"You can't make this stuff up!"

I was on FB the other day posting about an Easter EGGstravaganza at our local zoo. As I was browsing the zoo's photos, I was admiring a picture of their two beautiful leopards, Mick & Betty. God knows I love cats, and I was sitting there remembering just how gorgeous those leopards were when I saw them at the zoo. Too bad I couldn't pet them or I'd be lunch!

Later that morning I decided to open the windows to let in the fresh cool spring air... but after I did, I heard cats meowing rather loudly. I checked the front bedroom and there were two of the neighbors' cats sitting on the windowsill looking in the screen at me, both meowing for all they were worth!

I got so excited, I put tuna fish in bowl for them and went outside to pet them. They reminded me of the two kitties at the zoo.

My younger brother went through a phase where he seemed to be obsessed with the toilet. Whenever we picked the toy he wanted to play with, he would flush the one he didn’t want to play with down the toilet. That led to a couple of plumber visits. And the loss of our Lando figure.

A couple of times, he “washed his hair” by giving himself a swirly. He gave a demonstration of that one.

I heard something like that. Once upon a time this high school had a problem with the girls messing up the mirror in the girls bathroom with lipstick prints all over it.

The principal got a bunch of the worst offenders together in the bathroom so the janitor could demonstrate what a chore it was to clean the mirror over and over. The janitor dunked a mop in one of the toilets and washed the mirror off. That solved the problem.

i was on the phone today with an insurance company for 1 hr and 12 mins.

Last night, I slept in bed with wet hair. Everyone says its a bad idea but eh, sometimes I am just too tired. But after this, I see the point.

I put my hair in a microfiber turban.
I have long hair, up to my waist. I also have bangs or fringe, whatever you like to call it.

In the morning, when I woke up and took out my turban, my fringe that was pulled back was standing up 180 straight. It was hilarious.
I had to use my iron to flatten it down. Good thing, I am working from home .

Around eightish years ago my oldest son came to my room one night and said there was a wasp flying around. I went to check it out ,flicked on the light switch and that did it. There was a small hole right above his pillow in the ceiling. When I turned the light on this attracted the wasps that had chewed through the drywall and they all started coming out. I got the kids out and brought the shop vac up from the garage. I vacced up all the wasps and cut hole in the ceiling and found a 6 inch round wasp nest.

So I lived out in the country for about 15 years and being an avid reader (I have about 500 books) I noticed a hole in the book pages on the top a perfectly round hole I opened it and a worm like creature (book worm lol) had burrowed into it and it was still there. Over the next few years I found several more. Havent had any problems since moving into town

I’m pretty sure there is a wasps nest in my fireplace or the chimney here at my current place. Last fall, I saw a couple of wasps get in to my apartment. The flue wouldn’t close, so I called maintenance to come take a look. The next today, I got home and there were a good 15 wasps in the apartment. I went on a killing spree, but there were about the same amount the next day when I got home.

The maintenance guys ended up putting a plastic cover over the fireplace to keep them out. But there were tons hanging out on the other side. They eventually made a hole in the plastic a few months back and then I had a dozen or so hanging out the next day. This time, they were spread out all over the apartment.

Maintenance called an exterminator this time, but he wanted me to just patch the hole instead of killing the nest and all that. He did mention they were docile due to it getting colder, which is why they weren’t being aggressive when I went on a killing spree.

This was a great thread to find! LOL on the cesspool story. This is my first post.

I wasn't a great cook when I got married, but my husband had been married before. His first wife was a worse cook than me. He told stories all the time about her misadventures in the kitchen.

My favorite was when they were having company and she was putting the salad out. She ran out of oil for the vinegar and oil dressing, and melted Crisco to use in its stead.

As they began eating, their mouths developed a thicker and thicker film... no one knew what was happening.

You can't make this stuff up!

Oh... my... goodness.... Lol that's horrible. Welcome to CC!

I have a Dog Grooming business, and one day I came into the shop and saw my Groomer standing there in her underwear. She said that whenever her uniform got wet bathing a dog, she took it off to dry it with a hair dryer. At first I got a little upset and started to lecture her on how unprofessional that was, but then I realized business had been growing rapidly at that location, apparently lots of men were bringing their dogs in more regularly for some reason.... The girl had a knock-out figure... True story

Once upon a time, I accidentally left the button of my jeans unbuttoned (had to rush out) and as I went to leave the car, my jeans fell to my knees and right at that minute the local bus full of people pulled up next to me.

You can’t make this stuff up!