kind of complicated........... (sorry this is a bit long)

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purpledaisies80

Guest
#1
#1
i have always had issues with having a stable relationship with God. years of serious abuse and rejection plus a history of Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD, Complex PTSD have left me finding it hard to trust that He is there for me when i mess up. i have times when i really am motivated to love Him and then it drops off and i fail and am full of rebellion and anger towards Him....sometimes i think i'm not God's Child at all and that my salvation is lost- i have gown some fruit and made some progress but not for some time really... i stil believe but i feel i no longer have much of a faith anymore.......i did have a short time in 2006 and early 2007 when i was on fire for Jesus and felt loved by Him....i felt so much muck clear from my heart then...i still had issues to work through though and i think they tripped me up and stole my fruit....Love is a tricky thing for me...i often dont feel it or can receive it and when i do it is in a very intense but short-lived way.....i want to know i really belong to God...how can i know that? as far as Salavtion goes i have fulfilled all the requirements, confession, baptism etc but i have never been SURE i belong to Him.... I do my best with Bible reading and praying etc but due to the things i am struggling with it is very hard, so please dont tell me just to try harder....My therapist who is a Christian says i need to just concentrate on basics at the moment like Gods love and forgiveness and continue doing my best to live a life pleasing to Him.

Two years ago someone had a word from me thati would be HEALED from all this stuff. i do believe that, though i have my days when it seems hard to grasp the reality of it. But my hope is that God will use this healing for His purpose and that when Judgement comes Jesus will not say "i never knew you"
 
Twinkle77

Twinkle77

Senior Member
#2
Sep 1, 2012
357
5
18
#2
purpledaisies80 said:
i have always had issues with having a stable relationship with God. years of serious abuse and rejection plus a history of Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD, Complex PTSD have left me finding it hard to trust that He is there for me when i mess up. i have times when i really am motivated to love Him and then it drops off and i fail and am full of rebellion and anger towards Him....sometimes i think i'm not God's Child at all and that my salvation is lost- i have gown some fruit and made some progress but not for some time really... i stil believe but i feel i no longer have much of a faith anymore.......i did have a short time in 2006 and early 2007 when i was on fire for Jesus and felt loved by Him....i felt so much muck clear from my heart then...i still had issues to work through though and i think they tripped me up and stole my fruit....Love is a tricky thing for me...i often dont feel it or can receive it and when i do it is in a very intense but short-lived way.....i want to know i really belong to God...how can i know that? as far as Salavtion goes i have fulfilled all the requirements, confession, baptism etc but i have never been SURE i belong to Him.... I do my best with Bible reading and praying etc but due to the things i am struggling with it is very hard, so please dont tell me just to try harder....My therapist who is a Christian says i need to just concentrate on basics at the moment like Gods love and forgiveness and continue doing my best to live a life pleasing to Him.

Two years ago someone had a word from me thati would be HEALED from all this stuff. i do believe that, though i have my days when it seems hard to grasp the reality of it. But my hope is that God will use this healing for His purpose and that when Judgement comes Jesus will not say "i never knew you"
Click to expand...
Hi purpledaisies80
One important factor that we must always remember is not to dwell on our feelings cause our feelings
go up and down depending on situations that occur in our lives.

We need to focus on truth and the truth which is the word of God does not waver from day to day. It is is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. So if the word of God says you are saved by accepting Christ as your saviour, then you are saved not based on a feeling but based on the word of God which is the truth.

I used to be like a yoyo myself in regards to my salvation but as I read the word of God more and more and ponder on it and together with prayer and an intimate relationship with Christ, then I became stronger in my faith and trust in Christ and who I am in Christ.
I used to get bouts of depression as well but I no longer cause I would read the word of God diligently and pray. I would read the word of God aloud and where I can insert "I" into a scripture I do so. So while I am reading it loudly I am also listening to it myself eg: I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Get yourself involved with christian activities and less of what's in the world

The Holy Spirit lives in you and He is the one who can strengthen you and make your feet stand firm. He is the one who renews your mind and refreshes your heart. Pray, seek and rest.
Take every negative thought and fight it with scripture cause our battles are spiritual.
 
H

hattiebod

Guest
#3
#3
purpledaisies80 said:
i have always had issues with having a stable relationship with God. years of serious abuse and rejection plus a history of Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD, Complex PTSD have left me finding it hard to trust that He is there for me when i mess up. i have times when i really am motivated to love Him and then it drops off and i fail and am full of rebellion and anger towards Him....sometimes i think i'm not God's Child at all and that my salvation is lost- i have gown some fruit and made some progress but not for some time really... i stil believe but i feel i no longer have much of a faith anymore.......i did have a short time in 2006 and early 2007 when i was on fire for Jesus and felt loved by Him....i felt so much muck clear from my heart then...i still had issues to work through though and i think they tripped me up and stole my fruit....Love is a tricky thing for me...i often dont feel it or can receive it and when i do it is in a very intense but short-lived way.....i want to know i really belong to God...how can i know that? as far as Salavtion goes i have fulfilled all the requirements, confession, baptism etc but i have never been SURE i belong to Him.... I do my best with Bible reading and praying etc but due to the things i am struggling with it is very hard, so please dont tell me just to try harder....My therapist who is a Christian says i need to just concentrate on basics at the moment like Gods love and forgiveness and continue doing my best to live a life pleasing to Him.

Two years ago someone had a word from me thati would be HEALED from all this stuff. i do believe that, though i have my days when it seems hard to grasp the reality of it. But my hope is that God will use this healing for His purpose and that when Judgement comes Jesus will not say "i never knew you"
Click to expand...
It is hard to live with such mental health issues and you are right, it is easy to reply by saying 'read your Bible more' .....'Pray more' and of course, this is sound but if only it was so simple? But, it is. Read if you can, if you can't, listen to CD's, watch a good TV channel, radio....get into fellowship, keep going, in obedience, in devotion to Him. You are beautifully made by God, you are special, unique and very loved, in fact loved beyond any human comprehension. :) Step out and stand up! You are not alone in this....you just need to focus on Him, not on all the anxieties, challenge them....'who am I?' A child of God. We are all a mixture of strengths and of weaknesses. Do not dwell on the past, your eternal life has already begun! How fantastic is that!! And you are free. You may not 'feel' it, but you can walk out in it, as you do, the Truth will become the way, it will start to consume you till there is no room for the stuff that does not matter:) Spend time with people who love you & value you, you maybe need support and encouragement, more than some others right now. Thats nothing to be ashamed of! that's exactly what brothers & sisters are for! God Bless you and your precious faith. You are doing just fine!! Not perfect....who is? But you love the Lord, you know in whom you believeth....you will see Him, you are safe. Do not let anyone, or anything shake you away from that. Be obedient, lean on Him. He promises to carry you, your yoke is light. Hugs sister. <><
 
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