My Journal of self discovery and life :)

Psalm 144:1 Blessed be the lord my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle!

Luke 11:21 When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are safe.

Yesterday I went to another class with my friends of self defense, WHICH WAS AWESOME!! My friend Adam quoted the above scripture which was nice to start

We learned the bear hug, hooking one leg behind the attackers leg in a attempt to trip the attacker while prying the fingers apart of the locking hand with both hands then quickly turning and elbow jabs to the neck while kneeing the groin.

All though during each of the exercises each officer made it clear that if at any point you see an opportunity to escape, TAKE IT. cause any continual fighting is a waste of energy and precious time to safely get away!

We also learned: The choke escape...this one scared me I had an anxiety attack because I was in this position in a bad way once before, but I got through it recounting the first scripture in my head while doing the scissor move, I got through it and now I have that with me for life

Also learned the general rape escape moves the shrimp (i thought the name was funny at first.....NOT FUNNY!)

The whole class was those 3 moves, it was alot to take in but invaluable information and I will hold every class in my memory for life.

I am no longer scared anymore and I know I am strong enough to do what I have to, if I have to, in order to save my own life to the best of my ability.

The key to self defense is more than knowledge of the moves, but practicing them enough that they become second nature. The few seconds it may take you to remember what to do could make the difference. Or if you can even remember to think about what to do in a panic situation. Don't rest and assume you're good to go now that you've had a few lessons, but keep practicing these moves.
And i still say learn a whole form of martial arts. Not only for the self defense aspect, but the overall health benefits. My only thing is to be leery of the eastern philosophy and spiritual teachings often incorporated with martial arts. Also avoid generic martial arts schools. These tend to be geared more towards kids than really learning.
Still think its great you took the classes, though. Its a start. And working through that fear from the one exercise is awesome. So many people fold or quit under those circumstances. You are a strong person and its really impressive to see you push forward through, not only the stalking issue, but even the personal fears you have. I am a bit jealous, haha. I was born with a different mentality and raised with a different mentality. So i have a lot to overcome and not a lot of tools to help me. Make sure to take advantage of this mentality and strength you have.

Oh for sure, I know it will take many classes and sessions to get it to become second nature. I find myself thinking of different situations I could - god forbid- someday find myself in, and thinking of techniques and moves and situations to get out of said attacking situations. So mentally it is a good challenge for me and physically practising is a great blessing and glad I have the oppertunity to do so with the people I know. So thankful for the things that have happened to me, it has made me a stronger person. Still looking into martial arts classes, I don't have much money for it right now...soon hopefully

What did you mean by this?
I was born with a different mentality and raised with a different mentality. So i have a lot to overcome and not a lot of tools to help me. Make sure to take advantage of this mentality and strength you have.

I'm sure you have more tools to overcome than you realize

Feeling really bleh.... depressed, tired, hungry, needing work. Waiting on Jesus <3

Ahhhh I can't sleep. I keep practicing the shrimp moves like a mad woman like I can kick butt now woottt. Also need help praying for my grandma she fell today and my parents -dad is her kid- won't come help. So kinda angry that i have to take on all that but I know I got it, she just needs a speedy recovery

What i mean is i was born with low self esteem and a naturally depressed personality. Depression very hard to fight, because it robs you of the things you need to use to fight it. When your natural outlook is that you can't, and even if you could, it wouldn't matter, it... its hard to overcome anything. Especially the depression itself. Having a belief in yourself, and that your work will be fruitful goes a long way in helping you. You seem to have that mentality. Seems people who think how you think, can't seem to understand people who think how i do. Its so natural for you. But its not natural for depressive types.

Actually, Ugly (though you aren't "ugly") I do have a naturally depressed mentality, I was physically/sexually/mentally abused by my family since I was born, they would always say "you came into this world early why can't you just leave it!" "you're not good enough to be my kid" "wth was i thinking when i made you?!" etc etc, I used to harm myself (self starvation/cutting/scratching/hitting) I still have scars. I went through years of therapy and everyday is still a battle for me when I look in the mirror but I remember what God did for me, that there is a reason I'm here, no matter what others say or how much the enemy might try to bring me down. Our God still remains and the gift of that is enough to make me smile. Yes some days are harder than others, have had a rough last week emotionally with the self defense classes. Bumped up to twice a week so recovering now.

I learned how to twist an attackers hands away and use his own body weight up and over mine to slam him into the ground THAT WAS EPPIICCCC felt like super woman lol

Well, seems your personality is so affected by the abuse, its hard to say if you are 'naturally' depressive. I'm guessing you're still not naturally depressive. Though it is sad to hear what happened to you. I can't understand people behaving like that, treating people like that. That kind of treatment is .. ugh .. i'm not a violent person, but when i hear things like that, i feel the violence surging haha.
Personally, i didn't have any abuse as a child. Got along well with my parents. Just my brain was, or is, out of whack. haha. =P

I'm not ugly eh? Woo woo! hahaha

I saw Pacific Rim tonight, if you get the chance, you should see it. There is this sparring scene in there, between the lead guy and this asian chick, using sticks. Its beastly cool the moves they do. Check it out super woman (=

Yes my family is...psychotic? to put it nicely. so glad to be rid of them but feel bad for my mom and brother who are still under my dad's (possibly a demon though not 100% sure), evil rain. They made the choice to stick around..

I suppose you are right the difference in "naturally" depressed persons and the mentally aflicted ones of abuse. However, I do hope you have more good days than bad.

Pacific Rim? hmm will have to youtube it or something wooot youtube! sounds like a awesome movie, I like action movies like that, but i also am a disney nerd soo idk how well those two squish together in my head LOL. will definetely try to get my hands on it!
I'm big into like jackie chan and bruce lee fighting vids too always been a bruce lee fan (=

So tired of being 'afraid' for lack of better words, to do something my heart is telling me to do, for concern of ruining a good friendship, ughhh people say sometimes silence is the answer, but what if my longings are farse...but then, what if....but perhaps he may think differently...what then? just laugh it off and still keep a good friendship or would he not understand? so many debating questions...

Hugs April, scripture says perfect love casts out all fear.
I battle fear offen myself, like you, do to abuse as a child, fear was a weapon my dad used for pleasure.
I found as Im sure you know, that in Jesus, trusting all to God in faith, looking to His love, when this love grows.
That fear does leave, and one in this love, no longer fears, for Jesus's love gives one a love so great for others, that one walks free of any fear, one only knows love's victory!

Ugly, it is joy to see the good works God is doing in you.

Huge hugs, keep up the good fight, keep the faith!
God bless
pickles

thank you so very much pickles, i will post this back in my other thread too but please pray for me, the guy i mentioned, found out tonihgt he bailed out!!! SO ANGRY!! so i spoke with danschance about guns and such and he helped me through the beginnings of that process...so loooks like imma need to get familiar--quickly--with a deadly weapon....oh joy!

Huge hugs April, just read about it in your other thread, Im so sorry.
I spoke about this in your other thread as well, tazors are a very effective defence and weapon, and one does not have the difficulty of deciding to take a life.
Keep us posted, Im already praying in Jesus's name.

Hugs and God bless
pickles

thank you dear Pickles, I'm feeling very bleh today...not sure what its from, nerves over a few different things. Or just trying to convince myself that the situation isnt happening and my head is like oohhh yes it is so deal with it....ugh

Wondering what I will learn today at the classes. Hmmm =) had a better day so far but a really wierd dream: a big evil thing (person in demonic lava rock creature that was wierd) but this thing was laughing at me always one step behind me as I was running but there was a wolf (wierd I know) that was calling to me but this evil figure at one point had me pinned to the ground I cried out for help and the wolf just walked over to me rubbed my face with its nose and I woke up...I was so freaked out. I'm sure it's just my head making too much of the situation.

Anyhow time to kick some honey bunn heehee =P