Marriage help

My husband isn't always easy to talk to about this stuff either and he doesn't seem to understand it very well.

1. As you know actions speak louder than words. There is always some time between supper time (after the children have been put to bed) and bedtime when YOU can take the initiative -- without saying a word -- and then have a sound sleep later. Perhaps you have never taken the initiative, so now it has become a battle rather than a pleasure. The underlying assumption being that you both genuinely love each other. If not then that's something else entirely.

2. As to anxiety, depression and stress, you can always ask your husband after supper to sit down with you and talk about the things that are bothering you, so that you both can resolve them jointly. Again, the underlying assumption is that there is genuine love on both sides.

3. But firstly you need to ask yourself why you suffer from depression. Once again, assuming you are a Christian, the antidote to depression is to hand your problems over to the Lord and be anxious for nothing after prayer, and at the same time sit down with a piece of blank paper with two columns. The headings for those columns would be PROBLEMS vs SOLUTIONS. Then you and your husband should sit down, do some brainstorming, and come up with solutions. TO EVERY PROBLEM THERE IS A SOLUTION. This should be written at the top and should become the principle for resolving problems.

Greetings Dani welcome... I think you will like it here in the cc... Lots of amazingly honest, and gracious, sometimes outspoken and opinionated - but always loving, caring and giving of advice for those who are seeking prayer, friendship, support or just a break from their daily routine...

Given your scenario - I agree you guys should try to get some professional/Christian marriage counseling - for your benefit especially.
As it is evident that - just like any spoiled little boy - he is selfishly using manipulation to try to get what he wants whenever he wants it...
By giving in to his selfish ways you are only enabling his selfish behavior...

It is important for you to keep pumping the breaks to ensure a two way street here...

Albeit, rather than trying to find a stick (spanking/punishment metaphor) as a forcing function to correct his behavior - I suspect that using sugar (reward/benefit metaphor) would serve to be much more beneficial for the both of you.

The self-help material on this topic suggest Communication; Attraction; Date Nights; Daily Affection; and Setting the Mood are the keys to healthy intimacy in marriage.

Bottom-line: you owe it to yourself to strive to try to have a meaningful conversation on this subject (Communication) as a means to both resolve his selfish behavior; while also trying to help resolve your relationship feelings at the same time...
Consider asking him out for coffee and expressing your feelings to him - enlighten him that if he were to put forward the effort for taking you out on a date nite once a week, showing you some affection during the day and working a little harder to setting the mood (planning) that the experience is much more likely to be well worth his efforts...

Good luck
How to Keep Your Sex Life Healthy in Marriage

God Bless

Lol... IMHO after looking over all of my recommendations to the OP on this thread and comparing objectively with yours it would appear that we are respectfully in violent agreement on all fronts save it would seem that where I emphasize they are in need of help, it would appear that you may disagree?
While your success story is commendable, did you also read into all of the OPs scenario challenges that he has no desire to talk/communicate with her on these topics... It would seem that her husband is very likely not cut from the same cloth as you...
BTW, I was married for 28 years and my wife 1.0 essentially did all the things I suggested as a means to open my eyes to her feelings. At the end of the day in an effort to save my marriage I arrived to apply both of our recommendations and some... But at that point it was too late as she/we did not get the professional/Christian counseling that was needed... At the end of the day she reached her breaking point.
My genuine concern for the OP is that she is potentially is on that same path...
God bless...

you must be a professional counsellor

The only way someone can have sex every day/multiple times a day is if they LOVE sex, not just like it. A lot of women do not LOVE sex, regardless of what you see on TV. So therein lies the problem. If men view sex as a physical need, which I read a few times above, it is not really a loving act. Walking up your wife in the middle of the night for a "physical need" is plain wrong and selfish, especially if the wife does not LOVE it and views it as wifely duty.

Some women do like it. Maybe it’s just you🙂