Left Mormonism. Wanting to reconnect to the divine. Having a hard time doing so.
- Thread starter LupineMoon
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I'm in my late 40's. I converted to Mormonism when I was 24. Did all the right things. Before that I was baptized a Catholic when I was an infant. Being that I'm Italian, it was more for cultural purposes. We maybe went to church for Easter and Midnight Mass. After converting to Mormonism, I felt like I found the truth. They preach that to you by the way. That it's the only true church on the face of the earth. I also noticed I became a righteous puke. While I never spoke openly about it, I would inwardly put down others from different faiths. It's a weird feeling, when you drink that kool-aid. You feel like you're part of God's chosen religion. My wife and I have a son with autism, so it made going to church rather difficult. During this time, I would still try to be a worthy member by going to the temple often and then listening to church prescribed podcasts. Though in my early 40's things started to slowly unravel. I heard a piece of info about the Mormon church that I wasn't ok with, so it led me down the rabbithole. It was a slow burn, as I tried to make it work through random acts of justification. Around the time I hit 45 I just couldn't do it anymore. I stopped going. While I felt free from the indoctrination, there's been a void since. I noticed that I'm having a hard time believing again. I want to believe differently, but having a hard time trusting. For one thing, I'm not a fan of religion. Spirituality, yes, and finding that connection to Christ, absolutely. So that's what brought me here 
I'm looking for ways to believe again.
I'm looking for ways to believe again.
1.) "I also noticed I became a righteous puke. While I never spoke openly about it, I would inwardly put down others from different faiths. It's a weird feeling, when you drink that kool-aid."
I applaud you for having the self-reflection and objectivity to see that within yourself. I'm sure you are probably well aware, but that part isn't even exclusive to Mormonism.
2.) "I heard a piece of info about the Mormon church that I wasn't ok with, so it led me down the rabbithole."
If it's too personal, you don't have to share. I'm quite curious what information did you discover? Joseph Smith being a Free Mason? Adam-God Doctrine (the doctrine that was later removed that Adam is Heavenly Father)? Denying Blacks the priesthood until 1978? Mountain Meadows massacre?
3.) "I stopped going. While I felt free from the indoctrination, there's been a void since. I noticed that I'm having a hard time believing again. I want to believe differently, but having a hard time trusting."
This is perfectly normal and to be expected when a religion teaches you they are the only true gospel in the world and that their prophet is not just the LDS prophet, but the prophet of the world. I call it "spiritual baggage". It's a good thing you're skeptical and cautious about who to listen to. I know Mormons believe only they have the gift of the Holy Spirit (given to them after baptism), but the truth is that when we accept Jesus Christ as our Savior and are reborn, we are given this gift. The function of the Holy Spirit is to reveal truth and direction from our Heavenly Father. Mormons will encourage their members to "go pray about it" but if you come back with any variance of belief than the standard teachings, you are advised to go and pray again. This just means that the Holy Spirit either doesn't work or that it's unnecessary to have because they have a modern-day prophet who receives revelation and counsel from God on their behalf.
When you study the word, ask for the Holy Spirit to be with you and teach you truth. While it's great to hear other people give talks or sermons of what they believe to be true (their testimony), it should be used as a supplemental source and not the primary source. Let the Holy Spirit guide you.
Lastly, I know Joseph Smith liked to us James 1:5 to proclaim his false gospel, but it nevertheless is a true scripture:
James 1:5 "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. "
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TRINITY: Videos On Historic Doctrine of Trinity
What I've posted so far in this thread:
1.) Posts #29 & #39 = videos and websites comparing Mormonism to historical Christian doctrine.
2.) This post (#44) = Detailed Videos on the Trinity
Trinity: Historic/Traditional Doctrine - Mike Winger
Trinity: Historic/Traditional Doctrine - James White
.
TRINITY: Videos On Historic Doctrine of Trinity
What I've posted so far in this thread:
1.) Posts #29 & #39 = videos and websites comparing Mormonism to historical Christian doctrine.
2.) This post (#44) = Detailed Videos on the Trinity
Trinity: Historic/Traditional Doctrine - Mike Winger
Trinity: Historic/Traditional Doctrine - James White
.