Dealing with loneliness?

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Jilly81

Jilly81

Senior Member
#44
Jan 16, 2011
2,367
138
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#44
Jilly81 said:
Ironically, hours after you posted this, I dreamed that I received a Christmas card from you, and was quite happy. "Oh good, a greeting to which I can happily reply; it's from Gabe!" I recall thinking. This feeling did not leaving upon my awakening.
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@zeroturbulence , I stubbled across this post, and thought it was worth bumping. It'll make better sense if you click the link, of course :). How's you?
 
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Gojira

Guest
#47
#47
Jenny23 said:
How do other Christian singles or married people deal with loneliness? I find that just filling my schedule, even with meaningful things, doesn’t always help. Any insight or advice would be appreciated!
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I am going through the same thing. For me, there are no magical solutions. Like you, I remain active. I assign myself agenda lists every day, and try to make each day productive. I take care of the necessities, but I also try to leave room for other things.

While this keeps me from falling into a funk and helps me to get things done that I might otherwise keep putting off, it is not a substitute for good companionship -- of both same-sex friends and an opp-sex mate.
 
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Gojira

Guest
#48
#48
laughingheart said:
Hey Jenny,
Your question is very honest. I think there is something inside of everyone, that feels a little alone. We can drown it out at times, but we crave more than this life can give. There are times we feel it more acutely. There is a verse Isaiah 61:3, that says, "Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (some versions say spirit of despair or faint spirit)". There are a lot of ways to apply this. For me, focusing on the blessings, while it doesn't change the circumstances, it alters my perspective. Being grateful doesn't minimize your depth of pain, but rather, helps you to navigate it. Loneliness can dry up the bones and make us practically disappear. Finding ways to renew your spirit is essential. I had a time where my closest friends had scattered across the globe. I was single and I had no family nearby. I decided to search out people. I deliberately started inviting people I liked, over for a meal or to meet at a restaurant. I'd make it a small group and it was wonderful. It was something little but I decided to choose my actions rather than wait for life to improve on its own. I wanted to act rather than react. I am glad that you posted this question and I glad that you are here.
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I agree -- these are the things you must do. I am trying them, but so far to no avail, though I will not give up yet.
 
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Gojira

Guest
#49
#49
Lynx said:
"We speak of comfort and luxury as requirements for a happy life. The only thing a person needs in order to be happy is something to be enthusiastic about."

If you have something you are enthusiastic about, there is no such thing as free time you have to try to fill. Boredom and loneliness can't grow in such soil.
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Not true. I am abound with interests and passions. I am never bored. But, not being bored is not in and of itself a cure for aloneness, especially when you do all of those things alone. All the time.
 
Jilly81

Jilly81

Senior Member
#50
Jan 16, 2011
2,367
138
63
#50
zeroturbulence said:
Hi Jilly!!! LTNS :love: I'm doing well. How are you?
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I'm doing well also Gabe, glad to hear that you are too! Oh my goodness, this is so funny! See, I just looked at your profile, and noticed that the last message on your wall mentioned someone else having a dream about you. Though you told her that you couldn't recall anyone else having a dream about you, even though I had already posted about my Gabe dream at that point :). Sad how we often can't recall the emotional support of others, I am often guilty of this myself :(. I will pray that you recall more happy memories today (I have found that recalling good memories is easier when I specifically thank Jesus for things that have happened to me, even when I am sad that that part of my life has ended or been suspended).
Hope you have a really peaceful Christmas if I don't see you again before then!
 
Pureness

Pureness

Banned
#51
Oct 10, 2021
348
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#51
Jenny23 said:
How do other Christian singles or married people deal with loneliness? I find that just filling my schedule, even with meaningful things, doesn’t always help. Any insight or advice would be appreciated!
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Are you the type that likes to be accompanied by someone all day and night? If you enjoy that so be it. As for me, I need time to think and gather my thoughts, I can't be around someone from sun up to sun down all day everyday. That's just me.
 
true_believer

true_believer

Well-known member
#52
Sep 24, 2020
940
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#52
I find regularly engaging in hobbies, reading or physical activities are great ways to deal with loneliness and de-stress.
 
shineyourlight

shineyourlight

Senior Member
#54
May 25, 2015
6,149
850
113
#54
Jenny23 said:
How do other Christian singles or married people deal with loneliness? I find that just filling my schedule, even with meaningful things, doesn’t always help. Any insight or advice would be appreciated!
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I go to God - a lot.

I pray - a lot.

I spend time with friends - a lot.

Filling up your schedule might not always help, because it's a way of avoidance. It's a defense mechanism to keep you safe from feeling hurt. It's okay to be busy, but staying busy to avoid feelings is not healthy. Have a balance!

But, going to God with your hurts and putting on worship music will help a whole lot. IT has helped me in my loneliness and singleness.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#55
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#55
Dont know if @jenny23 is still here...maybe not but...

You can be lonely within your own family if you are like 'the odd one out' ...you know how it goes, mum favours your brothers, dad likes your older sister and you just the odd ugly duckling.

You can be lonely if you are always the new one in school, or workplace or whatever, everyone has already made friends and is in their cliques and they dont let you in...

The thing is then you need to find your own friends and start anew. I know for me God sent pets, He gave me books to read, an appreciation of nature and His presence.

Church fellowship was at first hard because some churches were standoffish or the opposite and TOO friendly. I think small groups are easier to go to than big ones. You just got to be patient and ask God about things. His grace is sufficient. I dont feel lonely in my relationship with Jesus.

There may be times Ive ignored Him and then wondered why I felt disconnected from not just people but everything. Its something or rather SomeONE you need to make time for and He is only a prayer away.
 
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