UMZZA, it's another day and I am thankful because I am still alive, still going on. Even though God has been good to me, I have not been spared some heavy trials. I too am feeling alone and it has caused me to find this site. I don't have any best friends, no really close friends, even though I share with a few no one knows all my pain except God, he is the one I cry to every chance I get, I ask him why me, he doesn't stop it and I know he can, it only get worse. I try to reach out to family and friends but they only make me cry more from rejection and disappointments, "you are a praying lady, have faith. God will come through, be patient. I am praying for you. Blah blah blah". They see me working so I can't be in need as I express yet bailiffs are my door, debt collectors are constantly ringing my phone, my husband ignores my plea for help (We lives apart). Can't talk to my daughter as she will more feel that had I not tried so hard to help her achieve her bachelor's in nursing- with honours I may say. Still have to wAit a few more months to do licensing exam, then I would not be in all this debt. My husband was injured in a car ,accident earlier in the year and hasn't work much since. I could go on. The Holy Spirit speaks to me in songs, scriptures, voices, last thing I heard was "you are waiting until God comes through with his promise to prosper so you can sing about how you got over, that's hope but where is your faith, use that, now is the time to laugh" hearing that I was smiling and dancing inside going up the street to purchase lunch, didn't know I was actually showing it outside until on my way back someone complimented me on my lovely steps. I found the faith for awhile but I am back to struggling wearily as each month gets worse. I collected what's left of my months salary yesterday and half my debts still not paid, could only buy a few days juice and snacks for my grand and a couple toiletries, prior to that, a cousin gave me some fishes, rice, flour and a little sugar and I was able to make it stretch, 2 times frying with a touch of coconut oil for seasoning, the little seasoning is finish. And I still believe God? Yes. He has proven himself to me so many times before, I still believe him with all my heart. Today I am heading out to church to worship, with all my pain and burden? Yes. Trust and hope in God. One of the inspired songs I got says: KEEP ON YOUR FAITH AND LIVE WITH HOPE. Praying God comes through for us soon, he can.
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