, helping them to have a successful outcome.

I realise opposites attract, but that is more to do with God providing us with differing personality traits, that when meshed together create a synergy and therefore a more robust 'unit'. Equally important, if not more so, are similarities in our moral and spiritual standards, which are attracted to each other.

In terms of seeking an ideal Christian partner, the luxury of 'picking' on someone in your own spiritual peer group, that you may have evaluated overtime through group activities, is best. You don't necessarily have to set out a thorough list of ideal traits beforehand, of who would suit you. However, where internet introductions and long distance dating is involved, it makes sense to think seriously beforehand about the type of person you feel would suit you, and even document a list of desirable traits, and be considerate enough to express your 'criteria' up front so that you won't be wasting other's or your time. You can obviously categorise the criterion as important or not so important, and compromise on the least important ones.

Christians in essence ought to approach the idea of marriage on the basis that they will only get one go at it, so they better choose wisely, and be prepared to commit for the long haul, or rather, 'till death do us part".

There used to be an acceptable excuse for divorce (...secular courts...), I'm not sure if is still used, but it was 'irreconcilable differences'. Now if our 'irreconcilable differences' is a euphemism for something like... 'we just don't get on', or 'our traits irk each other', or 'I just don't feel love for my spouse anymore', etc, and we believe we can use those as grounds for divorcing our Christian mate, forget it, that just won't cut it with God.

These kind of hypotheticals are futile.

If it's just a matter of immaturity I'd let it go.

It "could" point to a deeper heart condition but you could always prod a bit into it.

What would you do with the 10M? and then lead things slowly back to "Do the ends justify the means?" "What does scripture say about that?"


Gain the whole world yet lose your soul + 1 Cor 10:13

Maybe you should break up with her. She will possibly be happier with someone not as easily shaken. I don’t mean this in a mean way either. If this is the reality of y’all’s relationship it’s probably healthier for her, and you, to separate so that she does not end up being in a suffocating relationship and so that you are not always triggered by jokes and theoretical “unlikelys”

Maybe you should take it to the Lord for His direction and not to some strangers .

Umm... I'd ask her 'what about Christ?' The mouth speaks what the heart is full of. As a Christian, I cannot even imagine saying something like that. Christ is either GOD or He's not. (Not that I don't have my sins or my rebellious moments. But, the difference here is that she's saying what she would choose to do in a certain situation, and apparently with no inner conviction from the Holy Spirit.)

Now... you said neither of you are walking seriously with God at this moment. Perhaps she's saved and just too carnal right now for drifting for so long. It happens. But, unless you see growth and a desire, ultimately, to live for Christ, then I'd make the difficult decision and let her go.

Reminds me of a movie...