M
Married 20 years.
In the beginning first 2 years were great. Then it's like I woke up one morning next to a stranger. He changed completely. We had 2 children. With each it seemed he got worse. Stayed at work 24/7. I tried to talk to him but he wud say on a few years when the business is built up we'll have plenty of time. I waited & prayed that God wud change the situation. Very active in my church. The kids were also. Then the day came the businesses were doing well and there was plenty of free time to do all the things we wanted. Travel, fun, family time. Instead he chose to go out with his friends, take trips with friends. Leaving me & the kids at home. Too much infidelity to even talk about on his part. After 18 years I said I've had enough. He had completely destroyed my love for him. I knew if I didn't leave I was going to hate him. We left. Approx 3 months after we left he got saved. I was happy for him but it didn't change my feelings. Filed for the divorce that he wud never sign the papers for. In the mean time I met & fell in love with a very nice man. Two years later due to my feeling of what the right thing to do was. I went back to my husband to try & put our family back together & make things work. God truely has changed him. Now that I'm here I miserable. I am still in love with someone else. No matter how good my husband is to me I'm just not happy with him.
My question is:
Is it wrong to be with my husband & trying to do the right thing (very unhappy, miserable) for God when I am in love with someone else?
Help & advice much needed.
In the beginning first 2 years were great. Then it's like I woke up one morning next to a stranger. He changed completely. We had 2 children. With each it seemed he got worse. Stayed at work 24/7. I tried to talk to him but he wud say on a few years when the business is built up we'll have plenty of time. I waited & prayed that God wud change the situation. Very active in my church. The kids were also. Then the day came the businesses were doing well and there was plenty of free time to do all the things we wanted. Travel, fun, family time. Instead he chose to go out with his friends, take trips with friends. Leaving me & the kids at home. Too much infidelity to even talk about on his part. After 18 years I said I've had enough. He had completely destroyed my love for him. I knew if I didn't leave I was going to hate him. We left. Approx 3 months after we left he got saved. I was happy for him but it didn't change my feelings. Filed for the divorce that he wud never sign the papers for. In the mean time I met & fell in love with a very nice man. Two years later due to my feeling of what the right thing to do was. I went back to my husband to try & put our family back together & make things work. God truely has changed him. Now that I'm here I miserable. I am still in love with someone else. No matter how good my husband is to me I'm just not happy with him.
My question is:
Is it wrong to be with my husband & trying to do the right thing (very unhappy, miserable) for God when I am in love with someone else?
Help & advice much needed.