Is this weird???
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I’ve heard of people staying friends with an ex.
I didn’t stay friends with mine because I honestly didn’t have interest to stay friends lol. He also lives in another state, so there was no hanging out together. He did email me a few times. I was cordial, but I never kept the convo going. But that was my choice.
I say if you two no longer have “feelings” towards each other, then it should be all right. If one of you starts dating someone else, then there should be no jealousy.
I didn’t stay friends with mine because I honestly didn’t have interest to stay friends lol. He also lives in another state, so there was no hanging out together. He did email me a few times. I was cordial, but I never kept the convo going. But that was my choice.
I say if you two no longer have “feelings” towards each other, then it should be all right. If one of you starts dating someone else, then there should be no jealousy.
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The answer depends on too many factors for there to be a good answer here. But here are a few questions to consider :
1) How has breaking up affected your relationship in practical, observable terms? How are things different between you since you've broken up? (If they're not different, then have you really broken up or have you just kind of agreed on some sort of emotional relationship without commitment)
2) How will it affect your friendship if one of you starts dating someone else?
3) How will this friendship affect your chances of finding someone else to date ( if that's something either of you desire further down the road)?
1) How has breaking up affected your relationship in practical, observable terms? How are things different between you since you've broken up? (If they're not different, then have you really broken up or have you just kind of agreed on some sort of emotional relationship without commitment)
2) How will it affect your friendship if one of you starts dating someone else?
3) How will this friendship affect your chances of finding someone else to date ( if that's something either of you desire further down the road)?
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So let's say hypothetically you meet a guy that you just go crazy for. You date him for a bit and then he breaks it off but tell you you can still be friends. He keeps spending just as much time with you as when you were dating, knows you're longing to get back together with him, but has no intention of getting back together with you. Is he treating you well? Is he being a good friend to you? Is he sending you mixed signals?
And you probably know where I'm going with this, but that's pretty much how you're treating your friend / ex. So if you've moved on already and he hasn't, it might be best for him if you give him the freedom and motivation to start moving on by putting some distance between the two of you.
This is one of the best online articles I know on the subject and has led me to what I call the two hour rule: if you're not dating or intending to date you shouldn't be spending more than two hours a week together engaged in one on one interaction.
https://www.boundless.org/relationships/not-your-buddy/
And in answer to your original question: no it's not weird, but it's likely setting him up to deal with even greater hurt and rejection down the road
And you probably know where I'm going with this, but that's pretty much how you're treating your friend / ex. So if you've moved on already and he hasn't, it might be best for him if you give him the freedom and motivation to start moving on by putting some distance between the two of you.
This is one of the best online articles I know on the subject and has led me to what I call the two hour rule: if you're not dating or intending to date you shouldn't be spending more than two hours a week together engaged in one on one interaction.
https://www.boundless.org/relationships/not-your-buddy/
And in answer to your original question: no it's not weird, but it's likely setting him up to deal with even greater hurt and rejection down the road
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Not too weird... It would appear that you have friend-zoned him... That is not too unusual (a few movies made on this theme) for the life long friend to finally realize that the person they have been spending so much time with: knows them better than most, is always there for them when they need someone, and is a loyal companion...
On the other-hand if he were a genuine bestie, he wouldn't be suggesting not talking to you again - if you were ever to meet someone else...
He does warrant some credit/acknowledgement for his commitment... There is something to be said for someone's level of commitment in making any relationship work in the long run...
On the other-hand if he were a genuine bestie, he wouldn't be suggesting not talking to you again - if you were ever to meet someone else...
He does warrant some credit/acknowledgement for his commitment... There is something to be said for someone's level of commitment in making any relationship work in the long run...
I do agree, I do like the 2 hour/week approach, and I tend lean toward Harry's philosophy about guys in 'When Harry met Sally' - when it involves the feelings/motives of guys and girls who claim to be 'just friends' but invest an awful lot of time together...
But, I'm also open to other perspectives - one being what we genuinely mean when we refer to a 'Brother' here in cc...
Brother: 'a person who is there when you need him; a person who sticks up for you when no one else will; a brother is a forever friend.'
But, I'm also open to other perspectives - one being what we genuinely mean when we refer to a 'Brother' here in cc...
Brother: 'a person who is there when you need him; a person who sticks up for you when no one else will; a brother is a forever friend.'
