My Dad got Remarried.....WITHOUT TELLING ME!!!!!

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BrokenHearted1025

BrokenHearted1025

Senior Member
#1
Oct 3, 2013
107
1
18
#1
Hello One and All,

I hope all is well.

It's been a while since I have posted anything on this website, so here it goes.

This morning (5/26/16), I Googled my Dad's ex-wife's name and found her Facebook page. As soon as I saw her profile page, I saw a cover photo. When I clicked on the cover photo, it's her giving my dad a hug with a huge smile on her face, and I saw a gold wedding band on my Dad's hand. The picture was uploaded on May 19. I clicked on the next picture, I saw her hand with a wedding ring on it, and that picture was uploaded on May 21.

When I tell you that when I saw these pictures, I almost had a nervous breakdown! I can't believe that my dad got remarried to his ex-wife without telling me.

The thing is that she and my dad got divorced back in 2013. She doesn't like me, and my dad has a soon-to-be 21 year-old son from her which is my brother, and she said some horrible things about me and the rest of my dad's side of the family. I feel so hurt that my dad would remarry her after all of the hurt, pain and suffering I've been through and making my life a living H-E- (you know the rest)!

Yes, I am a grown woman and all, but my dad has a right to tell me!!! What do you guys think???

*Feeling Hurt and Confused*
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#2
#2
Yes, he had a right to tell you... and a right not to tell you. I see why he chose not to tell you.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#4
Your dad is not required to tell you ANYTHING about what he does. Since she was mean and hurtful to you the first time around, then that may be why he didn't tell you he was going to remarry her. He probably knew you would blow it out of proportion. If you and her don't get along, then just avoid each other as much as possible..
 
BrokenHearted1025

BrokenHearted1025

Senior Member
#5
Oct 3, 2013
107
1
18
#5
blue_ladybug said:
Your dad is not required to tell you ANYTHING about what he does. Since she was mean and hurtful to you the first time around, then that may be why he didn't tell you he was going to remarry her. He probably knew you would blow it out of proportion. If you and her don't get along, then just avoid each other as much as possible..
Click to expand...
You're right about that. I'm going to send you a private message. Thanks.
 
azlightsout

azlightsout

Senior Member
#7
Apr 20, 2016
2,151
57
48
#7
His life - like u said you are a grown woman - he did his job raising u the best he could - God is the Answer
 
Born_Again

Born_Again

Senior Member
#9
Nov 15, 2014
1,583
128
63
#9
When my brother got married, I found out the same way.. via Facebook. I asked him why he didn't tell anybody and he essentially said it wasn't anyone's business. My dad never re-married after divorce, but Im relatively sure he would tell me before he did as we are really close. I can completely understand your frustration with the situation but I think your father probably figures he's at an age an in a position where he doesn't have to consider others opinion, and he's certainly correct. Though you are hurt by this, it is completely his choice. I'm sorry to hear the fall-out will be as bad as you anticipate it to be. May the Lord give you strength during this time.

God Bless,

BA
 
M

Miri

Guest
#10
#10
BrokenHearted1025 said:
Hello One and All,

I hope all is well.

It's been a while since I have posted anything on this website, so here it goes.

This morning (5/26/16), I Googled my Dad's ex-wife's name and found her Facebook page. As soon as I saw her profile page, I saw a cover photo. When I clicked on the cover photo, it's her giving my dad a hug with a huge smile on her face, and I saw a gold wedding band on my Dad's hand. The picture was uploaded on May 19. I clicked on the next picture, I saw her hand with a wedding ring on it, and that picture was uploaded on May 21.

When I tell you that when I saw these pictures, I almost had a nervous breakdown! I can't believe that my dad got remarried to his ex-wife without telling me.

The thing is that she and my dad got divorced back in 2013. She doesn't like me, and my dad has a soon-to-be 21 year-old son from her which is my brother, and she said some horrible things about me and the rest of my dad's side of the family. I feel so hurt that my dad would remarry her after all of the hurt, pain and suffering I've been through and making my life a living H-E- (you know the rest)!

Yes, I am a grown woman and all, but my dad has a right to tell me!!! What do you guys think???

*Feeling Hurt and Confused*
Click to expand...
I can understand why you are feeling hurt. Maybe you could try to look at
this as a fresh start all around for you, your dad and his wife.

Its another chance for your dad to have a new life with his wife again. Hopefully
they have both matured and left behind the problems which resulted in the first
divorce. If they have then maybe you can find it in your heart to give them both a
second chance together and be happy for them and put aside the old family
problems.

God was willing to give us a fresh start, if He did that for us then we can at least
try and see how it goes for a fellow human being.

You almost need to approach this on an equal standing with your dad and
his wife as a grown up. Rather than let the former father child relationship way of
thinking and doing things, get in the way.

So for example if you heard of a couple in your church who were divorced, then
later remarried. Would you be glad for them that they had sorted out their differences
and were reunited again, taking yourself out of the equation?
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#11
#11
BrokenHearted1025 said:
I understand, but it's bothering me.
Click to expand...
I understand that too. It would hurt me if my dad did that.

On the other hand, had I thought out all of what a public wedding was, I would have eloped, even knowing not witnessing my wedding would hurt my family. My reasoning was I HATE being the center of attention. Had I remembered that before standing in the back of the church with Dad and watching everyone stand up and turn around to look at me, I would have eloped. lol

And, yes, in your Dad's case, I suspect there is some shame mixed in with his decision. I'm sure he knows how you feel. I would feel roughly the same if Dad remarried second-wife. (I hold little against her, so that is different.) I also know that if he was foolish enough to marry her twice, not a single child would be invited, for fear we'd do what we probably would do -- have a sit down with him before making this terrible mistake.

Good news side of this is you don't live at home anymore, so you only have to be polite around her every so often each year. Unlike last time, she can't torment you 24/7.

So I do recommend, after you recover from your shock, to try and mend the fence. There's only a 2% likelihood this marriage will continue "until death...," but that lady is back to being family no matter how you feel about it. For the love of your Dad get used to it. If it doesn't work out, he's going to need comforting again.

For courage to face her each time, that's when Jesus needs your undivided attention.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#12
#12
blue_ladybug said:
Your dad is not required to tell you ANYTHING about what he does. Since she was mean and hurtful to you the first time around, then that may be why he didn't tell you he was going to remarry her. He probably knew you would blow it out of proportion. If you and her don't get along, then just avoid each other as much as possible..
Click to expand...
I don't know if it's "out of proportion." She may have every legitimate reason to fear this woman. She still has to accept that she is her dad's wife.
 
BrokenHearted1025

BrokenHearted1025

Senior Member
#13
Oct 3, 2013
107
1
18
#13
Depleted said:
I don't know if it's "out of proportion." She may have every legitimate reason to fear this woman. She still has to accept that she is her dad's wife.
Click to expand...

You're right. I do have a right to fear her.
 
BrokenHearted1025

BrokenHearted1025

Senior Member
#15
Oct 3, 2013
107
1
18
#15
Thank you all for the wonderful comments. I will always take these in perspective.
 
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