I am currently looking for my father/rejection

Father I am on my knees spiritually with a broken heart and I guess I have always been in a relationship with this broken heart for at least 12 years of my life. It is a heart that has held on to trauma, rejection, confusion, and belittlement. I father have done bad things too in my life as well as too others and I carry those burdens of guilt and shame to this day. I am not making excuses I can honestly say what I have done with a regretful heart, but I also know that forgiveness is the answer, forgiveness of self. I am struggling God, I can be open and honest in this darkness because I know I am not alone even though the darkness tries to convince me that I am. I lay in bed remembering all of the horrible things I have done to others and wishing I did not come to earth to become an ill will burden to the many people that have walked paths with me. I often am so confused about who I am and why am I such a complicated force of weirdness in the eyes of others, but again I fight these conflicting questions with.. "God loves you" and " if people can't understand you, it doesn't make you evil." but when you've been told these things by others you become them because you believe the words and we all know that words and believing in those words become powerful. Forgive me lord for not believing in the good things, even when people say good things to me and about me, it's hard for me to believe them because of the trauma I've gone through. Why is this a struggle? I am not asking for the answers of people because others cannot understand themselves to give me the right answers for my own life and situations. So what is the right answer lord? Do I stay strong? not give up? fight for another day? These burdens are to hard to keep carrying I am weak now, I'm in need of rest I need peace and reassurance that you are still there and you are listening.



I guess this a prayer request for God and also me just writing what's in my heart.

It is best to forgive him for all that and let Christ have your burden.

Forgive who may I ask? and how does one give Christ their burden?

Lord bless Sunlight77, and this prayer, in Jesus loving name, Amen!

Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world

My prayers go with you and remember, but for the grace of God go I.. none of us are here by our own merit, it's all by the Grace of a God who desired Mercy above all things..

And thus we all say, but for the Grace of God go I..

This soul belongs to the light, back off darkness, now, amen. I've read your last message on profile, please don't leave the forum. I also place faith into these promises of God for you. And we know God does not lie;

John 6:37 All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.

Philippians 1:6
being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

Matthew 11:28-30 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
28 “Come to me all of you who are tired from the heavy burden you have been forced to carry. I will give you rest. 29 Accept my teaching.[a] Learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will be able to get some rest. 30 Yes, the teaching that I ask you to accept is easy. The load I give you to carry is light.”

“For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you’” (Isaiah 41:13)

Heb. 7:25; Rom. 8:34; 1 John 2:1

Hebrews 7:25 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
25 So Christ can save those who come to God through him. Christ can do this forever, because he always lives and is ready to help people when they come before God.

1 John 2:1 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
Jesus Is Our Helper
2 My dear children, I write this letter to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone sins, we have Jesus Christ to help us. He always did what was right, so he is able to defend us before God the Father.

Romans 8:26 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
26 Also, the Spirit helps us. We are very weak, but the Spirit helps us with our weakness. We don’t know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit himself speaks to God for us. He begs God for us, speaking to him with feelings too deep for words.

Romans 8:34 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
34 Who can say that God’s people are guilty? No one! Christ Jesus died for us, but that is not all. He was also raised from death. And now he is at God’s right side, speaking to him for us.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6, 7)

“He will feed His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom” (Isaiah 40:11).

“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles” (Psalm 34:17).

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).

The simple answer, share your problems with others at church and ask them to pray for your family and walk in your shoes. Seek out the Stephen Ministry at your Church. Contact your deacon and elder for help. Pray to Jesus and the Father asking them to take your burdens. When you are not sure how to pray, Ask the Holy Spirit to fill in the gaps of your prayers. If your Church does not have a Stephen Ministry find one that does. It may be worth changing Churches to one that has the resources to help. If your child is in School speak with a Counselor there. If not call 211 and ask for help and groups.