Living in fear

HistoryPrincess said:

In any event, I'm terrified by the idea of Jesus returning. Both because it means leaving everything familiar and I'll be facing God himself. It sometimes frightens me to the point where I want to cry.

I know being a Christian is the right thing to do. But God honestly scares me half the time. Even if he is all good, he's also all-powerful and not like me at all. I don't see how I can ever truly love someone like that, who's in no way my equal and whom I'll have to be subject to forever.

Hi Honey, (((HUGS)))

My daughter was where you are at one time, she said when were talking about Jesus returning But mama, I want to live my life...….....I understood where she was coming from, she never did admit to being afraid but knowing her I would say that she was, but I was a young Christian back then and I was not wise enough yet to pick up on this,

Long story short, she made it thru that trying time in her life (just as you too will) and now she is a very mature young woman who loves the lord with all her heart . Time is needed on your part, and more experience.

Fear=

F....alse
E...vidence
A...appearing
R...eal

This too shall pass.

Stay the course.

You will never be sorry you did.

I suggest that you talk to the kindest older woman you can find and share your thoughts with her she will be able to council you in the right direction, and help you to confront your fears, and overcome them. It is a process and will not happen over night but as you learn and grow they will become less and less, and your love for the Lord will become more and more.

Are you familiar with the scripture Perfect love casts out all fear? Meaning as your love for the Lord grows the fear you are experiencing will decrease.

There are many books available to help you in your growth, and I am not sure which ones would be the most helpful, you might go to the Christian bookstore and ask about books that talk about falling in love with Jesus, or how to grow in your faith, I have faith that you will get there then you can look back on this time and smile, then being able to help someone who is where you are now.

I love you and God loves you more, and I hope to hear from you again. BTW I tried to see how old you are but it is not listed on your profile. I feel sure that you are a teen ager, and I for one am very glad that you are here asking for help. God Bless You Greatly!!




I'm not proud of any of this.

I'm 25.

I have been a Christian for 8 years and I've read a ton of books like that already. I can count on probably one hand how many have actually helped me.

One big problem with being on the spectrum is that relationships are not easy for me. By that I mean I don't have the wiring to instantly emotionally connect with people. It's not that I don't want to. It's that I can't.

So when people talk about having a relationship with God, it makes no sense to me. Relationships with fellow human beings are hard enough to understand. How am I supposed to have a relationship with someone I can't see, hear, or touch. Someone I can't even prove exists?

But thank you.

By the way, I've also gone to biblical counseling with an older woman who goes to my church. That didn't work out either.

You name it, I've probably tried it at least once.

And as for my love for God growing, I've had 8 years already to do that. I went at it hard. I went to Bible studies, I did Bible studies on my own, I did a prayer journal for months.

And then I realized it was all just a waste of time.

I wasn't raised to believe this way about God. Quite the opposite in fact. But I came to this conclusion on my own due to how my mind has always worked.

My mind thinks very black and white, this or that, either/or. Never both. I've always preferred rules to relationships because rules are at least easy to understand and have clear consequences. People have always been an enigma to me. Taking away rules for me to follow would be like taking oxygen for me to breathe. How else am I gonna know what's moral and what's not?

With that in mind, I honestly don't think I can truly be happy and Christian. A happy Christian to me is an oxymoron. Christianity is the last religion I'd recommend if you want to be happy. I didn't become a Christian to be happy. I did it because it's the right thing to do. Being a Christian to me is not so much about enjoying a "relationship" with God but about becoming a better person, even if there are growing pains.

That may sound self-righteous, but again, I am not someone who's a natural at understanding relationships, at least not personally.

God may have a future for me, but I can't imagine it involving anything I may want. If anything I'm almost expecting things I find distasteful about it. If it did involve anything palatable, I'd immediately be suspicious. "There has to be a catch. This can't really be for free. Nothing in life is free."

I've observed that 90% of the time people sin is because they want to be happy. According to how my mind works, since sin is bad, and wanting to be happy often leads people to sin, it's best to stay away from happiness altogether. Never mind if those who sin are simply looking for happiness in the wrong places.

The people I admire most are those who do what's right even if (in fact, especially) if it feels bad. The following might be an extreme example, but it's usually extremes that get people's attention.

When I have a job to do, I will get it done. Even if it was a job as an assassin for the CIA or something. I would take you out, even if you're a family man. If that's my job, I'm gonna get the job done.

If my relationship with God resembles anything, it's like a business contract. God wipes my record clean of sin, and in return, I love and serve him for all eternity. Given my only other option is hell, I'd rather take the fire insurance.

I don't get to decide what's good for me or what's in my best interest. I don't even get to decide if I deserve to live. God is God. I'm not.

And if I do feel any happiness or get enjoyment out of something, it's not in my mind to connect it to God. If anything else, it almost feels sacrilegious.

Miss history princess, I think I found something in the Christian faith perfect for you

Christian apologetics!

Law of identity
Law of excluded middle
Law of non contradiction

If someone claim that there is no absolute truth, just ask them, "are you absolutely sure?"

Or, if someone claim that all claims are right, ask them, if my claim disagrees, am I still right?

Or, if they claim that certainty doesn't exist, ask "are you sure of that"?

Or, if the claim that belief doesn't exist, all them "do you truly believe that"

Get it, whether yes or no, the same conclusion is proven

Even so, God himself cannot be proven.

Even if that's the case, have you heard of carm.org who recruits volunteers, it's an apologetics website, God can't be proven, but you can help out in apologetics, or have you considered something like that before

I get tired of constant confrontations. And they're a bit too Calvinist for me. Plus they badmouthed someone I liked.

I can’t trust someone I don’t know. I can’t trust someone just because other people that know him tell me to trust him.

I have to know Him for myself before trust can ever be.

Because of the way you are wired, you mostly function in your mind.

It’s impossible for the human mind of reasoning to prove God’s existence because it gathers all its intel with it’s five senses which can be manipulated.

However, the heart is superior to the mind when it comes to seeking and finding God and Truth.

HistoryPrincess,

I’ve read all your posts and can tell you, your heart knows. Tell your mind to submit to your heart.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for HistoryPrincess! She’s beautiful and absolutely perfect, loved and accepted in Your sight!

Give her balance between her heart and mind - both are necessary but, require balance. Help her Father, You love her!

Fill her with Your Love, Word and Spirit, in the Name of Yeshua/Jesus- the Lover of her soul, amen.

Thank you.

How comforting is His design, that He gives us a tangible place, the word and prayer, to know Him, connecting to Himself, through the HS. Plus, He has made Jeremiah 15:16 true, to show us just how potent He and His word are.

A person's letter is not the person themselves.

Not sure what you are saying. Will you explain? I am now pondering...

I do believe that our thoughts, words, and actions are a reflection of our inner dwellings. I think that is why we need to line ourselves to the reflection of Him.

Having someone's letter is not the same as actually having them with you.