What is the biggest age gap you would consider when dating someone?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Jun 10, 2019
4,304
1,659
113
tough question if I was 28 again I wouldn’t date a 18 year old yet at 51 I would consider 41 or even 61 but I guess it boils down to maturity
 
M

MegMarch

Guest
A bit, haha. Can’t you tell if a man loves you? You’ll see it in his eyes, the way he looks at you. It will be pure. He will be looking at you endearingly. You may even wonder, “Why is he looking at me?”

I don’t know how much you are into dating, if that’s a thing haha, but have you asked the Lord to provide you a man that you can love and will love you?
I may have seen that look before. 😂

I have asked the Lord that. I will not proceed with marriage unless I feel God is giving me the green light. He has not done that since I have become a believer. I go through phases where I don’t date. Sometimes long periods of a year or so. It really depends on what I think the Lord is leading me to do. I’m not currently dating right now.

What about yourself?
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,060
3,173
113
Maybe you are still young that you did not have that problem yet. The problem arises when the couple with huge age gap gets older and the other will have an affair because, the partner cannot keep up with the physical needs anymore.
I'm 43. Not that young. And my average relationship age gap is 5 years younger than me. I simply choose people who match my lifestyle.
But, again, it's not just me. I've never actually heard of this problem from anyone I've ever known, either. Not to say it doesn't happen, but it just doesn't seem common.
My parents had a 14 year age gap. Never had this problem, even when they got older.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
I'm 43. Not that young. And my average relationship age gap is 5 years younger than me. I simply choose people who match my lifestyle.
But, again, it's not just me. I've never actually heard of this problem from anyone I've ever known, either. Not to say it doesn't happen, but it just doesn't seem common.
My parents had a 14 year age gap. Never had this problem, even when they got older.

If your father is older, maybe it worked for them since men tend to mature at a later age compared to women. But if the wife is older, it is less likely to work.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
34
I may have seen that look before. 😂

I have asked the Lord that. I will not proceed with marriage unless I feel God is giving me the green light. He has not done that since I have become a believer. I go through phases where I don’t date. Sometimes long periods of a year or so. It really depends on what I think the Lord is leading me to do. I’m not currently dating right now.

What about yourself?
I will tell you in private, it’s personal. But that is good that you’re looking for the Lord to give you the green light.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,060
3,173
113
If your father is older, maybe it worked for them since men tend to mature at a later age compared to women. But if the wife is older, it is less likely to work.
Wait. Now we've changed the subject to maturity? That wasn't the original topic.
And as far as reasons for cheating, one not able to keep up with the other is still not common. There are usually plenty of other, more important, factors that determine the likelyhood of cheating. It's not going to be common that a happily married couple, still in love, will cheat due to a lack of intimacy. Because cheating suggests an unhappy marriage. Or a dishonest spouse.
These blanket statements you make simply are not too common.
 

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
Wait. Now we've changed the subject to maturity? That wasn't the original topic.
And as far as reasons for cheating, one not able to keep up with the other is still not common. There are usually plenty of other, more important, factors that determine the likelyhood of cheating. It's not going to be common that a happily married couple, still in love, will cheat due to a lack of intimacy. Because cheating suggests an unhappy marriage. Or a dishonest spouse.
These blanket statements you make simply are not too common.
I am not generalizing. It is just from my own observation from what I have seen and it's probably different since I am not from your country.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
1,671
113
That look though.... the eyes, the facial expressions, the body language, love languages expressed... says it all. Words mean nothing to me if the actions don’t back it up.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
13,097
10,663
113
I know a similar thread has already been created, but I would love to hear some answers to my specific question.
Well....when I was younger I usually liked and dated men not more than 10 yrs older. Now, I don't want to sound like a cougar, but I have dated men younger bc some men don't take care of themselves. My son's dad is 13 yrs younger, wasn't really a mature a Christian though. I think some men don't realize us ladies have a keen eye too, lol.
 
Aug 28, 2018
60
33
18
Well....when I was younger I usually liked and dated men not more than 10 yrs older. Now, I don't want to sound like a cougar, but I have dated men younger bc some men don't take care of themselves. My son's dad is 13 yrs younger, wasn't really a mature a Christian though. I think some men don't realize us ladies have a keen eye too, lol.
Yes. I am one of those men. The mother of my kids looks like she’s in her 20’s and I look like my age if not more. That is one of the reasons we are not together.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
13,097
10,663
113
Yes. I am one of those men. The mother of my kids looks like she’s in her 20’s and I look like my age if not more. That is one of the reasons we are not together.
Lovability counts for a lot too:love: and exercise, diet and faith, lol. God bless.
 
Aug 28, 2018
60
33
18
Lovability counts for a lot too:love: and exercise, diet and faith, lol. God bless.
i have been doing the warrior fasting for over a year 20 hours don’t eat and only eat within a four hour window. No rice, bread or suger and an almost non existent carbohydrate intake. Food is a drug that is addicting. Gluttony is a sin. Our society is centered around eating and drinking. To have sugar runnning through your veins for for almost all of your life and the. To not have is a major withdrawal and life isn’t the same. Ok God bless you.
 

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
Oct 23, 2018
13,097
10,663
113
i have been doing the warrior fasting for over a year 20 hours don’t eat and only eat within a four hour window. No rice, bread or suger and an almost non existent carbohydrate intake. Food is a drug that is addicting. Gluttony is a sin. Our society is centered around eating and drinking. To have sugar runnning through your veins for for almost all of your life and the. To not have is a major withdrawal and life isn’t the same. Ok God bless you.
Well you have to throw in a fudge sundae, sweet potato pie, etc once in a while or life would be dismal, lol.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
13,584
9,104
113
I think it's much more common for men to pass women their age or older by in favor of a younger woman, because it's thought that a younger woman will be active and keep them young.

I wonder if any guys here have been passed up for a younger man, because the younger lady they were pursuing was thinking the same thing? That he was too old to keep up with her?

And how do men react to this when it's on the other side of the coin?
It's funny. When guys are younger, say under 30, they are mostly cool with an older woman. My brother's wife for instance is 11 yrs older than him.

Younger men aren't too picky about age. They're not thinking "one day I'll be 69 and she'll be 80!" They are thinking "wow, look at that hot, sophisticated lady!".

OBVIOUSLY other factors than looks go into the equation, but I think we'd all be lying if we didn't say physical attractiveness didn't play a fairly significant role.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,615
1,318
113
Yes sadly it is their justification. It is one of the reasons why so many people divorce and they blame their spouse for their infidelity. It happens, that is why when people say age does not matter, I am not really sure. When you are not satisfied physically, the temptation to find someone else is strong.
But the problem is with their heart. They need to repent of sin. They are being selfish instead of loving. Selfishness will eventually destroy a marriage.
Yes... agree.... in fact you've both helped me a lot really, because I've struggled with the fact I've been single for 9 years....and yet I'm sat here now thinking...' If my kids are grown and I have a lot more time and freedom I wouldn't want to be with someone who was way to busy for me because that would be boring and frustrating and just wouldn't work👌And the flip-side is also true: if I have been very busy bringing up kids, moving house etc, etc, then it would have been very unfair on someone else if they wanted time with me. 😃😁🙌💡Praise God...He knows what He is doing😊🙏🏻❤️
i have been doing the warrior fasting for over a year 20 hours don’t eat and only eat within a four hour window. No rice, bread or suger and an almost non existent carbohydrate intake. Food is a drug that is addicting. Gluttony is a sin. Our society is centered around eating and drinking. To have sugar runnning through your veins for for almost all of your life and the. To not have is a major withdrawal and life isn’t the same. Ok God bless you.
Good food is also a blessing from the Lord 👌🙏🏻❤️
 
Dec 8, 2019
61
91
18
We are free to enjoy all of the tasty foods that are "bad for you", just have to pay the price at the gym later. All about balance
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
42,595
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
tough question if I was 28 again I wouldn’t date a 18 year old yet at 51 I would consider 41 or even 61 but I guess it boils down to maturity
I agree that the acceptable age differential varies at the current age of the one doing the considering. If I were 28 I wouldn't date an 18 year old either. My range at the age of 28 would probably be 21-31.