Guilty Conscience

I'm not happy with myself. Not in the slightest. .

School started back this week and I can already see myself falling back into some nasty habits.

It's so easy to follow God when I'm here alone and he's all I have to focus on.

But as soon as I get around my peers, you would never guess I'm a Christian. Well, that's a little bit of an exaggeration. I'm not THAT bad but it's enough for me to question myself & my spiritual strength since I'm so quick to get angry, or curse (I know, I know), or talk back, or react to a situation where I feel disrespected in.

You know that time of night, right before youu drift off into your peaceful rest, your mind replays all the events of the day. The funny moments, the embarrassing ones thatt make you giggle, how many times you day dreamed, and about that essay that's due tomorrow. .? Well I dread that time of day the most, because I know I have upset the Father* repeatedly. . .

I dunno. I just feel really guilty all the time. Someone told me walking with Christ doesn't mean you go the rest of your Life without ever sinning again, but that when you do sin you repent & ask for strength to overcome your demons with Gods help. I wish this wasn't so hard for me. .

No one has to answer or leave feedback or anything. I just needed to get these thoughts of mine out. .I don't have many people I can talk to so. .

Thanks for viewing. . .

Hello TerriNicole,

I remember feeling very much like you do when I was your age. The bad feelings you get when you act or sin is the Holy Spirit (God's Spirit) in you grieving. I felt the same thing. Once the Spirit enters into a person it never leaves so don't worry about that. Also, our Heavenly Father is patient in growing us and directing us, so don't be to hard on yourself but do pay attention to Him leading you in the direction He wants you to go (It's for your best interest for He wants only the best for you.) You are a work in progress and maturing in the Lord will continue throughout your life. By the presence of the Holy Spirit in you you do have the ability of self control, among many other powerful abilities. Do not be defeated in spirit when you mess up, just do as the person said, that you mentioned, and ask for forgiveness (you will immediately be forgiven) and continue trying to improve, which is what your Loving Father desires for you benefit. Christ has given you victory! Fear not, for He is with you!

"Heavenly Father, I humbly ask that you take care of TerriNicole while she is in school and throughout her life. I ask that you give her the understanding that it's more important to please You than others and the desire and courage to do it. Thank you Father for being ever present in our lives. In Jesus name I pray. Amen."

Your in Good Hands!

God bless you, and I pray the remainder of the school year will go well for you.

Joseph
Titus 2:12
...say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Maybe if you understood that God don't want you to walk around with a guilty conscience, you would feel closer to Him and more thankful...maybe a better witness?

Yeahh, I guess so. .

Be encouraged that at least you recognise your weaknesses! Then take them to God, I'm the worst (at least I think I am) at carrying a guilty conscience even if I haven't done anything but eventually when I had enough I take it to God and He does His thing, lifts the burden and gives me peace.

Be encouraged that as you walk with Him that He will refine these things in you, it takes time! I remember years ago I complained about myself to God that I wanted to love like our Pastor does and I compared myself to Him and God said, "He's been walking with Me for 30 years."
LOL I understood what He was saying...