I need some advice about friendships

Hi everyone, I'm Josh, 26, Disabled, and Live at home.

I got some questions that maybe you all can give me some answers to. I have struggled with making and keeping friends for most of my life, even my own family (outside my household) has taken a dislike to me.

What friends I do make either uses me or they push me away. I had a group of friends that were a part of an online league about a couple of years ago. We all played, laughed, and had a great time but, I lost most of them to due stupidity. One friend I had who was really sweet, she passed, and one other friend gets in bad moods and says terrible things to me.

I'm disabled and stay home a lot, I don't really have many things that are considered social events that I can attend. I really miss what I had, It was so amazing that folks could share their lives from anywhere. No matter the time, I always had someone to talk to and just had company. Now I feel at a loss, depressed, and isolated.

What am I to do? Can anyone give me advice? Anything given is appreciated!

Hi storm I am in the same boat I am disabled and unable to go to many places as I can only go to places within walking distance I have had a very harsh life as you will see if you read my testimony my family didn't care about me and constantly put me down but what i was lacking in family and in friends I found here in cc I have two adopted mothers on in fact who have been more of a mother to me than my own mom and I have made many cherished friends here in cc and even found the love of my life here in cc whom I hope I can marry in the near future.

Maybe like me you were lead here for a reason

hi storm! are you confined to your house? I don't know the nature of your disability, however many people with disabilities still live very full and active lives...working jobs, using paratransit public transportation, taking classes, participating in team sports, and such.

That is so awesome! I hope so too, I just don't how to get involved and make friends here, I'm more of skype person I like small groups with voice chat. But I have no idea how to get that started, when I have asked on the forum about making like a small skype group, I get replies that folks think I'm doing something suspicions. but, that not at all my intentions, I just enjoy more one on one group.

The more you participate here on the forums the more friends you'll make and the more likely you'll be able to possibly move towards the more intimate friend calls. Best of luck.

Yes, I am confined, I do spend most of my time online.

Hi storm sorry about people being suspicious usually when a person who only just joins the forum asks to skype it is usually to get away from any eyes and ears to scam people but if you are more of a video person you might try the chatrooms. I am a forum person myself but maybe the chat rooms would good for you?

Hi Storm, I'm not disabled but like you, I too struggle to keep and make friends. I've lived a pretty sheltered life growing up by my protective parents who can be overprotective, and I still live under their roof because I don't have a job and am pretty incapable of doing things on my own. I'm socially awkward, insecure, and sensitive (more than I like to admit) because of my circumstances and weaknesses. Overtime I've grown used to feeling alone and tend to keep myself occupied with anime, mangas, Netflix, youtube, etc as a way of escape from reality. I'll also find some ways to help people like feeding homeless people at a park so I won't sink even deeper in self-pity. Which can be very easy to do. I rarely participate in forums or chatrooms, it's not that I don't like socializing, it's just that I'm not very good at it. As painful as that truth is. Even though I feel alone, I know that God is always with me. I hope this site will help you make some lasting friendships.

when we learn how to accept Jesus as our Best Friend, it may take a while,
but He will teach us whom we may trust and whom has been blessed with
His Holy Love...it often takes a lot of time and different experiences,
some good, some bad,
but is so worth what we will eventually learn of Him and His Holy Ways...

Yes I do go to the chat rooms but, I don't use webcam I'm more voice. I was hoping the chatrooms be more like fellowship instead of biblical arguments.

Hi, ChristCenteredGirlI understand I'm scared to make new friends, while at the same time, I hate not having contact with the outside world. Like you, I'm also socially awkward, my replies are kinda jittery, and In messaging, I'm nervous about what to say at first until I get comfortable talking to a person.

For me, I won't mind making the first move socializing or just interacting with others in general if I get a good sense or impression from the person or people. I get the feeling you're like that too. I tend to avoid people who are negative, crass, insensitive, or just gives me bad vibes. Of course, anyone would. So I'm pretty anti-social in a sense too. And because I'm sheltered, I feel like I don't have a lot to say that's interesting. Plus, the way my brain is wired, it's more difficult. I'm not that great at explaining things, but I'm just a peculiar oddball lol.

CC is a great place . It's like a town, there are some places that are lovely, and there are some places that can get ugly so you try to avoid them...you learn what you like and avoid what you dislike as much a possible. There is enough variety for most people to find their niche.

I agree with some of the other users: use the forums/chat rooms to get to know people, and work from there about smaller groups etc. God bless!

I have no idea what your disability is, but if you can possibly get out of the house, DO IT! It's going to be difficult, if not impossible, to form any sort of friend relationship online. But if you get out to activities where you meet people your odds of finding friends will go way up. By activities, I mean, for example: church services, volunteer work, public library, take a course at a community college, work in a soup kitchen, attend local sporting events, get out for early morning breakfast. <<I mention this last one because I've recently (last few weeks) started going to a little greasy spoon restaurant two or three days a week for breakfast at about 6:00am. I've met several of the regulars, and have a nice conversation with them now when I go there for breakfast.

You also mentioned that you've lost a couple of friends for various reasons. If it's due to your behavior, change it. Also, perhaps after some time has passed you can call and apologize. People don't hold grudges forever--most people anyway. If they are not willing to forgive you, maybe they're not really the type of people you want for friends anyway.

Best of luck, and godspeed to you!

It is difficult to be away from home for long periods of time due to bowel issues, but I do go to college, that is where I met my last friend. Unfortunately, I'm the one who has to cut the ties when a friendship becomes toxic. So now I'm setting higher standards and not be used like I was before.

I feel like I should affirm you in that making genuine friendships is a challenge in any arena. I want you to know you're not any lesser of a person because of the disability you face every day. In fact, you're probably stronger than many of us. Friends that aren't genuine will walk away (or you'll walk away) for various reasons...most of the time, those reasons are reflections of what they battle within themselves. I'm sorry for the moments in which you've been treated unfairly--I know it stings on a pretty deep level. However, I think the trick is to not give up and to constantly give your heart's desires up to God. I have found it to be true that He will place the right people in your life [and in some cases, He's doing this currently], so don't take on this burden yourself, and don't lose hope. Isolation is a deceptive alternative to the risk of vulnerability with others, so I encourage you to keep risk-taking even when it feels pointless...keep going, because that's when God surprises us.

Thank you for sharing with us Praying for you!

Thank you so much, ToGoFruit!

Your words have inspired and encouraged me very much, I have figured out why my recent close friendship had ended and your words have confirmed it. The pain is still there, I still have my breakdowns, but I'm doing better each passing day.

The loss of a friendship is never easy; it should be mourned. So, take the time you need and allow healing to work within you. Keep hanging in there, friend! I can't wait for who God brings into your life

Hi All, looking for friendships in Christ also ??????