Desperate need of something in my life

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R

rich624

Guest
#1
I am going to lay it all out with nothing held back. I believe this is what I need to do and I hope God will help me:
I am Richard, I will be 59 in September. I got married to a wonderful woman at 26, and was married for 25 years. I was divorced in 2011. When I first got married, I was a lost soul, even though, early in life, I had been saved and knew what I was doing was not the path I should be taking. I was drinking and doing what I should not have been. I met a sweet, wonderful woman, we dated and got married, a couple of years later. The divorce was all my fault. I didn't cheat physically, but I did emotionally, and so, my marriage crumbled.
I am willing to take the blame for that, but, I never drank a single drop of alcohol the entire time I was married, and I have descended into alcohol abuse. Not every day, but I have gained 25 pounds in the last year, I feel terrible and I desperately want to stop.
I have begged again and again for God to help me, to the point, I feel abandoned. I am not a suicide type person, so that is out of the question, but I am desperate need of a woman in my life, or some way to fight this cycle I am in.
I used to have more self control, but I cannot muster enough to counter the isolation and loneliness I feel right now.
Anyone have a logical suggestions other than the obvious, I am open to listening. This is why I came here. God is a sanctuary, but I feel abandoned at the moment.
Richard
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
Last thing you need right now is another woman. All you would do is bring her down with you.
That idea suggests faith that another person is what will heal you. An unscriptural and mentally and emotionally unhealthy mindset.

I'm not clear what you're asking. It sounds to me like you're having some situational depression and you need to confront and deal with the issues of your past in a way that is healthy, rather than wallowing.
A pastor trained in counseling or even a secular counselor may be able to help walk you through it so you can get over it all. But avoid relationships in the meantime.
 
R

rich624

Guest
#3
Last thing you need right now is another woman. All you would do is bring her down with you.
That idea suggests faith that another person is what will heal you. An unscriptural and mentally and emotionally unhealthy mindset.

I'm not clear what you're asking. It sounds to me like you're having some situational depression and you need to confront and deal with the issues of your past in a way that is healthy, rather than wallowing.
A pastor trained in counseling or even a secular counselor may be able to help walk you through it so you can get over it all. But avoid relationships in the meantime.
Ok, thanks.
 
S

Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#4
Hello :) Welcome to CC :)

I am no expert about living a perfect single life because I long also for someone beside me sometimes( ahhh it is always nice to feel that warm hand holding mine 😍 )...but let me just tell you a little I am not sure if this is a logical suggestion yayy but this is coming from my heart...

I understand sir Richard...but whether we are married ,single or dating we've all experienced loneliness at some point...

We all want to love and be loved but what if we have no one to love or someone to receive that love...?What if we will be forever single?Are we going to stay in the corner and be lonely at all times and petty ourselves? Loneliness sometimes is good for us because it can be the time where we can reflect to ourselves. During this time we become strong ...we learned to cope things all by ourselves...
I don't know if you believe this but Being in a relationship will not guarantee us that we will not going to feel alone and lonely...because sometimes being in a relationship makes us feel alone and lonely compared to when we were single. Learn to be content and happy so that when someone comes along you will be able to give the best of you to that person :)

Remember this always...No one can fill that empty space in your heart but GOD. Only GOD's depth love can fill that empty space :) when loneliness strikes run to JESUS ❤ He will give you the total comfort and peace ❤ I know it because He is my greatest comforter everytime I am feeling alone and lonely.



God bless you ❤
 

MrH59

Well-known member
Jun 24, 2018
395
586
93
61
Beech Island SC
#5
I always feel inadequate to reply to life situations but I feel what you’re talking about. I also begged GOD to help me get on the right path because I knew I couldn’t do it on my own. My verse is psalms 51:10-12. Basically it says restore the joy of my salvation and make me willing to obey. Please get your relationship right with GOD before you try anything else. I’ll say a prayer for you.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#6
Are there any kind of organisations like Alcohol Anonymous in your area?
They may be able to offer the help and counselling you need.

One thing I would say (and don’t think this is unkind). Is that just sitting
at home and hoping someone is going to come along and help, is unlikely
to happen.

Yes God helps and answers prayer but often we have to do our part too.
Maybe make a list of goals, what you want to achieve in yourself, leaving
aside wanting another relationship for the time being.

Might be things like. Give up drinking, get fitter, sleep better, eat better.
it’s surprising how just looking after yourself can help a lot. If you don’t look
after yourself you won’t have the mental or physical strength to make the right
choices for yourself.

That list may also include see a doctor about the drinking, any depression,
low self esteem etc.

Then I would include bulding a relationship with God, and decide how you wll
go about doing that. It may be finding a good church, trying a little bible reading
each day, set aside time for prayer. Join in with church activities etc.

When Elijah was depressed, scared, worn out - he ran. He ended up in a cave
running away from the world. What did God do? He allowed Elijah to rest, eat and
sleep and waited until Elijah was physically ready before asking anything else of him.

People overlook things as simple as this, God knows your needs, He knows when
you feel tired, worn out. He sometimes calls us to just rest before anything else.
But there has to be some action on your part. It will also help you to as doing
something and coming up with a plan, brings a sense of being back in control and
of having achieved something.


The story of Elijah is in 1 kings chapter 19 if you want to read it. Maybe that could
be a little bible reading for you.
 

mar09

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2014
4,795
1,138
113
#7
Hi rich,
Many came to cc broken, and still mending. But welcome, and i hope the Lord will use brethren here to encourage and build you up again. There are many really nice and helpful people here.
 
R

rich624

Guest
#9
Thank you everyone for the input. I agree that I don't need a relationship right now, I need to get myself in order. I am ready to make a change for the positive in my life and I am going to do it.
 
R

rich624

Guest
#10
Hello :) Welcome to CC :)

I am no expert about living a perfect single life because I long also for someone beside me sometimes( ahhh it is always nice to feel that warm hand holding mine 😍 )...but let me just tell you a little I am not sure if this is a logical suggestion yayy but this is coming from my heart...

I understand sir Richard...but whether we are married ,single or dating we've all experienced loneliness at some point...

We all want to love and be loved but what if we have no one to love or someone to receive that love...?What if we will be forever single?Are we going to stay in the corner and be lonely at all times and petty ourselves? Loneliness sometimes is good for us because it can be the time where we can reflect to ourselves. During this time we become strong ...we learned to cope things all by ourselves...
I don't know if you believe this but Being in a relationship will not guarantee us that we will not going to feel alone and lonely...because sometimes being in a relationship makes us feel alone and lonely compared to when we were single. Learn to be content and happy so that when someone comes along you will be able to give the best of you to that person :)

Remember this always...No one can fill that empty space in your heart but GOD. Only GOD's depth love can fill that empty space :) when loneliness strikes run to JESUS ❤ He will give you the total comfort and peace ❤ I know it because He is my greatest comforter everytime I am feeling alone and lonely.



God bless you ❤
 
R

rich624

Guest
#11
Thank you so much for the input. I agree with you on being in a relationship does not mean you will not be lonely. I believe this is what happened to my ex-wife and I. We were just room mates for the last ten years of our marriage and I was terribly lonely. I was in pretty good shape just a couple of years ago and I can get back to a routine of exercise and better diet. I am determined to make a positive change. I talk to God every day, and too often, put the blame for what is "happening to me" on Him, rather where it should be, which is on me. God didn't abandon me, I abandoned Him.
 

MrH59

Well-known member
Jun 24, 2018
395
586
93
61
Beech Island SC
#12
I am going to lay it all out with nothing held back. I believe this is what I need to do and I hope God will help me:
I am Richard, I will be 59 in September. I got married to a wonderful woman at 26, and was married for 25 years. I was divorced in 2011. When I first got married, I was a lost soul, even though, early in life, I had been saved and knew what I was doing was not the path I should be taking. I was drinking and doing what I should not have been. I met a sweet, wonderful woman, we dated and got married, a couple of years later. The divorce was all my fault. I didn't cheat physically, but I did emotionally, and so, my marriage crumbled.
I am willing to take the blame for that, but, I never drank a single drop of alcohol the entire time I was married, and I have descended into alcohol abuse. Not every day, but I have gained 25 pounds in the last year, I feel terrible and I desperately want to stop.
I have begged again and again for God to help me, to the point, I feel abandoned. I am not a suicide type person, so that is out of the question, but I am desperate need of a woman in my life, or some way to fight this cycle I am in.
I used to have more self control, but I cannot muster enough to counter the isolation and loneliness I feel right now.
Anyone have a logical suggestions other than the obvious, I am open to listening. This is why I came here. God is a sanctuary, but I feel abandoned at the moment.
Richard
GOD promised he would never leave or forsake us. I am pretty sure you believe that. right now you are at a low point in your life and are looking for answers and comfort. Trust that you are not alone, first I have noticed you have a lot of friend here. I hope you are going to church and I would hope there is someone spiritual you can confide in. I am your age and when I got off the narrow path.( Ill spare you the details) GOD got my attention through life situations. I lost a lot, but it brought me back. I'm here to tell you I didn't make any deal with GOD to change if he would help me but I did make him a promise. Friend I was deep into porn and alcohol and he took the desire for it away completely and replaced it with a desire to serve him. I prayed psalm 51:10-12 restore the joy of my salvation, MAKE me willing to obey. like you I didn't have the self control and couldn't muster the will power to change. even though I knew I needed to. I know you believe GOD is with you. You need to trust that he will bring you through this storm. I will pray that GOD will hold you in the palm of his hand and comfort and protect you.
 
Jun 29, 2018
13
10
3
#13
I am going to lay it all out with nothing held back. I believe this is what I need to do and I hope God will help me:
I am Richard, I will be 59 in September. I got married to a wonderful woman at 26, and was married for 25 years. I was divorced in 2011. When I first got married, I was a lost soul, even though, early in life, I had been saved and knew what I was doing was not the path I should be taking. I was drinking and doing what I should not have been. I met a sweet, wonderful woman, we dated and got married, a couple of years later. The divorce was all my fault. I didn't cheat physically, but I did emotionally, and so, my marriage crumbled.
I am willing to take the blame for that, but, I never drank a single drop of alcohol the entire time I was married, and I have descended into alcohol abuse. Not every day, but I have gained 25 pounds in the last year, I feel terrible and I desperately want to stop.
I have begged again and again for God to help me, to the point, I feel abandoned. I am not a suicide type person, so that is out of the question, but I am desperate need of a woman in my life, or some way to fight this cycle I am in.
I used to have more self control, but I cannot muster enough to counter the isolation and loneliness I feel right now.
Anyone have a logical suggestions other than the obvious, I am open to listening. This is why I came here. God is a sanctuary, but I feel abandoned at the moment.
Richard
i concur. you do not need a woman, you need Jesus. and , PUT THE PLUG IN THE JUG, AND stay away from AA and na if you can, and celebrate recovery. go to church and start exercising. QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOUR SELF. BE OF GREAT COURAGE, call on the Lord! i have not had the company of a woman for over 15 years, and i hve not had a drop of alcohol for going on 11 years. all my friends drink, well not my church friends. all my saved friends cry about being lonely too. my divorced saved friends. hehehehe. the best info i have got lately is. when i married her i ws lonely, and after we got married i was lonelier. is theat a word, being more lonely?
 
R

rich624

Guest
#14
Hi rich,
Many came to cc broken, and still mending. But welcome, and i hope the Lord will use brethren here to encourage and build you up again. There are many really nice and helpful people here.
GOD promised he would never leave or forsake us. I am pretty sure you believe that. right now you are at a low point in your life and are looking for answers and comfort. Trust that you are not alone, first I have noticed you have a lot of friend here. I hope you are going to church and I would hope there is someone spiritual you can confide in. I am your age and when I got off the narrow path.( Ill spare you the details) GOD got my attention through life situations. I lost a lot, but it brought me back. I'm here to tell you I didn't make any deal with GOD to change if he would help me but I did make him a promise. Friend I was deep into porn and alcohol and he took the desire for it away completely and replaced it with a desire to serve him. I prayed psalm 51:10-12 restore the joy of my salvation, MAKE me willing to obey. like you I didn't have the self control and couldn't muster the will power to change. even though I knew I needed to. I know you believe GOD is with you. You need to trust that he will bring you through this storm. I will pray that GOD will hold you in the palm of his hand and comfort and protect you.
 
R

rich624

Guest
#15
Thank you for your input. I know it must have been hard to share that information. But please understand, what you have done, helps people like me. After a life of drinking, I went 26 years without even having a beer, so I know I am capable of doing it. I need to find that strength, and the strength you have shared with me, helps to reshape my life. I am almost 59. For most of those years, I worked out and felt good, the last two, I have become unrecognizable, but I feel that motivation coming back. You all have helped do that. Thank you so much.
 
Jun 29, 2018
84
45
18
Marianna Florida
#16
I am going to lay it all out with nothing held back. I believe this is what I need to do and I hope God will help me:
I am Richard, I will be 59 in September. I got married to a wonderful woman at 26, and was married for 25 years. I was divorced in 2011. When I first got married, I was a lost soul, even though, early in life, I had been saved and knew what I was doing was not the path I should be taking. I was drinking and doing what I should not have been. I met a sweet, wonderful woman, we dated and got married, a couple of years later. The divorce was all my fault. I didn't cheat physically, but I did emotionally, and so, my marriage crumbled.
I am willing to take the blame for that, but, I never drank a single drop of alcohol the entire time I was married, and I have descended into alcohol abuse. Not every day, but I have gained 25 pounds in the last year, I feel terrible and I desperately want to stop.
I have begged again and again for God to help me, to the point, I feel abandoned. I am not a suicide type person, so that is out of the question, but I am desperate need of a woman in my life, or some way to fight this cycle I am in.
I used to have more self control, but I cannot muster enough to counter the isolation and loneliness I feel right now.
Anyone have a logical suggestions other than the obvious, I am open to listening. This is why I came here. God is a sanctuary, but I feel abandoned at the moment.
Richard
Sounds like you have a repentant heart and that's the beginning of a real relationship with God! One thing that has picked me up is some great worship music. Just force yourself to begin praising God and giving thanks to him amidst the storm! Godly sorrow produces repentance, repentance and faith produces true salvation with the blood of course of Jesus! Just commit to start new and CONSECRATE Your life to God! I've been there bro!
 

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
Mar 28, 2018
10,455
6,523
113
#17
Hi Rich, welcome to CC. Glad to have you here. Thank you for sharing your testimony, I’m glad that you want to make things better and in order to do that is to surrender to Jesus :) HIS LOVE is sufficient for you always. Everyone has given you great advice and I pray that the Holy Spirit will lead you to the righteous path - Gods path :) Hope to see you around the forums! :)

Blessings ❤️ 01020A34-1761-4AB8-A872-AEF9CCE9E8A7.jpeg
 
R

rich624

Guest
#18
Hello :) Welcome to CC :)

I am no expert about living a perfect single life because I long also for someone beside me sometimes( ahhh it is always nice to feel that warm hand holding mine 😍 )...but let me just tell you a little I am not sure if this is a logical suggestion yayy but this is coming from my heart...

I understand sir Richard...but whether we are married ,single or dating we've all experienced loneliness at some point...

We all want to love and be loved but what if we have no one to love or someone to receive that love...?What if we will be forever single?Are we going to stay in the corner and be lonely at all times and petty ourselves? Loneliness sometimes is good for us because it can be the time where we can reflect to ourselves. During this time we become strong ...we learned to cope things all by ourselves...
I don't know if you believe this but Being in a relationship will not guarantee us that we will not going to feel alone and lonely...because sometimes being in a relationship makes us feel alone and lonely compared to when we were single. Learn to be content and happy so that when someone comes along you will be able to give the best of you to that person :)

Remember this always...No one can fill that empty space in your heart but GOD. Only GOD's depth love can fill that empty space :) when loneliness strikes run to JESUS ❤ He will give you the total comfort and peace ❤ I know it because He is my greatest comforter everytime I am feeling alone and lonely.


I understand feeling alone and lonely. thank you . I struggle with this every day.
God bless you ❤[/QUOT
 
S

Sweetmorningdew78

Guest
#19
I didn't see a message with your quote but maybe u just accidentally sent this 😊 but thank you bro. God cares about you :)


God bless you ❤
 

posthuman

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2013
30,139
9,736
113
#20
I need to get myself in order. I am ready to make a change for the positive in my life and I am going to do it.
we need to get set in order -- we need to be changed -- we need Him to do it.
we need to believe, and pray, wait and look for Him. :)

i don't believe you can do it -- but i know Jesus Christ can, and will, if you believe, hope and trust in Him.


((which doesn't mean don't try - it means let Him move, and follow. He'll start in your heart))

((welcome to CC))