My CC Encounters

Magenta · Sep 24, 2019

The point is, that some of those who disagree with others degenerate quite quickly into rhetoric deliberately intended to insult and cause offense. Ad homs are also a logical fallacy. The ignore option comes in quite handy in such cases because there is not much chance for honest dialogue with a person who refuses to admit when they are wrong.

Magenta · Sep 24, 2019

The prose poem "Desiderata" was quite a popular piece in my time

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

written by Max Ehrmann in 1927

Lanolin · Sep 25, 2019

Is the BDF not moderated?

I have been there on and off lately but just been posting in other forums.

I find if I dont have anything to add or ask I just dont post, its not very edifying to just post anything in every thread. IF someones is being rude or nasty, just place them on ignore and report them. Thats the only way to stop that kind of behaviour (and also, pray for them)

Dont make another thread about the other thread. If you got something to say thats not on the topic you make another thread, be polite and dont derails someone elses thread.

I would find it very rude if someone just changed the topic and it started being about something completely different, when any new comers are looking for threads on the title thread topic. Most of us have lots of other things to do then spend every waking hour on a forum.

And important thing is, be appropriate. If its a serious topic dont treat it as a joke. And if its humourous then relax. I think people get most offended when they arent listened to. And for some people they may be joking about something but someone else doesnt know they are joking. Sure way to offend someone.

For example someones just died tragically and then someone else who doesnt even know them makes a joke about it. Please dont do that.

Whispered · Sep 26, 2019

Susanna said:

This is mighty different than the off-line or real world, isn't it? Here we don't see one another when we type or read someone's remarks to us or others.

Think about a relative comparison as pertains to being anonymous or masked when exchanging with others.
For instance, robbers wearing a mask are fully intent on taking money from a store cashier. They're brazen because they know they won't be identified, known, due to the disguise that covers their real identity. Would they risk that offense if there were no mask available?

On the Internet people are hidden from view and are masked by a screen name that likely isn't their real name at all. Therefore, who they really are is unknown. Some people thrive in that anonymity. They exercise their worst behaviors in forums or chat rooms even because they know no one, even if it were their neighbor in the house down the street that they were insulting, knows who they are.
Some people take advantage of the anonymity factor so they can let go and be who they really are. Because that would find little tolerance off-line in the real world.

Also, as I checked around after reading your OP, I am now reminded of the wisdom our Lord Jesus gave the men who were want to stone Mary of Magdala for her sins. They judged her for her perceived wrongs and yet they themselves were not spotless.
He who is without sin let him cast the first stone.

You've cast yours in making your upset toward certain members public. However, are you one who has not spoken as you accuse others of having done toward you? In other words, you speak of their sins and cast this stone of accusation in public, without naming names, but have you posted as one who has not exampled what she claims against others here?

We will never change someone else. Their faults are not in our control to alter or heal. All we're responsible for in matters of growth and change as pertains to our wrongs or failings, is ourselves.
In other words, you can ignore those who hurt you. But you live with yourself. And if you have hurt people you should never ignore that.
Just my thought.

Whispered · Sep 26, 2019

G00WZ said:

It does bring to mind a funny visual though. Eyelashes flapping.
And I agree, it has no value as anything remotely related to an insult. I would think the one using that phrase intending it to be insulting is very young or very immature to think such a remark would mean something to anyone but themselves.
Of course, that anonymity factor on the Net being ever present, it would be a real hoot if the person to whom one addressed such a remark suffered Alopecia. Then the joke would be on the one that accused that person of eyelash flapping.

Mezame83 · Sep 27, 2019

1ofthem said:

Well that's rude. Never heard it myself but at least now i know what it means.

Mezame83 · Sep 27, 2019

Susanna said:

I think this is a reason why some people find it acceptable to call others names, they don't care how they make the person feel because they don't actually know them and they don't take time to get to know the person, they just sit behind their screen sprouting off whatever insults they see fit.
When i see it, i just pray, you just never know what people are going through/have been through.

Whispered · Sep 28, 2019

Mezame83 said:

I think your advice is very good here.

We can forget that those who call us names or imply an insult through catch phrases are actually sinning.
And if they hold our Lord's name sacred, they are willfully committing a sin against a sister or brother whom they speak to in such ways.

The Book of Philippians chapter 4 verses 11 to 13 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in WHATSOEVER state I am, therewith to be CONTENT. I know both how to be ABASED, and I know how to ABOUND: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to SUFFER need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Subhumanoidal · Oct 8, 2019

Whispered said:

Actually the notion is more of flirtiness. Or could even be thought of as using seduction as a form of manipulation.

"Batting eyelashes" is how I always heard the phrase. And it's not a common phrase anymore so it's actually more likely someone older.

Whispered · Oct 8, 2019

Subhumanoidal said:

I thought them to be quite young because they may have heard the older phrase, batting eyelashes, and failing to recall that just went with, eyelash flapping.
In any case, is it really all that important?
Cutting remarks toward someone, especially in a forum where the spirit of Christ shares with us, as we recall His teaching, where two or more are gathered, is unnecessary and belies the hurting that the one delivering the cutting remarks feels in their own life. That's how I see rude remarks and especially on a one dimensional platform like a discussion board on the Internet.
Exercise those demons! As my bestie says when they get hit a time or two with mean words on the sites she visits.
Sometimes people throw hate filled words because to them they're like physical slaps meant to impact the person they're directed at.
Anything just to feel like they've "hit" someone in some way. And sadly, some people use sarcasm, hate filled words, or resort to name calling to do just that.
They must be very sad and angry in their everyday.

God be with them.

If someone wants to call me names, proceed. I like labels that make me smile. Cheesecake, Eclair, Lasagna, Ferrari, Lamborghini, million tax free cash, beach house Maui.

morefaithrequired · Oct 8, 2019

Ive been called the Anti Christ. Maybe I was. 😁

morefaithrequired · Oct 8, 2019

I am wondering how much influence Twitter has on other social media forums. Insulting is staple there. The default style of communication.

morefaithrequired · Oct 8, 2019

calibob said:

mi

calibob said:

might be interested in private messaging you. cant afford subscription if you would like to start one. otherwise i will use your recovery thread.

tasha66 · Oct 9, 2019

In my line of work, I get insulted all the time (& physically attacked at times). I wouldn't even repeat some of the insults, as they are not fit for anybody to hear/read. I EXPECT to get insulted, sworn at & possibly physically assaulted at work - but I go back because I know the people I care for are ill. I love my job despite it's pitfalls.
We all want revenge in some form or other when we perceive someone hurting us - that is natural. But when I come home from work after a REALLY bad night, I shrug it off most times, or write in my journal. A long, hot shower, a cuppa & a wee meal doesn't hurt either.
I guess what I'm saying is - water off a duck's back. If you aren't any of those things people have said to you, why do you care? If you feel that strongly about it all, go back onto those sites, or contact the people involved, and explain to them the way you feel - get it off your chest so to speak. Or complain to the moderators here to have those people contacted, and possibly banned. If it bothers you that much, take some positive action - or let it slide. I guess when we go on the internet, we have to expect some of that. But I'm sorry this has happened to you.
I too was also baffled as to why someone would say 'eyelash flapping'. Were they referring to the pic accompanying your name??

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My CC Encounters

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