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my friend had this on facebook, and i thought it was hilarious.
it was originally in Russian, and i translated it. it sounds funnier in Russian by the way it was phrased, but i tried my best so enjoy!
"Hello my dear daughter! If you receive this letter, that means it got to you. But if not, let me know, and I’ll write to you again. I am writing slowly, because I know you can’t read very fast. The weather here is nice. Last week, it rained only twice, in the beginning of the week, 3 days, and towards the end, over a period of 4 days. About the coat, that you wanted. Uncle Vasia said that if we send it with these buttons, then it will be too expensive by weight, so I ripped them off. You can sew them back on, I put them in the right pocket. Your dad found a new job, there are 500 under him! (in Russian it’s phrased to sound like he has 500 employees). He mows the grass at a cemetery. Your sister, Anastasia, recently got married, and is expecting a child. We’re not sure of its gender, so I can’t tell you whether you’ll be an aunt or an uncle. If it’s a girl, she wants to name it after me. However it’s kind of strange to name your daughter ‘Mom.’ Your brother Tolya recently had a little crisis, he locked his car with the keys inside. He had to walk home 10 kilometers to get a 2nd set of keys, and let us out of the car. If you see your cousin Lilya, tell her hi for me. If you don’t see her, then don’t tell her anything.
P.S. I wanted to send you some money, but I already sealed the envelope. "
yes, i realize this is extremely lame, but oh well
it was originally in Russian, and i translated it. it sounds funnier in Russian by the way it was phrased, but i tried my best so enjoy!
"Hello my dear daughter! If you receive this letter, that means it got to you. But if not, let me know, and I’ll write to you again. I am writing slowly, because I know you can’t read very fast. The weather here is nice. Last week, it rained only twice, in the beginning of the week, 3 days, and towards the end, over a period of 4 days. About the coat, that you wanted. Uncle Vasia said that if we send it with these buttons, then it will be too expensive by weight, so I ripped them off. You can sew them back on, I put them in the right pocket. Your dad found a new job, there are 500 under him! (in Russian it’s phrased to sound like he has 500 employees). He mows the grass at a cemetery. Your sister, Anastasia, recently got married, and is expecting a child. We’re not sure of its gender, so I can’t tell you whether you’ll be an aunt or an uncle. If it’s a girl, she wants to name it after me. However it’s kind of strange to name your daughter ‘Mom.’ Your brother Tolya recently had a little crisis, he locked his car with the keys inside. He had to walk home 10 kilometers to get a 2nd set of keys, and let us out of the car. If you see your cousin Lilya, tell her hi for me. If you don’t see her, then don’t tell her anything.
P.S. I wanted to send you some money, but I already sealed the envelope. "
yes, i realize this is extremely lame, but oh well
