When I was suicidal, all i wanted to be was in a more stable place. After looking and going to so many things, i finally went to God and felt loved! Before I searched to be cared for by other people, and after that I finally felt like i wouldn't be a bother, but things haven't felt so good as time has gone on. Over stressing about homework, and the addiction sneaking up on me has made life hard. I don't know if anti depressant could help, I've felt like I've been going insane at times. While I've felt like I've had a good relationship with God, when I talk to other Christians, I can't help but feel like I know nothing and all i am is scum. I love talking to God about things, and giving thanks to him, but I can't help but feel like I'm a pathetic, good-for-nothing scoundrel. I say these things because I want to acknowledge that I know I am bad and I'm sorry for existing and staining the world with my presence.
Michael
Am not a teen by any means but my heart goes out to you in your pain. I felt this way when first born again, years ago and struggled with depression. Jesus delivered me and have been free ever since.
He wants to teach you things you don’t yet understand. The first is He’s not concerned with how you may be now. It’s His job to change you, not yours. And you may be judging yourself too harshly. Second thing is we aren’t judged. He has freed us all from condemnation.
You need His joy and He is more than willing to give this to you.
Am hoping this poem that He gave me will help you.
Offerings
What could I offer to You O My King?
What is of worth, would I have to You bring?
Nothing but purest of gifts are You worthy..
My hands and my heart seem so empty..
My Child, it's not sacrifice that I am pleased with
I gave You the best gift that man cannot match.
It's your yes and amen, I believe You My Father
Yes Lord I trust You...my heart is stedfast..
But is that enough O My Father to trust You?
Can I stand fast in the day of our trouble?
What will we do when our days rise up evil?
And darkness is covering this land?
You shine like the Son with the light I have given
My Child it is brighter than day of your sun.
I've given you oil in your lamp and will guide you
Your footsteps won't falter, your race will be won.
I'm asking you stand and confess what I tell you
Stand and confess what you see with my eyes
For others You'll stand as the rock in my temple
Leading and guiding them home.
This is the offering with which you will please me.
Of mankind that's lost yet in darkness of sin
To be as My own Son in giving Me full heart
No other gift precious as life full of Him.
I'll pour in you oil that is that which is purest
The oil that flowed out of My Sons sacrifice
The first drops of oil that is golden and clearest
The bruising of healing oil flowing of love.
As healing drops flow over wounds of long standing
the light of My Presence will glow forth of glory.
I'll shine ever brighter in lives of this flowing..
My oil is the source, and you Child are the Bride. .
My Son is now ready and waiting for my call
To rise up and open the door to His Bride..
It's soon O my Children, this world soon is passing
Your King is coming...His light will abide.
This is the gift of you that I would ask Child.
Your faith in believing releases My oil
It's light is for leading those yet who are captured
in places of darkness, alone, and forlorn.
In the name of Jesus Christ, I bind lying spirits and command them to stop speaking to this son of our Lord and Saviour.