I wanted to express the situation that my family is in and ask for prayers on the matter. A year ago I posted a situation asking for prayers and I would say those prayers were heard. Part of this is just to get it off my chest because I don't deal with drama very well. I will try and be concise but this will probably be long and rambling.
So my last surviving grandparent isn't doing well, she is my favorite person in the world and very important to me. Two Monday's ago she had a mini-stroke with little to no lasting effects. This past Monday she tripped and fell and thank god she didn't break her hip, just a lot of swelling and pain. But her health isn't the main thing I am concerned with, it's the drama with other family members as everyone is striving to gain control of her life, finances and assets because these are probably her last years. (*edit: my core family has plenty of money, we care zero about inheritance)
I rarely judge people even internally but listening to my Mother and Father tell me the things that have been going on, I can't help but build my case against my oldest Aunt. I never bought into any of it because I never saw this type of behavior, mainly because she lives in another state and the only time I'm personally around her has been large family gatherings. But I started to believe the things being said when one time she told my Grandmother that she didn't know how to cook and was doing it wrong. Through the toughest times of my life I was able to visit my Grandparents on Sunday and sit in the nook and talk to my Grandmother while she cooked. She was a typical house wife and her entire life she fed a large family with little to nothing to go on. There is nothing I love more than my Grandmothers cooking, and I watched my Aunt push her away from the stove and take over. This sounds simple but it was the turning point when I realized that she is indeed a very controlling, manipulative and uncaring person.
My Aunt is disliked by most everyone, even her own husband, which is why she is thinking of moving to this state to live in my Grandparents old house as my Grandmother has moved a couple miles away. My biggest fear for my Grandmother is this woman coming to town and taking over her life. She comes to town a couple times a year and I don't visit my Grandmother when she is here, yet I see her soon after she leaves and I can tell without a doubt she is stressed to no end by my Aunt because her mental state is far worse. But for some reason she is a door mat and says, "no she's usually right" and it really bothers me. My Grandmother was a door mat her entire life and after her husband passed she finally felt freed.
*drama alert*
I could sit here and give several examples but I'll just give two. About a year ago she came to town and was driving my deceased Grandfathers truck, the service light came on and it started making a lot of noise, instead of pulling over and getting a tow truck she drove it for several more miles back to their old farm house. Once she shut it off the engine was seized. Ok that's not terrible, but the problem is that she took control and spent double the trucks value to have the engine replaced at the dealer. The thing is, we had a certified mechanic lined up to do it for half that but it wasn't her idea so she pulled strings and manipulated the situation and used my Grandmothers money to replace the engine...... to a truck that no one uses except for her when she's in town. This leads into my second example as the issue is a control issue, there are three sisters and one brother who is handicapped. The three sisters had a meeting with a lawyer a while back and made a verbal agreement to have a meeting before any large expense took place. My mother and other aunt were talking about what color to paint the old farm house when the oldest chimed in and said they're coming to paint tomorrow. More backstory is the house is pretty run down and needs to be scrapped and then painted, me and my father offered to completely reside it at cost but she didn't like that so we agreed to save money there would be a scrapping party where the whole family got together and scrapped paint off the house then perhaps a painting party. Would be a social event and save money. (she didn't even tell my Grandmother about the house being painted tomorrow)
My wandering point here is she is controlling and manipulative and I don't want her in my Grandmothers life. I know I am biased but my mother is very tentative and always asks "what do you want to do". After the mini-stroke my Grandmother brought up my moms idea of a healthy diet, which my mom gave up on previously because it was thought she might not want to do it, but no my Grandmother made plans for them to get together and go over everything. Then last minute my Grandmother said she doesn't want to do it, because my Aunt told her not to.
I just want my Grandmother to be taken care of and I don't trust my Aunt to be caring towards her. Please pray for the situation and also for my parent's to have patience and understanding. I think everyone needs some truth in the situation not just my Aunt.
Thank you,
God Bless
So my last surviving grandparent isn't doing well, she is my favorite person in the world and very important to me. Two Monday's ago she had a mini-stroke with little to no lasting effects. This past Monday she tripped and fell and thank god she didn't break her hip, just a lot of swelling and pain. But her health isn't the main thing I am concerned with, it's the drama with other family members as everyone is striving to gain control of her life, finances and assets because these are probably her last years. (*edit: my core family has plenty of money, we care zero about inheritance)
I rarely judge people even internally but listening to my Mother and Father tell me the things that have been going on, I can't help but build my case against my oldest Aunt. I never bought into any of it because I never saw this type of behavior, mainly because she lives in another state and the only time I'm personally around her has been large family gatherings. But I started to believe the things being said when one time she told my Grandmother that she didn't know how to cook and was doing it wrong. Through the toughest times of my life I was able to visit my Grandparents on Sunday and sit in the nook and talk to my Grandmother while she cooked. She was a typical house wife and her entire life she fed a large family with little to nothing to go on. There is nothing I love more than my Grandmothers cooking, and I watched my Aunt push her away from the stove and take over. This sounds simple but it was the turning point when I realized that she is indeed a very controlling, manipulative and uncaring person.
My Aunt is disliked by most everyone, even her own husband, which is why she is thinking of moving to this state to live in my Grandparents old house as my Grandmother has moved a couple miles away. My biggest fear for my Grandmother is this woman coming to town and taking over her life. She comes to town a couple times a year and I don't visit my Grandmother when she is here, yet I see her soon after she leaves and I can tell without a doubt she is stressed to no end by my Aunt because her mental state is far worse. But for some reason she is a door mat and says, "no she's usually right" and it really bothers me. My Grandmother was a door mat her entire life and after her husband passed she finally felt freed.
*drama alert*
I could sit here and give several examples but I'll just give two. About a year ago she came to town and was driving my deceased Grandfathers truck, the service light came on and it started making a lot of noise, instead of pulling over and getting a tow truck she drove it for several more miles back to their old farm house. Once she shut it off the engine was seized. Ok that's not terrible, but the problem is that she took control and spent double the trucks value to have the engine replaced at the dealer. The thing is, we had a certified mechanic lined up to do it for half that but it wasn't her idea so she pulled strings and manipulated the situation and used my Grandmothers money to replace the engine...... to a truck that no one uses except for her when she's in town. This leads into my second example as the issue is a control issue, there are three sisters and one brother who is handicapped. The three sisters had a meeting with a lawyer a while back and made a verbal agreement to have a meeting before any large expense took place. My mother and other aunt were talking about what color to paint the old farm house when the oldest chimed in and said they're coming to paint tomorrow. More backstory is the house is pretty run down and needs to be scrapped and then painted, me and my father offered to completely reside it at cost but she didn't like that so we agreed to save money there would be a scrapping party where the whole family got together and scrapped paint off the house then perhaps a painting party. Would be a social event and save money. (she didn't even tell my Grandmother about the house being painted tomorrow)
My wandering point here is she is controlling and manipulative and I don't want her in my Grandmothers life. I know I am biased but my mother is very tentative and always asks "what do you want to do". After the mini-stroke my Grandmother brought up my moms idea of a healthy diet, which my mom gave up on previously because it was thought she might not want to do it, but no my Grandmother made plans for them to get together and go over everything. Then last minute my Grandmother said she doesn't want to do it, because my Aunt told her not to.
I just want my Grandmother to be taken care of and I don't trust my Aunt to be caring towards her. Please pray for the situation and also for my parent's to have patience and understanding. I think everyone needs some truth in the situation not just my Aunt.
Thank you,
God Bless
