Dealing with loneliness?

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CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,210
6,784
113
#21
Sometimes, I isolate through it, which makes no sense. Usually, for me, I go through a cycle of self pity. I don't want to share it, as I know that is foolishness, so I go into my cave.

I write. I read. I pray. I eventually get through it, feeling stronger and able to hold my head up once again. I give God all the glory for that.

I know that for me, I create some of my own loneliness, tsk tsk, but it has often drawn me closer to Him.

I think loneliness is an ache that only He can fix.
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#22
Sometimes, I isolate through it, which makes no sense. Usually, for me, I go through a cycle of self pity. I don't want to share it, as I know that is foolishness, so I go into my cave.

I write. I read. I pray. I eventually get through it, feeling stronger and able to hold my head up once again. I give God all the glory for that.

I know that for me, I create some of my own loneliness, tsk tsk, but it has often drawn me closer to Him.

I think loneliness is an ache that only He can fix.
I will go into self pity mode as well. My coping mechanisms in the past have been to isolate from real relationships and turn to imagined ones. I am aware of all these things, and I think God is currently helping me break the cycle. Thank you for your thoughts!
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,210
6,784
113
#23
I did recently go through a breakup. I am the only believer in my immediate family. I have a very close and strong church family though. I have a prayer partner and mentor who prays for me everyday, and I pray for her as well. I am in the process of learning how to face my loneliness instead of run from it or futilely try to fill it. I am in the process of submitting my desires to God and trusting him even when my life situation seems to have taken, from my perception, a turn for the worse.

Thank you so much for taking time to ask! Does this answer your questions?
Breakup...oh I am sorry. So painful. I am glad you have a strong church family. In my opinion facing loneliness head on is brave, so very brave. It is also healthy. I think you will be stronger for it. I will pray for you Sister.

Thank you for this thread and for your transparency, it helps others to open up as well. It is cathartic to have a safe place to go.

God Bless you. Hugs from a far.
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#24
Breakup...oh I am sorry. So painful. I am glad you have a strong church family. In my opinion facing loneliness head on is brave, so very brave. It is also healthy. I think you will be stronger for it. I will pray for you Sister.

Thank you for this thread and for your transparency, it helps others to open up as well. It is cathartic to have a safe place to go.

God Bless you. Hugs from a far.
Thank you so much! I appreciate you!
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,210
6,784
113
#25
I will go into self pity mode as well. My coping mechanisms in the past have been to isolate from real relationships and turn to imagined ones. I am aware of all these things, and I think God is currently helping me break the cycle. Thank you for your thoughts!
Yes, He is always the way. Self pity is not healthy, but owning up to it, hoping to dispense of it, is.
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
1,919
942
113
#26
I did recently go through a breakup. I am the only believer in my immediate family. I have a very close and strong church family though. I have a prayer partner and mentor who prays for me everyday, and I pray for her as well. I am in the process of learning how to face my loneliness instead of run from it or futilely try to fill it. I am in the process of submitting my desires to God and trusting him even when my life situation seems to have taken, from my perception, a turn for the worse.

Thank you so much for taking time to ask! Does this answer your questions?
I think they did. Sounds like your doing everything right. If your loneliness is coming from not being married, just remember in heaven you don't have to worry about getting married. Our God is an awesome God!

Sorry to hear about your loneliness, I'm sure someone else will have a good solution for you.

Matthew 22:30

At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.
 

laughingheart

Senior Member
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,662
113
#27
You seem like a really lovely person and with your attitude it won't be long before you come out on the other side. So often we hide from the truth of our feelings because it frightens us. Loneliness, depression, anxiety and self doubt all grow in the darkness, those hidden corners of our hearts. What we can't do is pretend they are not there. That is how they grow until they overwhelm us. I think that it is only when we look at them squarely, feel the truth of them, grieve if we need to and deal with the pain. Personally I have to walk through the pain to get to a place of peace. Avoiding it only keeps me trapped. As Christians I think it is essential to be authentic. Sometimes that means we are in seasons of sorrow. We need to stop being ashamed or afraid to look like it is a sign of a lack of faith. We are way more relatable to the world and to ourselves and our lord when we stop with the, "look at how perfectly I navigate heartache. I only feel happy all day long." No. Joy, appreciation, gratitude and awe are things we have access to in most seasons but happy can be a little more illusive. Thank you for the good you have done by being willing to walk through this here and opening a door for others to share their truths as well. Hugs.
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#28
You seem like a really lovely person and with your attitude it won't be long before you come out on the other side. So often we hide from the truth of our feelings because it frightens us. Loneliness, depression, anxiety and self doubt all grow in the darkness, those hidden corners of our hearts. What we can't do is pretend they are not there. That is how they grow until they overwhelm us. I think that it is only when we look at them squarely, feel the truth of them, grieve if we need to and deal with the pain. Personally I have to walk through the pain to get to a place of peace. Avoiding it only keeps me trapped. As Christians I think it is essential to be authentic. Sometimes that means we are in seasons of sorrow. We need to stop being ashamed or afraid to look like it is a sign of a lack of faith. We are way more relatable to the world and to ourselves and our lord when we stop with the, "look at how perfectly I navigate heartache. I only feel happy all day long." No. Joy, appreciation, gratitude and awe are things we have access to in most seasons but happy can be a little more illusive. Thank you for the good you have done by being willing to walk through this here and opening a door for others to share their truths as well. Hugs.
Wow. Thank you so much. I really love what you said here. I used to hide my emotions from everyone and viewed weakness as something to be avoided because I hated the mess until it all came crashing down. Thank you for allowing me to open up without being judged and encouraging me. You have spoken words of life. Thank you again.
 

Jilly81

Senior Member
Jan 16, 2011
2,340
107
63
#29
This site used to be my antidote for loneliness, but it stopped being that some time ago... Now I just wander through my life like...

Ironically, hours after you posted this, I dreamed that I received a Christmas card from you, and was quite happy. "Oh good, a greeting to which I can happily reply; it's from Gabe!" I recall thinking. This feeling did not leaving upon my awakening.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
17,941
4,762
113
#30
The best cure I know of for loneliness is co-workers. There are some co-workers that make me very happy I am single. Every time I have to deal with them, I am thinking to myself, thank you Lord I am not stuck with this person all the time in my home.
 
Jun 20, 2019
7
14
3
#31
I dealt with loneliness for years, so I may understand the feeling. By God's grace, I finally got out of it just recently by just focusing on God, focusing on Christ, immersing myself in Christian content. I have around 150 songs on my Apple Music, and they're all Christian music, the majority being Christian hip-hop. Just listening to them helps take my focus off of myself and my current circumstances and focus on God, His grace through Christ, and His sovereignty.

I will admit, though, I do still struggle with isolation, just involving myself in fellowship with the church. The reason for that is simply shyness. I've had overwhelming nervousness come upon me just thinking about introducing myself to someone sitting next to me at church. But hopefully, by God's grace, this will change, in His time
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#32
I dealt with loneliness for years, so I may understand the feeling. By God's grace, I finally got out of it just recently by just focusing on God, focusing on Christ, immersing myself in Christian content. I have around 150 songs on my Apple Music, and they're all Christian music, the majority being Christian hip-hop. Just listening to them helps take my focus off of myself and my current circumstances and focus on God, His grace through Christ, and His sovereignty.

I will admit, though, I do still struggle with isolation, just involving myself in fellowship with the church. The reason for that is simply shyness. I've had overwhelming nervousness come upon me just thinking about introducing myself to someone sitting next to me at church. But hopefully, by God's grace, this will change, in His time
That's so awesome. I love how God gives us more and more of his grace. Thanks for sharing!
 
Nov 1, 2019
33
47
18
Cardiff, South Wales
#33
Hi Jenn,
Thank you for posting. This is a very real thing. Especially now with social media and the like, we seem to be even more detached and isolated as a society.
Recently, over the past year or two, I have felt incredibly lonely. I left my home church after 20 years (for what I felt are valid reasons after praying about things) and have struggled to find a new church. I only have a very small family, no siblings and only really one friend who lives in London.
During the loneliest time, I prayed to God and He showed me that He is all we need to cope.
That doesn't mean we don't still need others though. One thing I have started doing is things for others. Just simple things like giving food to the homeless now and again. Serving others makes you appreciate what God has done for us.
Making sure we don't isolate ourselves is very important. Attend church, sing up for conferences etc. and take time to make friends and not just expect others to become a friend to you.
Just a few thoughts. Hope you're well.
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#34
Hi Jenn,
Thank you for posting. This is a very real thing. Especially now with social media and the like, we seem to be even more detached and isolated as a society.
Recently, over the past year or two, I have felt incredibly lonely. I left my home church after 20 years (for what I felt are valid reasons after praying about things) and have struggled to find a new church. I only have a very small family, no siblings and only really one friend who lives in London.
During the loneliest time, I prayed to God and He showed me that He is all we need to cope.
That doesn't mean we don't still need others though. One thing I have started doing is things for others. Just simple things like giving food to the homeless now and again. Serving others makes you appreciate what God has done for us.
Making sure we don't isolate ourselves is very important. Attend church, sing up for conferences etc. and take time to make friends and not just expect others to become a friend to you.
Just a few thoughts. Hope you're well.
Thank you so much for your response and the reminder that it is more blessed to give than receive. Serving always blesses me immensely. I also like that you mentioned not to just expect others to become a friend to me but to reach out and be a friend to others.

That must have been very difficult to leave your home church after 20 years. Did you find a new church yet?
 
Nov 1, 2019
33
47
18
Cardiff, South Wales
#35
Hey Jenn ☺️
I have found a couple of churches that I feel might be worthwhile joining. I have prayed about what kind of church to join and now need to make an effort and get involved.

It was a lonely time and very hard to leave. I'd prayed about it for a couple of years and then God gave me peace after seeing certain things go on. Telling the youth was really hard as I'd worked with them for years. God is in control though 👍
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#36
Hey Jenn ☺️
I have found a couple of churches that I feel might be worthwhile joining. I have prayed about what kind of church to join and now need to make an effort and get involved.

It was a lonely time and very hard to leave. I'd prayed about it for a couple of years and then God gave me peace after seeing certain things go on. Telling the youth was really hard as I'd worked with them for years. God is in control though 👍
I’m so glad that you feel you have found a few options. Working with the youth is also awesome! I teach 8th graders and they crack me up on good days. Haha.
 
Nov 1, 2019
33
47
18
Cardiff, South Wales
#37
How old are 8th graders?🤔 The kids I deal with are 11-19 but I have worked with little ones before (covered a class of 4 year olds) and they were simply lush 😍😇 no answering back!🤣

PS - There's a prize for someone working out what my username is about. (Terms and conditions apply) 😂
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#38
How old are 8th graders?🤔 The kids I deal with are 11-19 but I have worked with little ones before (covered a class of 4 year olds) and they were simply lush 😍😇 no answering back!🤣

PS - There's a prize for someone working out what my username is about. (Terms and conditions apply) 😂
They are 13-14 years old. I just make them do burpees when they talk back. 🤣

Oh really??? Challenge accepted.

YWALGOCH= Yodeling was a luxury given opportunity cats hate

Nailed it. How will I receive my prize?
 
Nov 1, 2019
33
47
18
Cardiff, South Wales
#39
They are 13-14 years old. I just make them do burpees when they talk back. 🤣

Oh really??? Challenge accepted.

YWALGOCH= Yodeling was a luxury given opportunity cats hate

Nailed it. How will I receive my prize?
🤣That made my laugh out loud...which is a good thing as I'm currently getting drenched waiting for the pel-droed ⚽to start! By the way...those are some clues for you!👍

Not sure what the prize is just yet...I need a think🤔
 
J

Jenny23

Guest
#40
🤣That made my laugh out loud...which is a good thing as I'm currently getting drenched waiting for the pel-droed ⚽to start! By the way...those are some clues for you!👍

Not sure what the prize is just yet...I need a think🤔
Haha. I mean you look like a dog guy so I went with that...