Hi all im prity new here and still felling out the waters but ill give this a shot.
The first girlfriend that i had was from high school, she had come from a Christian home, was a beliver herself and regularly attended church. We were together for about 4 years in total but towards the end when we had left school she was starting to give into her lust but i turned down her advances as wa had both agreed that we were waiting for marriage. But she went of to uni and regularly cheated on me but kept me in the dark.
When i found out 6 months down the line it destroyed me.
Years later i was asked out by a fellow youth group leaderthat i had known for a few years, so i decided to give love another go, she new my past and assured me that she would never do anything like that.
She told me what i wanted to hear and i lowered my walls. And about a year in she cheated in me aswell.
In both relationships we both wanted to wait till marriage as we both saw how special sex is ment to be, and when i say the cheated they both had sex.
Naturally this devastated me.
Especially as i am that loyal that i genuinely dont understand how people cheat
One of my deepest desires is to have someone that i can wholeheartedly trust. But i am terrified of this happening again as i strugle with emotional pain.
This next statement might sound exaggerated but i assure u its not.
I broke every vertebrae in my back along with dislokating my shoulder and breaking my colour bone in a motorbike crash (its ok i can walk)
My shoulder was relocated at the scene with no painkillers.
Id rather do that again than get cheated on again.
My worrie is that i know that i will have trust issues and she wont desurve it.
But i really want to find a wife that i can trust, so so much.
I just dont know if i can
And of course I have put many hours of prayer into this ots just hard.
The first girlfriend that i had was from high school, she had come from a Christian home, was a beliver herself and regularly attended church. We were together for about 4 years in total but towards the end when we had left school she was starting to give into her lust but i turned down her advances as wa had both agreed that we were waiting for marriage. But she went of to uni and regularly cheated on me but kept me in the dark.
When i found out 6 months down the line it destroyed me.
Years later i was asked out by a fellow youth group leaderthat i had known for a few years, so i decided to give love another go, she new my past and assured me that she would never do anything like that.
She told me what i wanted to hear and i lowered my walls. And about a year in she cheated in me aswell.
In both relationships we both wanted to wait till marriage as we both saw how special sex is ment to be, and when i say the cheated they both had sex.
Naturally this devastated me.
Especially as i am that loyal that i genuinely dont understand how people cheat
One of my deepest desires is to have someone that i can wholeheartedly trust. But i am terrified of this happening again as i strugle with emotional pain.
This next statement might sound exaggerated but i assure u its not.
I broke every vertebrae in my back along with dislokating my shoulder and breaking my colour bone in a motorbike crash (its ok i can walk)
My shoulder was relocated at the scene with no painkillers.
Id rather do that again than get cheated on again.
My worrie is that i know that i will have trust issues and she wont desurve it.
But i really want to find a wife that i can trust, so so much.
I just dont know if i can
And of course I have put many hours of prayer into this ots just hard.
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